Hometown: San Marcos
August 18, 2014
Obviously when I want to see a terrible movie I hop on over to Syfy/SciFi/whatever they are now for an easy laugh (My current favorite is Ghost Shark - he's a shark ghost! That kills people in the shower! And waits for kids at the other end of Slip-n-Slides!) But sometimes you really have to search for a hidden gem. Birdemic? The Room? Nah, take me to Netflix and show me the lowest-rated movies. There's gold in them thar schlockfests.
One time my friends and I found a movie on Netflix called Poultrygeist. It marketed itself as a movie about a chicken ghost that was taking over a fried chicken fast food restaurant, seemed innocent enough on the surface. But then the characters started SINGING. We were so lost and confused, but we stuck with it. The main character was a skinny nerd trying to reconnect with his ex who was now a lesbian feminist animal rights activist, the ancient Indian burial ground where they first made love was under a chicken fast food chain, one of the cooks was an offensive Islamic/Jihadist stereotype in a head-to-toe burqua named Hummus (who was, SPOILERS, revealed to be a super-hot later), and musical numbers with dancing throughout. It was TRYING to be so-bad-it's-good, but in the end that was Poultrygeist's greatest folly. In the end, it made the viscous circle back around to being bad. To date, it's the worst, most painful, most hellacious movie I have ever seen.
I'm an artist and graphic designer from San Marcos who loves bad movies!