Well gang, it’s that time of year again! The elves and I have been busy planning this year’s shenanigans and things are looking good. We had a confirmed Santa-count last year of 400+ so let’s see if we can break the record this year.
If this is your first Santacon, allow me to give you the Lowdown for the Ho-down:
Santacon is an international, non-denominational, non-commercial, non-political and non-sensical Santa Claus convention that occurs once a year for absolutely no reason.
SantaCon event is for adults - where guys & girls of legal age dress up like Santa and go cavorting around town for no better reason than that it's huge fun.
We will begin the festivities at 7:00 PM at Tiki's Bar & Grill and then make our way through Waikiki spreading cheer and sampling libations. Here is our exact route:
7:30 to 8:30 Tiki’s Grill & Bar -- 2570 Kalakaua Avenue
8:30-9:00 Parade of Santas to Jimmy Buffet’s
9:00-10:00 Jimmy Buffet’s -- 2300 Kalakaua Avenue
10:00 Moose’s with overflow to Kelly O’Neils and Yardhouse.
Santacon is a rain-or-shine event, so if it looks like rain, bring an umbrella. Also, comfortable shoes would be a very good idea.
Gosh that sounds like fun! How do I get ready, you ask?
There is a dress code, it is Santa. You must dress up. A Santa hat is not enough. Buy a Santa suit. Borrow a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you’re not into Santa go with Sexy Mrs. Claus, Buddy the Elf, one of the Ho-Ho-Hoes, a Christmas Tree, Donny the Dancing Dreidel. Whatever floats your candy cane. Just don’t wear your street clothes and a hat. Check out the wall photos if you need inspiration.
The first rule of Santa Con is that we do not talk about Santa Con. Memorize the following responses to common questions.
Q: Who’s in charge? -- Santa
Q: Who are you with? -- Santa
Q: What’s this about? -- Ask Santa, he’s over there.
Santa acts like Santa: Be fun, be jolly, let people sit on your lap. Ho-Ho-Ho it up.
Do not mess with or otherwise freak out kids. Seriously. Say Hi and give them a nice toy and a happy smile. Go ahead and mess with adults all you like.
Bring Cash: Don’t make your bartender try to run a tab for 200 guys dressed like Santa. Keeping it cash-only all night will save you headaches. Be sure to tip your bartenders and the fetching bar-maids.
Stuff your Sack: Bring gifts. NICE gifts for Kids, NAUGHTY gifts for grown-ups. We’re all about spreading Holliday cheer while having a good time. Candy, condoms and lube, little toys and fun crap to hand out to all the non-Santas.
Cabs: We’re all mostly adults and know how stupid drunk driving is. Driving drunk while wearing a Santa suit is just asking to get pulled over. Cab it or get someone else to fly the sleigh.