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Are you alone or lonely?

  • Feb 16, 2014 · 6:00 PM

Valentine's Day is always a bit fraught for me. In a time of the year when intimate relationships are celebrated and being alone is frowned upon, I can't help but be torn over whether I am happier being alone, or unhappier being lonely. (read this for more insight)

How do you delineate the differences between being alone and being lonely? Is there some noble veneer to being a loner, but does it deny your desire for companionship? Does that mean having a warm body at your side, or can a computer sufficiently act the part (as in the movie "Her" or, to comic effect in "Sleeper")? And what are the implications of society's attitude toward being alone? Consider things like the hermit, solitary confinement, sensory deprivation tanks, disaffected youth, etc.

I suspect we represent all states of solitude, and it would be fascinating to explore them in a discussion over some IHOP food at our favorite hangout. I, for one, don't expect to have any plans for this Valentine's weekend, so join me for a much-needed round of Deep Thinking.

Hope to see you there!

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  • Batsheva D.

    It was very satisfying (yes satisfying) to meet with others and to discuss things that are heartfelt to everyone, but which few of would ever admit to in front of strangers or even most of our friends.

    February 21, 2014

  • Joyce

    I look forward to meeting for future discussions.

    February 18, 2014

  • Todd K.

    Another viewpoint of the role of artificial companions:
    http://www.kcrw.com/news/programs/tp/tp140217the_world_of_robots_

    February 17, 2014

  • lacette

    Loved the experience. I'm looking forward to the next one.

    February 17, 2014

  • Stephen F.

    Todd, excellent topic and you moderated well. I also liked the venue. Good parking, food wasn't bad and it came out surprisingly warm despite such a big order. I have been to higher end restaurants and received far worse service. Thanks to all for an insightful evening.

    3 · February 17, 2014

  • Larry S.

    I would give it s "6" if allowed!!

    February 16, 2014

  • Doug N.

    Excellent subject matter for a group of predominantly single Deep Thinkers

    February 16, 2014

  • malcolm

    I have posted the WSJ Article on Alone and Loneliness in the Files Section: On the menu under "Deep Thinkers", choose More and then Files.
    Malcolm
    Meetup.com/NLP-LA[masked]

    February 16, 2014

  • francine

    I had something come up at the last minute and couldn't make it. Sorry for the last minute cancellation.

    February 16, 2014

  • Gladys

    Sorry, can't make it after all.

    February 16, 2014

  • John G.

    February 16, 2014

  • Sue

    Hi I'm going sailing today. Not sure if I will be back in time to make it. I will try.

    February 16, 2014

    • Todd K.

      I'm envious!

      February 16, 2014

    • George

      I am too--unless, of course, you're sailing alone!

      February 16, 2014

  • Todd K.

    Something to read for the Meetup:
    "'I would rather have had the worst companion than no companion at all,' he noted."
    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/03/30/090330fa_fact_gawande

    February 15, 2014

  • dori

    Hi, I love your topics and would love to participate, but its a really long trek from the OC. I was wondering if there's any chance to join the discussion by phone? Thanks.

    February 11, 2014

    • dori

      PS. Not so far from Long Beach, if that might be an alternate meeting venue sometime. Dori

      February 14, 2014

    • Todd K.

      Let me know if you know of any restaurants with a private room for 25 people. I'll keep looking myself.

      February 14, 2014

  • Brian

    interesting topic, but I have an event conflict...

    February 14, 2014

  • Anthia A.

    I'd like to join you but that 405 is a killer, thanks for the reminder Sherri. I moved to Valencia! Pertinent topic.

    February 11, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I will be at another event and it will be about 6:30ish. Will this be okay? Is the discussion going to go on atleast till 8pm?

    February 9, 2014

    • Todd K.

      That should be fine. We will likely go well past 8 PM.

      February 9, 2014

  • Susan

    I won't be alone - but may feel a little lonely.

    1 · February 9, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    Out of town guests. Enjoy

    February 9, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I always enjoy dinner with this interesting group of people. Great conversation. Thank you for organizing Todd

    February 9, 2014

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