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RE: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

From: Randall
Sent on: Saturday, January 28, 2012 5:05 PM

Here’s the problem Kate. You started this conversation by painting the entire group with a broad brush implying that everyone who attended were drunks, who could not have a good time without drinking.  You based this on the fact that EVERY EVENT was at a pub or tavern and that you would not feel comfortable attending in these environments.

 

The issue is you did not look at the history of meet ups with this group, nor did you attend an event to determine who your audience was.

 

I am relatively new to meet up, and therefore to this group, however if I click on the “past events” link on the group page on meet up what I find is, yes there are a number of happy hour event, however a majority of the events are held at restaurants like Zorba’s, red’s porch, chuys, carrinos and others.  The next thing I see is a number of events that are held at bars, with the express purpose of seeing a band and/or dancing. Like dysfunction junction at baker street, and several bands the contential club.  Then coming in third are the happy hours.  I also see where the group has gone to movies, gone on hikes and many other things.

 

I can say that at EVERY event I attended there have been a number of people who drank water, soda and tea. NO ONE has ever been given a hard time or in any way ousted because they did not drink. The truth is that is a personal choice; if you don’t want to drink, don’t drink.   I can also say I have not seen anyone who drank too much. 

 

Do we HAVE to have a drink to have fun, absolutely not! Do we meet at places where alcohol is served, yes most of the time.  Is that all they serve, NEVER.  Do we usually go to places that are restaurants and oh by the way serve alcohol, yes.

 

Here’s the bottom line.  If you don’t want to come to the events, don’t come.  If you want to give it a shot and actually meet the people before painting us all with a broad brush, come on.

 

I would recommend that if you are going to write an email to a group of people you don’t know, you might want to read it over before sending it.  Your original email may not have been intended to insult anyone but it did just that, you insulted a large group of people without finding out who they were.  I hope you will take time to come and meet us at one of our restaurant outings or any of the other meetings.

 

Even if you don’t come to our meet up I hope you do find a group that meets your needs there are more than 1,300 meet up groups in the Austin area. You do not have to attend all of them and you do not have to attend that is not comfortable to you.

 

Randall

 

From: [address removed] [mailto:[address removed]] On Behalf Of Kate
Sent: Saturday, January 28,[masked]:38 PM
To: [address removed]
Subject: RE: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

 

All I wanted is some answer to a question I had... not to debate, not to insult, not to attack... Why do you have to be mean???

 

Kate


Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour
To: [address removed]
From: [address removed]
Date: Sat, 28 Jan[masked]:24:00 -0500

Thank you Jeffrey. As a "graduate" of UT Law School's Conflict and Resolution Seminar, I applaud you for taking the high road. So what does "community" mean to the group? I think that's initially what Kate was asking. Clearly you're a s austin community that enjoys meeting everywhere for just about anything. That's my impression. Do you want to be more defined? How so?

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


From: jeffrey solomon <[address removed]>

Sender: [address removed]

Date: Sat, 28 Jan[masked]:11:05 -0500

To: <[address removed]>

ReplyTo: [address removed]

Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

 

Joan,

 

This group was originally created by some married women who wanted to get out of the house.  By and large they are not in the group any more.  Personally, I take the word platonic as not being used literally but as meaning safe to have the experience that you want.  My guess is that most people in this group do not feel obligated to any word that is in the group name---except maybe friends and fun.

 

Jeffrey

 

PS.  Everybody has a different conception of what just about every Meetup group means to them.  Just because one member wrote a provocative email---with words that could easily be construed as an attack on other group members---shouldn't keep us from fufilling what I see is the main mission of this and all Meetups, which would be to strengthen our interpersonal connections and create community.

 

Jeffrey

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Joan Brook <[address removed]>
To: SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun-list <[address removed]>
Sent: Sat, Jan 28,[masked]:40 pm
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

Really? Who're you kidding? Any of the guys want to chime in? You go to these parties to play board games, bowl, and hope to meet girls who just want to be friends.....Right!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


From: Heidi Kelley <[address removed]>

Sender: [address removed]

Date: Sat, 28 Jan[masked]:31:44 -0500

To: <[address removed]>

ReplyTo: [address removed]

Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

 

Well, Joan, now you have gone and opened up another can of worms!  Our group is from South Austin and is a platonic group not a dating group! 

Thanks for the conversation Joan and I wish you well.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Regards,
Heidi

 
 


--- On Sat, 1/28/12, Joan Brook <[address removed]> wrote:


From: Joan Brook <[address removed]>
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour
To: [address removed]
Date: Saturday, January 28, 2012, 8:00 AM

Well, in that case, I succumb. I don't live in S. Austin, I'm ready to date with 1 committed partner, and I love sex!  Bye, y'all! :-)  

-----Original Message-----
From: Karen Palmer <[address removed]>
To: southaustin-friends-and-fun-list <[address removed]>
Sent: Sat, Jan 28,[masked]:13 am
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

Very well said Wayne.

 


From: Wayne <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Friday, January 27,[masked]:09 PM
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

 

Hi Kate,

 

While I am sympathetic to your situation and understand your comments I hope you won't misunderstand mine, and I speak strictly for myself.  When you accept a friend, you hopefully don't put conditions on them.  We meet as adults who usually enjoy an adult beverage while engaging in conversation.  We make the assumption that everyone will act responsibly and know their limits when it comes to alcohol.  If you know your limit to be zero then good for you.  I do however resent you imposing your morality and genetic predisposition for addition on our group.

 

There are hundreds of meetups in the greater Austin area, many of which are primarily involved in spiritual pursuits, athletics, woman's support groups and so on.  With all due respect, if you don't feel comfortable coming to where we meet or being around us when we drink, why are you complaining about it?  Just find a group that goes where you are comfortable, enjoy the menu there and converse about whatever you have in common with those people. 

 

I for one don't feel guilty about any of this.  Yours is the same sentiment that brought on Prohibition, another failed attempt at legalized morality by the way.  While I welcome alternative viewpoints and enjoy a good debate, frankly it doesn't sound like we have much in common except being in south Austin and the desire to be platonic friends.  Personally, I don't want you to come between me and my friends who I like just the way they are.

 

Please feel free to join us, or suggest alternative activities, but don't deride us for what we are doing.

 

Thanks just the same,

Wayne

 

 

 

In a message dated 1/27/2012 5:11:36 P.M. Central Standard Time, [address removed] writes:

Yes! I tried to ride with the Critical Mass groupies, but always ended up stopping to talk to the patrol officers who were chasing them.  This might be more my style!


 

 


From: Joan Brook <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Fri, January 27,[masked]:33:30 PM
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

Thanks Mike! You gave me just the motivation I needed! Be watching soon, folks, for the new Meetup group, A Vote for Austin Clean Air. My goal is to chart a course where everyone either bikes or rides a bus together to set locations. If interested, hit reply and I'll set it up! Joan

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


From: Mike Miller <[address removed]>

Sender: [address removed]

Date: Fri, 27 Jan[masked]:04:00 -0500

To: <[address removed]>

ReplyTo: [address removed]

Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

 

Very good reply, Leticia! There are far fewer leaders than followers, but it's easy to change. I am a member of several meetup groups, and I simply say what, where, when, how, ....and I go do what I want to. Most times, people join me: Sometimes, it's just me doing something  I enjoy. And sometimes the response is overwhelming!

For those of you who have never tried this, try it soon. It might open up a whole new world for you, like it did for me.


Mike

 


From: Leticia <[address removed]>
To: [address removed]
Sent: Fri, January 27,[masked]:35:19 AM
Subject: Re: [SouthAustin-Friends-and-Fun] Drinking and Happy hour

Hello All --

 

For my own reasons, I am not comfortable in these places as well, but I thought I'd mention a few points that haven't been discussed. These kind of places might not be a good place for people who are recovering alcoholics, trying to watch what they eat, cannot afford to eat out a lot, etc. 

 

There, is however, a solution. 

 

One of the great things about this particular meet up group, is that anyone can place on the schedule a meet-up. So, for example, if I want to go walking on a Wednesday morning, I can put a date/time/place scheduled meet-up there and others can join me. Likewise, if I put one an hour later that says, "Breakfast at Kerby Lane" others can join that as well. 

 

There have been meet-ups for this group that include hiking, bowling, happy hours, and movie watching. Lately, the 'happy hour' group has been scheduling meet-ups, but that is not keeping others from doing likewise with their date/time/place/interest. 

 

So, if you'd like to see other meet-ups that don't involve drinking, may I suggest scheduling one about one to two weeks ahead of time and see who joins you. 

 

Thanks, 

Leticia

 

 

On Jan 26, 2012, at 2:44 PM, Kate wrote:

 

Hay Ya'll

 

Not to be condescending, but I would really like to know way so many of you feel you have to Drink to have a good time? I do not drink of any kind, and I can have a good time without drinking. I would love to join you all some social things. But since I do not drink, I don't feel comfortable join you at bars and taverns.

 

Sincerely,

 

Kate





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