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How I Almost Missed Finding My Mate!

Mary Jo Fay, RN, M...
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Group Organizer
Denver, CO
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Hey Savvy Singles,

Wednesday’S Meetup about Myths, Misunderstandings, and Misperceptions that cause us to MISS MATES is near and dear to my own heart. Why? Because I almost missed meeting my mate, Glen - a wonderful man I met last year on 11/11/11 - that lucky date! And we have been glued to the hip ever since.

It’s a long story but suffice it to say that had I seen his profile on Match I wouldn’t have given him a second look.

Why? Because I would have ruled him out due to things like the fact that we have different religions, he has kids that are still youngish, and had he listed his height and weight I probably would have said ... Hmmm - I like my man to be lean gym rats and his description would have probably been something like “a few extra pounds.” While I list myself as a bit of a gym rat, he does not.

So, the good thing is that we didn’t meet that way. We actually met through the Meetup profiles where you can say a little or a lot, see a pic or two, and perhaps see what other groups one belongs to. There is no template you have to fill out listing all those details we latch on to when reading someone’s profile on Match or Plenty of Fish.

I actually saw his photo on one of the Meetup reminders where you’re reminded that your meeting is coming, and displays the photos of those signed up to attend.

And, in fact, he had very little on his profile at all. But what he did have caught my eye - he had been to Costa Rica and had loved it so much he dreamed of finding a mate who might like to open a business there with him! Now while that might seem strange to you, I (having lived and worked in Cozumel, Mexico for 6 months a few years ago) was excited! I’d loved my time in the tropics and would certainly consider it again. But it also was a key motivator that this man and I had something very much in common in our love for the Caribbean and a bit of a sense of adventure!

Now we haven’t made plans to start this new adventure yet, although we did visit Cozumel in July so that we could see what other possibilities are out there. And no - we don’t have any plans to be heading there to live just yet. And maybe we never will. But in the meantime we’re having a great time and enjoying each other’s company. And all those things I was worried about (religion, kids, gym ratted-ness) have not proven to be a problem at all!

But I also want to tell you about yet another way I could have missed out on this great relationship ...What might that be? A rather “so-so” first date.

How many of you have been on a first date that simply didn’t light your rocket? And as such, you never went out with that person again?

Well, you’ve got to remember that sometimes on that first date, people are nervous. They’re not themselves. They do dumb stuff, like maybe talk too much or not enough. Or maybe they’ve got salad greens between their teeth the whole time. Or perhaps their teeth aren’t very white. There are so many things that can make a first date cumbersome! In Glen’s case, he just talked, and talked, and talked! He told me later he was terribly nervous as he hadn’t dated in forever and he didn’t want to “blow it.”

I went home thinking how frustrated I was that I didn’t get too many words into the conversation, but I really thought he was a kind, down-to earth kinda guy. I guessed perhaps he was a bit nervous, since he’d shared with me that he’d been out of circulation for a while. And so - I agreed to have lunch with him the next day as well.

And guess what? He started asking ME questions about my life! Yep - he’d relaxed and didn’t feel that he had to fill every pregnant pause with conversation. And the relationship began!

So the moral of this story is that I could have missed the greatest guy I’ve dated in ages if I’d stuck to my belief system of dating. If my mis-perceptions made me move on too quickly. If my “list” of must-haves in a mate stayed carved in stone.

Might you be making some of these mistakes?

Come to Wednesday’s Meetup and find out.

It might change the way you date forever.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find your perfect mate too!

Here’s your link to learn more and to attend:­

REMEMBER WE ARE AT OUR NEW LOCATION AT TOBY KEITH’S I LOVE THIS BAR AND GRILL IN NORTHFIELD (the old Stapleton area near I-70 and Quebec.) Check the Meetup link for more details. And tell the hostesses at the door that you're with the Meetup group, as we will be in the enclosed patio room towards the back.

Remember - as always, the official meeting goes from 7 - 9 but folks start arriving at 6 to grab a bit to eat and start “rubbing elbows” with other singles. And now, if you light a spark with someone, you can stay and have that drink together to see if the sparks keep flying! No one’s going to chase you out at 9PM as we have had to deal with in the past.

We have over 60 folks signed up, so it should make for lively exchanges and chemistry possibilities, so don’t miss out!

Your fearless leader,

Mary Jo Fay


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