addressalign-toparrow-leftarrow-rightbackbellblockcalendarcameraccwcheckchevron-downchevron-leftchevron-rightchevron-small-downchevron-small-leftchevron-small-rightchevron-small-upchevron-upcircle-with-checkcircle-with-crosscircle-with-pluscrossdots-three-verticaleditemptyheartexporteye-with-lineeyefacebookfolderfullheartglobegmailgooglegroupshelp-with-circleimageimagesinstagramFill 1linklocation-pinm-swarmSearchmailmessagesminusmoremuplabelShape 3 + Rectangle 1ShapeoutlookpersonJoin Group on CardStartprice-ribbonShapeShapeShapeShapeImported LayersImported LayersImported Layersshieldstartickettrashtriangle-downtriangle-uptwitteruserwarningyahoo

Romance and Money

"We agreed to meet for drinks before lunch at the hotel bar. When the time came to move to the dining room, my date placed two quarters on the bar as a tip for the bartender. I knew then and there that he and I were not going to be spending romantic time together in the future."

How we handle money is a peek into the inner workings of the value we place on money. It also shows how we value those around us. Credit cards can give the illusion that we may or may not have money. How does a romantic dinner billed to a credit card feel when the actual dinner is paid for 45 days later? In the interaction of romance, a smile or a frown may indicate a mood. Leaving a low tip gave me a glimpse into a possibly stingy character. Stingy with the waiter may also play out to stingy in the bedroom.

What is the first money that you remember having as a child? Where did you get it and what did you do with it? Do you still have your first dollar? Would you buy a gift for your mother but not for your love interest? Would you divulge how much credit card debt you have to you partner? How much money do you make? Would my date have left a larger tip if the bartender had been a female? What does your money say about you?

Join or login to comment.

  • Jean S.

    Great conversation! Excellent participation...

    July 9, 2013

  • Betty

    This was my first Meetup ever. I know I didn't say much but I was taking in what everyone was presenting and I found it very enjoyable. I didn't know it didn't have and "ending time". What time does the group usually wind down. It would be nice when there are newcomers to talk a little how the group works and anything else that everyone else knows. I found the group very thought provoking and it brought up some questions about myself to ponder.

    July 8, 2013

    • CJ F.

      Betty, there is no standard meeting end time. Most of the meetups "naturally" end after 2 hours. Most of the content will typically occur in the first 2 hours. Many people leave around the 2 hour point.

      Sometimes the content is rich enough that even at hour 3, we are still going strong. By hour 3 the conversation has become unfocused. There is often a handful of people who will linger for 3 hours. Occasionally, a small contingent will hang out for 4 or even 6 hours.

      Since we meet in public spaces, you are welcome to stay or leave at any time. People on the waiting list might prefer that if you cannot stay for at least an hour that you open space for someone else by changing your RSVP (or let us know so we can promote someone from the waiting list knowing that the overcrowding will be brief). As organizers our main concern is that we don't have too many people so that hearing becomes too difficult. Otherwise we'd be happy for everyone to participate whenever and however they like.

      July 8, 2013

    • Betty

      Thank you for this. After I got a feel for the group and noticed no one was "wrapping things up" I kind of thought that was the case. I look forward to participating in many interesting topics.

      July 9, 2013

  • Leah H.

    wonderful nice to know thst some people think love in all its forms still exist

    July 8, 2013

  • Will B.

    When I first heard the title of this meet up I was afraid it would turn out like an educated version of the "Dr. Phil" show. Happily, I was wrong. From the first, it was one of the most enjoyable meetings I've attended.

    July 7, 2013

  • van w.

    sorry I was coming back from out of town, Ill get next one.
    www.recruiters-biz.org non-profit for families. Van Woolley,[masked]

    July 7, 2013

  • Peter

    Thanks! I'll be there!

    July 6, 2013

  • Peter

    Thank you, Liliya! I'd love to thank you in person Sunday, but alas, I'm still on the waiting list!

    Peter

    July 5, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I don't think anyone hit the real button yet: If its a date male or female or if it is a relationship leading to "nowhere" we as people want good looks and the other person putting out more than we do. It's just human nature. The real question is when and how does it change to giving, time, money and energy. Money is just one part of the "give". I know a lot of men/women that would give A LOT of MONEY not to ever see their -in-laws again. When does the other person become "worth IT; whatever that it is?

    July 5, 2013

  • Peter

    My very first dollar (literally) as a child was an American one dollar bill my father gave me when he got back from the war. I was born in December 1945 and he got back in 1946.) Of course I don't remember getting it, but I still have it.

    1 · July 5, 2013

  • Will B.

    I hope that we will be able to reflect on the "role of wealth, large or small, " in our daily lives, self perceptions, evaluation of others as well as how do we define "romance vs. love" and the theme and realities regarding our perceptions of others as "lovable" and their relative economic status. In relation to Sidney's remark-what is responsible for our sense of need for stimulation vs. a sense of being just simply and happily "engaged" in living.

    July 5, 2013

  • Jean S.

    First question will be - What was the first money that you had as a child and what did you do with it?

    July 5, 2013

  • Liliya S.

    I think, that romance has nothing to do with money. Romance is relates to poetry, cruners, flowers. A date can be absolutely without expensive restaurants, as good marriage can be without a diamond.
    I am working every Sunday, so sorry!
    "I write you, and my act is serving
    As my confession. Why say more?
    I know of what I am deserving -
    That you should scorn me, or ignore.
    But for my wretched fate preserving
    A drop of pity, you'll forebear
    To give me over to despair."(A.S Pushkin)

    July 2, 2013

  • Betty

    How money relates to romance is very different than it was 40 years ago. I would never even consider the idea of paying anything for a date. It was expected that the male pay. What the problem was with that is that you never felt comfortable ordering what you want for fear it would be to expensive or look "bad." The equality of individuals today has put a different spin on romance and money and I am curious to hear how it is perceived. Leaving a low tip would definitely be "strike one."

    1 · July 2, 2013

  • Peter

    I'll be there, weather permitting. I hate parking in Philly (even on Sundays!), so I plan to take Patco to 16th and Locust and walk up to Arch from there. I'll keep checking the long-range forecast and I should be able to confirm one way or another by Friday.

    I'm looking forward to it!

    Peter

    July 2, 2013

  • Liliya S.

    Just in case if it will be second meetup on Saturday

    July 1, 2013

  • Liliya S.

    I will work this Sunday. Sorry. It is an exciting topic.

    July 1, 2013

  • Linda C.

    It is very telling of your date's character how they choose to spend money. Does the outward display of material items demonstrate actual cash flow or debt. This is what I am specializing in my practice as money conflicts are the number 1 cause of divorce.

    July 1, 2013

  • Charlotte W.

    Sounds like an exciting topic

    July 1, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    HI Randy, here is my take on couples with very different incomes:
    During my marriage of 6 years my husband paid the mortgage and I paid for the food and the cleaning lady. We both paid our own insurance and car expenses. The mortgage was about the same % of his income as the food and cleaning lady was of my income. It was fair and the only thing we never disagreed about. :) I think fair % is key not an exact $ figure.

    July 1, 2013

  • Tony

    Never flaunt money or tell a new date you have money...why attract closet prostitutes?

    1 · June 28, 2013

  • Chelsea R.

    Can't do Sundays

    June 28, 2013

  • Betty

    I have a very poor relationship with money. I don't like it or like to think about it. I am a spender and don't tend to look at prices if I want something. I am by no means near wealthy but consider myself confortable. I would be much more comfortable if I had a better relationship to money. Much of my spending I believe to be emotional.

    June 25, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    (How does the 'Eastern' view of money differ from the 'West'?)(What's the best way for a couple each of whom make very different salaries, to manage money?)

    June 17, 2013

16 went

People in this
Meetup are also in:

Sign up

Meetup members, Log in

By clicking "Sign up" or "Sign up using Facebook", you confirm that you accept our Terms of Service & Privacy Policy