Fed up of socialising? Fed up of all of those people out there on meetup who want to meet new people?
Well, in that case, join up to meet others similar to you.
Meetups are announced really late in the hopes that no one turns up and your organiser can just have a quiet evening contemplating their achievements. All meetups will be disastrously organised, often meeting in areas of great social conflict or war torn countries.
They can end as suddenly as they begin and with as little warning, so pay attention. You will almost certainly be the one left thinking "where's everyone gone?" even though the meetup is in a really tightly enclosed space with only one entrance/exit - and it will be your own fault for not paying attention. You will also be deafened by blisteringly loud music, which you also should not complain about. This meetup is best suited for
- old unproffessionals<br> - people who don't like chocolate but still have a little bit "cos it came with the bill"<br> - people who only like to answer questions<br> - paralysingly socially anxious people<br> - people who arrive in their little cliques of three and refuse to split up then complain that no one talked to them<br> - people who are incredibly frustrated by their own lack of a sense of direction<br> - people who are indecisive and unable to follow direction<br> - people with absolutely no confidence but somehow have good jobs so you can buy the organiser a drink<br> - people who find they are most comfortable when standing on the outside of a group, staring in, holding a drink and never drinking<br> - people who decide every other day that today will be the first day of their lives and then bottle it at the last moment<br> - people who are passionate about the sanctity of life of bacteria<br> - conspiracy theorists<br> - members of the House of Lords<br> - people who's stories only ever begin with "one time I was so totally drunk and I..."<br> - people with a sense of humour