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Why is there a gap between ideals and behaviour?

Hi all,

At last month's meetup, when discussing how we determine right from wrong, it became clear from some of the discussion that even when a sound basis for the "right" course of action is arrived at, sometimes our behaviours struggle to live up to our philosophical ideals.  Why is this?  In other words:

Why is there a gap between ideals and behaviour?

We will be meeting to discuss this question in the upstairs section of the Long Stone from 7:15pm with conversation starting at 7:30pm.

For anyone interested in grabbing some food and a drink beforehand, a few of us usually meet downstairs from about 6:45pm.

We look forward to seeing you there and then,

Paul & Roy

Note: as you might have noticed, we will now be hosting Socrates Cafe on the 3rd Tuesday the month. The next meetup after this one will take place on the 3rd Tuesday in September, September 17th.


Socrates Café a space where ideas and dialogue can flourish

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  • Vidy

    Sorry guys! Missed it this month :(

    July 18, 2013

  • Dex

    I found a friendly wwlcoming crowd to indulge my desire for interesting conversatuon. I found the whole evening wekl good and then after went to see a powerfuk musician/ singer play - all in an almost ideal way to spend a tuesday evening ;-)

    July 18, 2013

  • deborah b.

    Yet another enjoyable and enlightening evening of Socratic discussion. Held in an atmosphere of mutual respect and enthusiasm for hearing diverse opinions. might I dare to suggest that in and of itself this event attemped to bridge the. gap! Or at the very least allow up the space to acknowledge the gap

    July 18, 2013

  • deborah b.

    Yet another enjoyable and enlightening evening of Socratic discussion. Held in an atmosphere of mutual respect and enthusiasm for hearing diverse opinions. might I dare to suggest that in and of itself this event attemped to bridge the. gap! Or at the very least allow up the space to acknowledge the gap

    1 · July 18, 2013

  • Sean F.

    very enjoyable!

    July 17, 2013

  • elizabeth

    really enjoyed the night thanks to everyone that was there

    July 17, 2013

  • Jennifer O.

    It was brilliant. I didn't know what to expect, and being my first time I felt really welcomed. Really well organised. Great conversation; it was a fascinating evening, thought provoking and wonderfully calm and friendly. I will definitely look forward to the next one.

    2 · July 17, 2013

  • Meetup Mary :.

    I had a really great time attending my first Socrates cafe discussion this evening and I look forward to the next one. Apologies for having to leave a little earlier than I would have liked, but I had other arrangements I needed to fulfil.
    Thanks again, Ciara (the 'meetup mary' is for purely alliteration purposes) :)

    July 17, 2013

  • Richard

    Great bang for the buck.

    V. enjoyable conversation at table 1.

    July 17, 2013

  • Sean P.

    I'm very sorry but I can't attend tonight. I look forward to the next one, however.

    July 16, 2013

  • Ash

    what are ideals? moral behavior?? ideals shouldn't be too big

    July 16, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    so sorry, something has just come up so I won't be able to attend later this evening

    July 16, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Hi!

    July 16, 2013

  • Elva

    I associate ideals more with values than with needs. The gap between ideals and behaviour possibly being our humanity and all that goes with it...needs, defense mechanisms...etc. Where do you guys feel values fit in...does Anthony Robbins have any words of wisdom to say about values?

    July 14, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      What about society influencing values/ideals of the individual.....and also the other way round...individuals trying to influence society. No (wo)man is an island. Elva, the more that ideals are associated with values rather than needs depends on the economic position of the individual/society. We develop loftier ideals the more we are protected from lifes troubles such as starvation or unemployment.

      1 · July 15, 2013

    • Elva

      Yes I get what you are saying Jeanne, if you don't have your basic needs covered then ideals/values are not going to be on your radar. However I mediate separating couples/families in areas of dublin characterised by unemployment and social problems and even where people are struggling to make ends meet the relationship breakdown is often as a result of a difference in deeply held values - family or otherwise..... The quotes from Awaken the Giant Within are useful ways of thinking about values - thanks.

      July 15, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I'd love to attend this particularly interesting discussion. [masked]

    July 15, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      Be careful with your phone number Niamh! You dont know who might call you! ;)

      July 15, 2013

  • Julie

    Hope to catch the next one guys, Enjoy!

    July 15, 2013

  • Jenni

    Unfortunately won't be in Dublin on Tues. Looking forward to August meeting for my initiation.

    July 14, 2013

  • Eoin B.

    An interesting choice of question. It deals with an internal problem rather than an interpersonal dynamic. The last question dealt with rules of conduct in society. I would say this one leans very much towards psychology and is a lot more black and white.

    July 9, 2013

    • Eoin B.

      AH, I never met a happy social worker. I am studying counselling and psychotherapy at the moment.

      The most satisfying explanation I've encountered re this question comes from Anthony Robbins. He said it is because all our actions meet one or more of our needs. I believe awareness of the range of human needs is quite essential to understanding this question more fully.

      July 11, 2013

    • A former member
      A former member

      I wasnt training to be a Social Worker....but a Policy Advisor....Our ideals come from our perception of our needs alright...but behaviour is what happens when our needs clash (or not) with others ideals.

      July 13, 2013

  • Meetup Mary :.

    I hope to bridge the gap between my ideal desire to attend this meet-up by behaving in such a way as to ensure I will attend. See you there! :)

    1 · July 12, 2013

  • Sean P.

    Looking forward to it!

    July 11, 2013

  • wanderlust

    See you all then :)

    July 11, 2013

  • deborah b.

    This will be an interesting topic. looking forward to exploring the gap and what the conversation unveils. Always wondered what was meant by 'mind the gap' .... Perhaps I'll find out or perhaps not!

    1 · July 11, 2013

  • Cathal G.

    Sounds like a good one see you then!!

    July 10, 2013

  • Vidy

    No meetup in August?

    July 10, 2013

    • Roy

      No meetup in August, a holiday for all.

      July 10, 2013

  • Elva

    I might be a bit delayed but will get there at some stage...

    July 10, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    Sorry folks. Enjoyed it last month but was not sure it was going on through summer and committed myself for the 16th. Look forward to catching up soon

    July 9, 2013

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