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Optimistic C.
OptimisticChris
Madison, WI
Post #: 32
Hello SP-DA...

We had a discussion earlier this summer at a meetup about our soulmate. I'd love to explore it a little more here. With almost 400 members, surely we can figure it out between us!

According to Wiki...
A soulmate (or soul mate) is the theoretical person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate. In New Age spirituality, the ultimate soulmate is the one and only other half of one's soul.

So I have some questions...

Do soulmates exist?

Will you recognize your soulmate right away or does it take time?

What happens if soulmates are at different points in their lives... is it just a matter of time before the planets align and what will be will be?

There are many fish in the ocean... but do we only have one soulmate?

How many people do you know who married their soulmate... and how can you tell?

Has anyone walked away from their soulmate? Can you go back?

Any other related questions to ponder?

I'd appreciate your thoughts and insights.

OC





A former member
Post #: 1
Hello OC: I do believe in soulmates, I connected with a old flame last fall for a drink while getting divorced and he knew he loved me that first minute we meet. I didn't know he was my soulmate till a little later after that little flame was ignited again. But I wish the story was that perfect. He has allot of friends who drink and like to party to much, we moved in together after 4 short months and he was driving me crazy, I guess I needed more time after my divorce to find myself again ( verbally abusive marriage) so after 3 weeks I told him he had to leave. We have had many falling outs since and it's a toxic relationship. I have come to the conclusion that it's not our time to be together till death do us part so I'm walking away from my true love, but I believe in fate and hope someday he gets his life together enough that the Universe will bring us back together as a couple. Finding some one new to date and fall in love with is so hard, I'm tired of being lonely! SG
Mary A.
user 14361280
Madison, WI
Post #: 35
What an awesome, uplifting topic! Great way to start my Sunday!

YES soul mates, soul sisters, and soul brothers exist. There's no denying it, when you meet one. I don't think there's only one of any of these, though I think most people are not aware enough of who they are to be ready for one soul mate in a lifetime, let alone two. MOST people...and nothing is impossible.

The key with everything in life is allowing yourself to know who you are...to continue learning and growing, throughout your life. What good would it do you to meet your soul mate, when you're not ready? Love yourself and the world will love you back.

In regards to romance, I had written a NOTE a while back on finding the mate of your dreams a while back. It's on my website and free to read with no strings...look under the menu of "A NOTE FROM MARY ANNE." My website is AnniePress.com.

To answer some of rest of Chris' questions, personally...

I am with my soulmate (we are both absolutely sure, and we both feel like we REALLY know what romantic love is now, for the first time in our lives...and I was married before, I'll have you know)

We did not recognize it at first...it took time and growth and healing on both our parts. BOTH have to be in the right "place" in their life for this to happen...and some may never allow it, their entire life.

I know a few couples that I feel are soulmates...the deep respect and knowledge of each other makes it apparent. With me and my Honey, even things we don't know about each other, we do know what choices the other would make and what they want...we just know...

We were together several years back and honestly, the intensity of the connection scared us both and we parted on respectful, loving terms after just 3 months of bliss. Neither of us were ready at that time. But we never stopped thinking about each other, and once in a great while (months or a year) one of us would just text the other to say "Hope you're doing great..." with no motion to get together or continue the conversation. I think it was 3 years later when he insisted on taking me out to dinner. Despite my being guarded, we reconnected like no time had passed, and are happily committed to each other, forever. : ) We both had a lot of growing to do, inbetween, and I thank God every day that we had that time apart to do just that.

Thank you for the wonderful, warm feelings today, Chris...and what a time to be reminded to be thankful! Have an awesome Thanksgiving, everyone...make sure you are doing something to warm your heart!

Mary Anne

A former member
Post #: 54
I thought I had found my soulmate this past summer. She was the most appealing woman I'd met since 1968, when I was in college. Things were amazingly wonderful, though not without an occasional bump here and there. After three months she abruptly turned on me over something as petty as using e-mail (which we used a lot) instead of calling her on the phone. After a string of sarcastic second-guessing I saw that she had a Jekyll-Hyde quality and ended the relationship.

So, you may have a soulmate, but don't get into complacently thinking he or she is perfect. Give it time. And expect that you both may have to do some work to get the practical things to flow.
Dorothy G.
dagulli
Madison, WI
Post #: 2
All who have posted...

Especially Chris and Mary Anne:

I thought that I had found my soul-mate about 2 months ago, we connected immediantly and the time we spent together went so fast. We thought about each other everyday and wanted to be with each other everyday. We confessed our love for each other in those two months, but then I had alot of stressful things happen in my life....job related and kid related that happened all within the last 4 weeks. He said that I was scaring him and that he felt we needed to take a break from each other and for me to focus on family, kids and friends and he would do the same. He had no desire to date anyone else and neither do I. He said let's stop contact for now for me to get back to the person he met and see if this was meant to be. I miss him terribly and each day that goes by I don't think about him, but I have to focus on me right now. I take one day at a time and celebrate the successes that come with it.

Any thoughts?
Mary A.
user 14361280
Madison, WI
Post #: 36
Dorothy,

You sound like me, our first time around. Looking back, I am grateful that I had the time apart to allow myself to be more independent and learn more about myself, AND handle some very stressful family situations too. I am also grateful that he had the time to grow and realize more what he wanted out of life, and a relationship.

The timing is about the same, too...we barely hung on about 3 months. While time stood still when we were together, I had more I needed to do in the rest of my life, and I may not have done as well, had we been together...I'm sure it would have distracted me too much.

You have the perfect attitude...take each day, one at a time, and do your best with it. Reach out a little more so you can learn more about you and your family...those kids grow up too fast, and no matter what, true love is true love...and he may need some time to learn more about himself too (we all do, all the time! : ) Take this time to savor your family time, find your purpose in life, and let yourself have fun exploring new things. REAL is unbelievable attractive to everyone around us...it brings a sense of comfort and peace with it. LOVE your family and you right now, and love will show up, every where you turn...including from him, eventually, if it is beneficial to both of you.

Even now, my Honey and I sometimes have a whole week between seeing each other, but I feel strong and secure even when we're not together. Sure, we'd rather be together all the time, and we'll get there, but for now, we respect the other priorities in each others lives. Focus on your happy memories of him and know that that love and those feelings are what you want and what you will have, before long. (Regardless of who it is with...that's what I did and I was amazed when he ended up being the man of my dreams...I didn't even see it coming!)

EVERY situation is different, so you can't gauge what will happen with you on what happened to me, but for us, we NEEDED 3 years for our learning and growing, and that's how long we went without seeing each other, but trust me, it felt like no time had passed.

And he's so proud of how well I've raised my kids while putting out a life-changing book (that he didn't know I was writing : ) And now, I can GIVE him more of me and my time without doubting my priorities...

I am babbling, so I'm going to end there for now. You have been given this time to focus on YOU, so give YOU what YOU deserve...love yourself completely and unconditionally and love will fall at your feet! : )

Hugs,

Mary Anne
Sue
user 19379981
Prairie du Sac, WI
Post #: 13
I had always thought soul mates existed.

I thought I was with my soul mate for 26+ years. I really thought we were brought together by some force. We had gone through a lot together over the years. But now, I really don't know.

Now I am questioning everything... cause to be honest if he was my soul mate what does it say about me? I don't like lying and cheating and betrayal. I would think if you love someone...it's not something you do. But again.... differences.... must be why we are no longer together!

My heart is broken, but healing....

I always had believed in soul mates before getting burned and I do want to believe in soul mates...although right now I am just a bit tarnished from it. ;)

I find some of the questions you raise thought provoking.
- I would hope you would be open enough to know you have found your soul mate
- I am not convinced it "smacks" you in the face
- From what has been posted so far, I guess you can go back....
- I am very much on a new spiritual journey for myself right now... so those planets aligning... I think it could happen

To the wonders of love and the universe!!!

Sue
A former member
Post #: 14
I always thought "soulmate" was a mushy and barfy term that deeply in love 17 year olds use when their hearts are broken. I tend to look at it now as an intense intimacy that does not compare to other relationships - friends or lovers. That mutual respect and connection and totally "getting" each other that is really unique and breathtaking.
Does it only happen once? I'm not so sure about that. That is like saying you can only have one best friend in your whole life.
It may be mushy, but I think of the movie the Titanic - they met again at the top of the stairs in the end. Maybe some of us will be travelling up 2 or 3 or 4 different staircases to be greeted by more than one "soulmate".
I know I'll meet at least one "soulmate" at the top of the stairs. Hoping there will be more than one staircase for me ~ I guess I won't know till the movie is done. I am looking forward to the third act to see what comes next.

Kathy
A former member
Post #: 95
OC: Would you answer some of your own questions?!
I originally thought no to soul mates - just really, really good matches and some that are not-so-good but you could make it work, and then some you never shoulda bothered with to begin with. But reading Mary Ann's take on it, sounds like there are! I do have soul-sisters, so why not find me a soul-mate? Of course, I would never spend the same amount of time with my soul-sister as I would with a soul-mate - so is that really apples to apples? Doesn't provide as much opportunity for disagreement if you don't live together. Hmmmmm. . . jury still out on this one.
Mary A.
user 14361280
Madison, WI
Post #: 37
I still love this discussion : ) Just a couple quick things to add:

1. We can't have anything we don't believe in. We have to believe in it, to truly want it, and then to have it.
2. I wrote a very simple article on how to get the mate of your dreams a few months ago--it's out on my website for free, anniepress.com if anyone is ready to start focusing on their soulmate. (Under the NOTES menu)

Enjoy and just remember, nothing can come to you unless you allow it. That's the challenge and the beauty of free will...

Have an awesome day, everyone...why not? : )

Mary Anne
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