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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › Handling the Holidays

Handling the Holidays

user 6540411
Group Organizer
Madison, WI
A member has asked that I pose a question to the group. That is, how do folks handle the holidays, particularly during the times when you do not have your child(ren) and you do not have anywhere else to go? Any thoughts or experiences you'd be willing to share would be greatly appreciated.

Please post your responses to the message board.

A former member
Post #: 2
One of the following, in this order:

  • Sleep in. Go for a walk. Probably end up at Subway. Rent a movie and watch it by myself.
  • Do something less lazy and holiday-related for the good holidays to show some spirit.
  • Volunteer to take someone's on-call shift at work.
  • Think about what other people are doing.

user 8080883
Waunakee, WI
Post #: 14
Last Thanksgiving was my first holiday without my son. Instead of staying home and feeling sorry for myself, I did something I always wanted to do - I signed up to serve dinner to the needy at a local church. It was extremely beneficial for me to help others, and the food was delicious! I also met some new friends that day.
A former member
Post #: 97
I'd be willing to have people over for Thanksgiving if anyone is interested. I'm not gonna cook a turkey and my table only seats six but I'll make lasagna (unless someone else wants to make turkey and bring it) and we can eat in the living room too :)
Johanna S.
Madison, WI
Post #: 3
I am lucky enough to have family close by that I can spend time with. I am very close to my family as well, so last year at Christmas, when I didn't see my kids for almost two weeks, I spent a lot of time up at my parents. They are older, so I spent my time doing chores to help them out (shoveling - LOTS of shoveling, chopping wood, decorating, etc.). But I also appreciated doing the simple things that I don't normally do - waking up early, drinking coffee, enjoying the quiet while watching birds. I took long walks. Maybe watched what I wanted on tv, read trashy magazines (guilty!), cooked a new recipe, baked cookies, etc. I guess keeping busy helps. It tends to keep your thoughts from gravitating towards the negative. I will be alone for Thanksgiving this year and really like the idea of volunteering somewhere for the holiday, so hopefully that will work out for me.
A former member
Post #: 29
My problems with the holidays differ from those that I see here. I have sole custody, but Sophie's Mom tends to make promises that she can't keep. Like deciding on December 22nd that she'll fly in on Christmas eve. She'll tell Sophie that she's coming for Christmas (before calling the airline to get fare/flight info). Then she discovered she couldn't do it, and just blows it off. She did the same thing for Sophie's birthday, and the 4th of July.

So my dealing with the holidays centers more around trying to run interference, and monitoring phone calls, and hoping I don't have to explain why Mama's not coming like she promised.
A former member
Post #: 2
This will be my first alone, not looking forward to it. My big kids will be with their father, but my baby and I will be chillin, watching old movies and early bed. Not too bad all things considered!
user 10768564
Madison, WI
Post #: 3
This will be my first holiday alone and I am not looking forward to it. My friends are all married and have family events going on and my family is getting together this Sunday because everyone has their individual families spread all over the place to be able to get everyone together. So, right now I think I am going to hide in front of the tv with my dogs and watch a movie or two of three.
user 3596586
Chicago, IL
Post #: 4
i have full custody of my son so he always with me during the holidays....
user 9322904
Waunakee, WI
Post #: 3
I also have my son all of the time because I am widowed. We have always alternated between my parents and the in-laws for Thanksgiving and Christmas each year. Being with the in-law family with one person missing has been very hard too. It gets a little easier each year, but I still need some alone time. I have volunteered for Christmas Eve tasks at church like ushering/greeting and have played special music at some of the services. This will be the first year that I am entertaining my family and some friends for the Thanksgiving meal so I will have no problem keeping busy.

I like to bake cookies, so I have made extras for the MOM Food Pantry in Middleton. It was very special to meet some of their clients and to know that what I did made their holiday more joyous. Anyone that has helped out with serving homeless or other community dinners has commented about the blessings they received too.
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