Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › Challenge: Say something good about your ex...

Challenge: Say something good about your ex...

Brad
user 9893415
Middleton, WI
Post #: 3
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He helped me make a beautiful child.

Anyone can make a beautiful child, it's what they do after that makes the difference.
Sara Watts
user 12452472
Baraboo, WI
Post #: 14
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Amen to that Brad!
He never cheated on me.
A former member
Post #: 17
My initial response to this post would be "something good about your ex" BUT I'm not going to do that, because I think many many people struggle with this. My ex "Renee" :) filed for Divorce. It crushed me. devastated me. I tried to hang on as long as I could. Wrong thing to do. As the Divorce progressed, anger, hate, and resentment grew where love once thrived. Then the moment came. About a month or two prior to my final court date. I wrote in my Journal (come on I know most of you have one too) "I forgive you Renee". The next day I e-mailed her "I forgive you Renee". The next day I called her and left a message "I forgive you Renee". The next time I saw her I said "I forgive you Renee". All of them I'm sure ignored. But that gave me the piece within to say.

I love Renee. She's not an "ex", she's the mother of my children. She's a great mom, she's a loving mom. I love everything she does and provides for them. That will never change, and I will never run from it. Renee will never be fully out of my life, nor will she ever be fully out of my heart. I just know I can never love her "like that" again. I have too much pride to let her hurt me ever again. There is nothing wrong with admitting you just were not right for each other.


So something good about Renee. I love her......not like that. AND I love that she never wore white pants!!!!!!
A former member
Post #: 2
Although there are a lot of negative feelings swirling around during a divorce, I still have positive things to say about my ex. I know he loves our kids with all his heart. He is very intelligent and well-spoken. He is kind. He has been decent and is trying his best to be fair during the divorce. He loved me and tried very hard to make our marriage work. I know he is committed to co-parenting our children and will do his best to put their needs first.

Wow, this is a bit harder than I thought it would be.
A former member
Post #: 35


Wow, this is a bit harder than I thought it would be.

I think you did great!!!! All those negative things go away.. eventually...hopefully.
A former member
Post #: 7
My ex-husband and I had a very collaborative (and extremely inexpensive ($200) divorce. Maybe we were just really good friends anyway but we have stayed friends (he is still one of my best friends). The first time he was in a serious relationship caused a bit of pain/jealousy. But, as a result of resisting fighting during divorce, our children received a lot of benefit from that - in terms of emotional stability and reduced financial burden on their parents. He and his significant other and I have all sat together at events and planned graduations and other things together. He will still help me out if something breaks my the household. He never says an ugly word about me to my kids or anyone - I have often been told he says very nice things about me. I am still connected to his family and even invited to join events with my own significant other (when I have one). It would be great if all situations were this way. I guess the only thing he is guilty of is wanting to be with someone else. And I had to get over that...
A former member
Post #: 1
It isn't difficult for me. Despite what happened, deep down she is a really good, warm caring person.
A former member
Post #: 60
Although there are a lot of negative feelings swirling around during a divorce, I still have positive things to say about my ex. I know he loves our kids with all his heart. He is very intelligent and well-spoken. He is kind. He has been decent and is trying his best to be fair during the divorce. He loved me and tried very hard to make our marriage work. I know he is committed to co-parenting our children and will do his best to put their needs first.

Wow, this is a bit harder than I thought it would be.

It doesn't show. You make him sound like a really great guy. But you know, you make yourself sound like an even greater person for doing so!
A former member
Post #: 61
My ex-husband and I had a very collaborative (and extremely inexpensive ($200) divorce. Maybe we were just really good friends anyway but we have stayed friends (he is still one of my best friends). The first time he was in a serious relationship caused a bit of pain/jealousy. But, as a result of resisting fighting during divorce, our children received a lot of benefit from that - in terms of emotional stability and reduced financial burden on their parents. He and his significant other and I have all sat together at events and planned graduations and other things together. He will still help me out if something breaks my the household. He never says an ugly word about me to my kids or anyone - I have often been told he says very nice things about me. I am still connected to his family and even invited to join events with my own significant other (when I have one). It would be great if all situations were this way. I guess the only thing he is guilty of is wanting to be with someone else. And I had to get over that...

I am jealous. I wish my hurt over the affair didn't escalate tension so much. My ex and I were supposed to do it like this but it really got out of control and went the wrong direction. I never wanted to fight but my hurt didn't have me in the place where I could talk her out of the lawyer route once she opened that door. There were a lot of third parties feeding the fight and it's really a shame. It's really great that you and your ex handled things so well.
A former member
Post #: 8
Todd - don't be jealous. The dating since divorce has been a nightmare!!! NOW I don't trust anyone. I was married for too long and did not really know what was out there. I was used to being able to trust so I was gullible in relationships Post-Divorce. That has really been a pain. So you will probably be better poised to not trust what you are told (in a new relationship) based on your recent experience. So instead of being worried about running into my ex-husband at events, I cringe at the thought of running into my last two boy-un-friends anywhere. Similar to one's fear of running into vampires.
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