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John C
Dodgeville, WI
Post #: 83
I remember reading this when I joined. I thought of those who really "hated" their former mates and two things came to mind: One was a Jimmy Stewart movie - Civil War era - where a young man asks permission to marry JS's daughter. Jimmy asks "Do ya like her, boy?" The lad replies "I LOVE her Sir" Jimmy says, "That won't get you through the hard times..."

I believe love is a choice (a lifetime decision) so the second of course is he Corinthians passage:
Love is patient. Love is kind.
Love is not jealous; it does not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries.
Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth.
There is no limit to loves forbearance, its truth, its hope,
its power to endure.

When my son's wife left him, I told him, if you really actually love her, you'll want her to be happy, even if it's with someone else. I told him I love his Mom but I'd never date her. We're deeply connected but a relationship is WAY more than that. We are still best friends.

I have a dozen Soulmates around the world, some I haven't seen in 20+ years. We know each other heart and soul and if anyone of them would call this afternoon and say they need me, I'd be on the road in an hour.

Now that I've ambled on, Soulmates need not become spouses but, should you ever find a soulmate who you really like and make the choice to love forever, you're amongst the most blessed people in the world.
A former member
Post #: 96
Adding a little reflection since my first reply to this topic and some distance from my divorce...

We are talking about a sort of personal mythology here. I think mythologies are important. Finding "magic" in our love relationships is important because chemical attraction and pragmatic partnering chip away like old paint over time.

My mom believes we travel in families of souls. I like that idea. Maybe some souls swim closer to us overall than others and there will be some that we are more connected to. I think divorce makes it more complicated because we might have thought we had a soul mate and it now seems that we were wrong. How do you believe again when you believed before and it turned out not to be the case.

Well, maybe we weren't wrong. Maybe we swam together the distance we were meant to in this lifetime, and now that time is done. Maybe in another life that we will swim again. But obviously we are not evolved together in the way we can do it in this lifetime. So maybe someone new isn't a replacement, but another member of our soul family, perhaps one more suited to swim closer and more connected. Or perhaps they're even the same soul, but more evolved in one form as opposed as another (we are assuming a mythology here, why do we have to be bound from souls overlapping in time).

I definitely have an intimate connection to my parents and to my children and while they aren't the people I partner with, they are people I seek comfort from and provide comfort to. I don't think the idea of more than one soul-connection takes anything away from each other. It seems pretty obvious to me that our sexual beings are a state of body, not of soul, and there are no walls of exclusivity in the soul. Our love envelops, the things of the body such as pain, judgment, dogma, all are left behind. We don't have to protect ourselves. We can just be together.

It's an unconventional mythology, perhaps too mushy for a cynical society, but it's one that gives me comfort.
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