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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › QOW #8: New Tasks

QOW #8: New Tasks

user 6540411
Group Organizer
Madison, WI
Hello Everyone:

Here is a question for your consideration that stems from a discussion we had Monday night.

What is one household task or chore you never had to do when you were married that you have had to learn since becoming single?

For me it was buying and using a snow blower.

Please post your replies to this thread on the message board.

A former member
Post #: 2
This may sound silly to the men in the group...but I had to learn the lock nuts are suppose to be tightened past the point of what seems to be the stopping point...thus "locking" the nut in place. And I had to learn that in order to do this requires the use of a socket wrench...which I also had to learn how to use. Use of a socket wrench and lock nuts may be one of those things that guys just are born knowing (kind of like how little boys seem to be born with the ability to make motor noises???).

I was quite proud of myself when I finally got all the lock nuts "locked"...and my kids are pretty happy they can use the new basketball hoop!
A former member
Post #: 102
Opening jars! LOL

But seriously, there wasn't much I had to specifically learn how to do really. It was mostly "man" stuff that I just didn't want to do (like painting rooms and hanging pictures, etc.) or things that I just hire people to do now like changing the oil or brake pads on my car.
A former member
Post #: 35
Laundry and sewing. I wanted to help my ex wife with laundry but screwed up a few times so I was banned from doing anything but towels! Now I do all laundry of course, but am really not sure I'm doing it right. I pretty much hang everything to dry so I don't skrink stuff. And for sewing I am totally helpless but think some day I'll take a class or something to learn some basic stuff. Its definitley seems like one of those things that doesn't come naturally to men.
A former member
Post #: 5
Had to learn to cut my own hair... Actually, I think I do a better job (not positive about the back thoughbiggrin).

We always shared all of the chores (except snow blowing and lawn mowing, which I always did). Then a couple of years ago I was between jobs and did everything, and things never evened back out when I went back to work, so chores-wise things are actually easier now.

I do get to make and keep my own social calendar now...
A former member
Post #: 104
Hey, if any guys want a sewing class I'd be willing to give one biggrin
A former member
Post #: 4
Hosing down the baby and handing her a fresh diaper.
user 10588499
Madison, WI
Post #: 13
Hosing down the baby and handing her a fresh diaper.

That one made me laugh! biggrin
user 10588499
Madison, WI
Post #: 14
Things like doing the bills (I did in college, but wasn't allowed to know or do them once I lived with him). Even when his mother tried to help and explained to him that if something should happen to him, I wouldn't know what to do, I still wasn't allowed to know finances. Although I am definitely smart enough to do bills, I just wasn't allowed to know our finances.... It was pretty scary filing for divorce when I didn't know what bills we had and if I could make it. I didn't even know about things like paying house taxes... But I filed for divorce anyway. When I filed, I had to call all the companies and tried to figure out what the bills would be monthly....and the ones I didn't know, I soon had to find out. Luckily my ex did tell me about the house taxes so I didn't miss it.

I will never allow myself to be in a situation again where I am not allowed to know finances. I was so independent prior to my ex, and I am glad to be independent again. As much as it would be nice to share things with someone, the important concept is that you are both involved....nobody is forced to be in the dark. Both people should be helping the other to have a sense of strength and partnership. Even if only one person does bills, the other person should be allowed to know what they are also. Financial things should not be kept a secret in a truly healthy relationship. My thoughts anyway....

user 8080883
Waunakee, WI
Post #: 20
My ex and I did not follow the traditional husband & wife roles. For example, I cut grass, snow blowed and took out the trash as much as he did, he did the cooking and I did the cleanup, we both did the laundry, housecleaning, etc.

Since my divorce, I had to learn how to:
1. Replace electrical outlets & light switches. I bought an older home and all of the plugs would fall out of the outlets, so I bought the outlets and light switches and replaced them. Luckily there was already a GFCI in the bathroom, so I just had to "follow the leader" on that one and it went OK. The kitchen was wired a little differently, so I asked him about it and he helped me figure it out but I did the work.
2. Do the taxes. We had income property, so he always did the taxes because they were a little complicated. I learned how to do these last year (with Tax Cut) and it went very well!

Next on my list is the computers. I know it sounds crazy - I work in IT and don't install the computers at home, but he always did it so I never learned how. I have a file server, desktop & laptop that I'm going to condense into a laptop with a large disk drive.
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