Next Meetup

Gay & Single for a While - Weekend
I hope for this meeting to be a thoughtful place for people that have been single for a while to talk and support each other and socialize. We can self-examine, discover things about ourselves, and talk about our lives. By attending you could also help set the agenda and our direction. I'll need attendees to arrive on time so that I can let us all in at once. Otherwise, I'll have to interrupt our discussions to let stragglers in. If you have to be late, I’ll be monitoring Meetup messages. Suggested structure: 10:00 - 10:10 arrive 10:10 - 10:30 introductions & check-in 10:30 - 11:10 topics to discuss (open) 11:10 - 11:30 feedback & check-out

Clubhouse

400 Davis St · San Leandro, ca

Respond by: 12/16/2018

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What we're about

How is it like having been single? As months go by, you may be living a full life alone, but you're not completely bothered by it. Maybe you're too busy, too picky, or too content with your life to change it.

You may be fatigued by the dating apps, not really into the bar or club scene, or don't exactly enjoy being lost in crowded social events. Whatever it is, let's talk about it. Let's explore together, share our experiences, and create a world of our own.

Minimally, you could discover that others like you (on the fence) are out there. At best, you could hit it off with someone you could tolerate. Sorry, was that my sarcasm showing? I hope you get the idea. This is a social discussion group for people like us.

I'll attempt to highlight commonalities among the participants and keep the conversations real and flowing. I hold our meetings at a clubhouse of a residential building near the San Leandro BART station in the East Bay. I'm also open to your suggestions and feedback.

We start our meetings with a minimal check-in and topic nominations. Then I attempt to "organically" weave us among the subjects and ensure you have a good time. I'm hoping that our meetings would be a thoughtful place for people that have been single for a while to talk and support each other and socialize. We can self-examine, discover things about ourselves, and talk about our lives. Don't worry, I have nothing to sell you. Just hoping this group could be of service to others like us.

For your convenience, and to accommodate those that can only attend on weeknights or weekends, I'm holding our meetings twice a month, once for each preference. Here are example topics we could discuss in our meetings. I hope you're comfortable digging into this type of stuff.

Self-Affirming
• At what stage of being single are you at? Is there a time or directionality presumption there to discuss?
• I question the urgency and primacy of being coupled. Is there a place for my thinking in broader society?
• If I am somebody's type, my quirks can be endearing to the right person. Is that a useful mindset?
• I have habits and preferences that I love. Must those be taxed or diluted for a potential significant other?

Self-Effacing
• I don't want kids or marriage and don't want to share my living space. Can I still get into a relationship?
• I would rather be alone than go through the ordeal of finding someone. Can I give up assuming the worst?
• I have a certain body-image where I act as if I'm unworthy of being with people I like. Is there a way out?
• I'm attracted to certain types or ethnicities and feel limited by my choices. Can (or should) I outgrow this?

Lighter Topics
• From the Huffington Post: 11 Reasons You’re Still a Single Gay Man, details (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-toussaint/11-reasons-youre-still-a-_b_8631306.html).
• From Gay Star News: At what age does a gay man give up...?, details (https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/at-what-age-does-a-gay-man-give-up-looking-for-love-and-resign-to-being-single-forever/#gs.6c_QxuE).
• A book called "Gay & Single... Forever?" by Steven Bereznai, details (https://www.amazon.com/Gay-Single-Forever-Things-Looking-Finding-ebook/dp/B001HZZ0IY).

What are some of your thoughts or discussion topics? Join this group, add your perspective, and talk to others like you. Maybe we can learn from each other.

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