I wanted to start a group in the Chicago area to deal with, process and find mutual support for the incredible pain, bewilderment and confusion that comes from an adult child who decides they want to be estranged. I am the mother of a 29 year old daughter and grandma to her two beautiful boys. We were quite good until I divorced her dad. He played the victim (even though he was abusive behind closed doors, only to me) and she feel hook, line and sinker. We had a pretty close relationship right up until she was 21 and I left her dad. Over the past 8 years I have done anything and everything to show her how much I love and care about her and her family. Walking on eggshells constantly and knowing that the divide was growing deeper with every year due to my ex’s very successful attempts at at Parental Alienation. He punished me for leaving him by turning my daughter against me. I’m heartbroken. I’m not allowed to see my grand babies and that breaks my heart every single day since we were so connected. My hope in starting this group is to create a community support groups for moms and dads just like me who know full well that they were AWESOME parents. I cannot and am not qualified to open this up to anyone who abused their child and has since been estranged.
At these meetups, which I am happy to host at my home in Oak Park, we can meet and just talk about our journey on this unimaginable path. I haven’t seen any groups like this in the Chicago area and sometimes online forums, books, etc. can help. But I also know from firsthand experience how alone you feel in a situation like this. Friends don’t get it, family doesn’t get it; it’s assumed you must have done something wrong. There’s shock, sadness, confusion, disbelief, numbness and incredible loneliness in walking this road. I just want to be able to create a place where you don’t feel so alone in this.