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"Friends First" FUN Friends Group Message Board › The responces that I got to SEEDS OF WIDOM

The responces that I got to SEEDS OF WIDOM

Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 104
If you would like to read the responses from Seeds, please scroll down. The latest responses are on the last page.

Thanks to those of you that contribute!
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 105
Fena,

This is very inspiring. I lost my husband 3 years ago. Not quite as young as you were. I was 50 and he was 53. To add more grief, I had lost my son 4 years prior to loosing my husband also to heart problems as my husband. I am struggling to get past the fact that I have to have someone in my life. I was married for 34 years when my husband past. I know no better. I have no self confidence in myself what so ever. I am seeing a couple of dr's an am on meds. I have a lot of friends, however now that I am single so to say , we do not have that much in common. I do want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, however I think i am going about it the wrong way. I look forward to your aspiring input.


Thank you,
********



MY RESPONCE

Hi *********,

What you need is friends like our in the group. There are many widows and widowers who have had to start over. The death of my husband was not the only death that I endured. The guy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, died in a car accident, just two years ago, three days prior to us buying a home together. So once you learn to get up and walk again, you will be able to do it again and again. That is not to say that it is not difficult..that it is for sure....but, once we learn how to overcome heartache, it becomes more bearable the next time.

No one will ever replace your husband. BUT you have to start somewhere. Start with getting out with friends. Friends like in our group are the BEST medicine you can get! AND it is almost free!

So consider coming out to join all of us. We are good people and would welcome you.

I hope you find all the happiness that the world has to offer!

Fena
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 106
Hey Fena

Thanks for sharing this and the letter from the man who went to events and had a bumpy ride but by sharing it did me and perhaps others a favor. In candor I wondered why you started this group? Having a better understanding is like turning a light on in a dark room...it takes courage ....and a good internal compass to be upfront like this- truth is from my view running these groups is going to be a constant challenge because your 100% right that our own happiness is based on the person we see in the mirror and to pursue the things that nourish us- I have a friend who went through very tough loss of a spouse who says often " John were all ignorant in our own ways" not a bad thing but an understanding ...a great mantra my mother gave me is this " Kindness for others but not at my own expense. This is very cool stuff your sharing - and its been heard and listened too
best ********
PS also very cool you follow artistic pursuits because for many of us that provides a spark and wonder that ignites moments of joy and or understanding
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 107
Hi Fena,

I just finished reading your email. I appreciate hearing about you, and what motivates you to help so many people. You're absolutely correct regarding helping people helps (and heals) ourselves. My father taught me that lesson years ago. I just arrived home after working with special needs kids at the local high school. I have the same feelings as you. It makes me feel good to help them and they really have fun with me.

I also want to thank you for the outstanding party Sat. night. It was so much fun. You'll have to let me know when you might have some time to get together.


You're the Best!
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 109
Fena,
Thanks for sharing your intimate story with the group. I don't share the same details of your situation but can share the need for friendships and nevertheless have been inspired. Thank you and I hope to see you at one of your meet ups soon. It's just that my Oct. and Nov. are very busy so I'll have to miss those that are coming up soon.
Take care and thanks.
A former member
Post #: 15
Dear Fena,
I admire your candor in sharing your personal story. I want to briefly share my story with you.
When my marriage was failing and the children were still young, I desperately needed an outlet to help me cope with the depression which was overwhelming. I went to a support group and eventually stayed with the group for over 10yrs. I was able to help myself and others with leading groups, being a board member, etc. I realize the power of volunteering.
Thank you again for sharing your story. In doing so you have reminded us that although life can be a very hard road, but it is a lot easier if you have friends with you*

Sincerely,
Kathy Hall
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 110
Thank you for sharing Fena. I agree with you 100%! You must” give to get”. I participate in several hands on charity efforts and at times, I don’t want to go but it makes my own problems very small when I do.



Kathryn
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 111
Hi Kathy HAll!

Thanks so much for your posting. Yes! Friends make the road easier and more bearable. PEOPLE are the really important things in life. We can live with less house, less car, less anything but with the absence of people...life is truly empty.

I am happy to hear that you made that journey as I did! Isn't life really great today!

Hopefully people will read what we wrote and it will help them "Make it up the hill".

Thanks for sharing!

Fena
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 112
Fena- you made me have hope today! Thank you for the message- maybe someday I will meet you in person... (a female member)
Fena
Fena
Group Organizer
Wilmington, DE
Post #: 113
Just when I thought that you said your most profoundest thought, you top it with another! Again, I am in complete agreement. I make it a point of complimenting at least one person a day. You're correct in saying that it costs nothing and can change the course of someone's day. Another lesson from my Dad (who I miss so much)......

I am looking forward to our Oct. visit...in the meantime, I look forward to my daily "Fenaisms".

hugs to you,
A female member
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