Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › Suggestions on how to handle this new age of cyber connections?

Suggestions on how to handle this new age of cyber connections?

ErinSteph
user 10935938
Madison, WI
Post #: 1
Hi, so here is the situation. I am a member of a connection group Facebook or Myspace etc., along with many others out there. I over the years have gained lots of mutual friends and relatives with my separated husband. Recently I have been getting comments made such as backhanded directed at me and the situation. Or just flat out dropped as a friend. I am wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to handle it. or if they have experienced it.

I dont know if I should just drop them all or take the comments and let them roll off. Just very difficult to handle on top of a already rock situation.

Thanks again!
A former member
Post #: 32
I am not sure how these "social networking" sites are set up.
However, if it's feasible, I would just establish a new myspace or facebook account, and then send out a bulk message to everyone on your current list, telling them about the new account. Explain your situation, and establish some ground rules. It's very common for someone to take sides in a situation like this. Let them know that's fine, and if they want to be your friend, they can, and if they want to be a snarky jerk, they can do that elsewhere.

Good luck!
A former member
Post #: 1
Discretion is a lost concept in online social networks. A separation or divorce or breakup can lead to some rather uncomfortable online assaults on individuals. In general, I don't think there is much to be gained by defending or negotiating through websites or message boards, etc. My suggestion is to cut your losses and change your accounts and start fresh. Your real and true friends will stick by you and the others will likely not follow.

If things get really uncomfortable for you then I would suggest just taking a break from online social networking altogether and wait until the dust settles to start over.
ErinSteph
user 10935938
Madison, WI
Post #: 2
Thank you for some advise... Sadly, It didnt even occur to me to completely start over.

A few years ago this would not have even been a thought to me. That if you ever divorced or separated or broke up with someone that you had to deal on a daily basis with their friends and family and even themselves. Healing and moving forward is difficult with these types of reminders and interactions. I just figured long ago when we first were married that if something happened my world would somehow magically separate from his. Reality it is that our world are so intertwined and even more so in the world of "social networking" I was just at a loss for what to do.

The worst to me is that we share a professional photography business and studio, of which, his family has been posting to our fan page these types of comments. I think those comments should be left to yourself or sent to me in a message. My clients do not need to read about family differences or problems. If I respond at all i feel like a high schooler or unprofessional, and at 31, I am far from HS. I just keep deleting them. Any suggestions on that one?
A former member
Post #: 1
I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I have a facebook account and since my husband and I split, I have not even logged on because I do not know what to do with it or how to proceed. I have almost all mutual friends as friends on the account, so it is hard. I may just delete the account eventually and start fresh. I haven't been much of a "facebooker" anyway. I guess I don't have any real advice for you, sorry, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Kathryn
user 10588499
Madison, WI
Post #: 2
Try to separate yourself as much as possible from him. Have different accounts. If you work together, try to get a different job. (Working together will most likely no longer be feasible. If you try to stay in that world, you are just putting yourself in a hurtful spot.) My ex actually even took over a friend of mine that I developed without him after the divorce. What you have to realize is that, if these people are doing this, they are not truly good friends. Good friends don't make comments and don't do negative things to you. Quietly cut your losses and the pain that comes with that with those who are obviously showing preferences. Stick to your friends that show loyalty. Those are your caring and important people. As the divorce dust settles, your life becomes more clear. Over time, you make new friends. Life gets better, and the friends you still have and make can be friends forever.
A former member
Post #: 4
My ex and both have Facebook accounts and are planning on staying "friends" on those sites so we can share pictures of the kids easier and keep up on thier activities when in each others care. Im not saying it isnt hard nor painful when she posts about her current guy but I do it for the kids sake.
Powered by mvnForum

People in this
Meetup are also in:

Sign up

Meetup members, Log in

By clicking "Sign up" or "Sign up using Facebook", you confirm that you accept our Terms of Service & Privacy Policy