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What we're about

There are grief/support groups for people coping with the loss of a spouse or children. These are not that difficult to find. But the prerequisite for these groups tends to be that the children are biologically or legally related to you. But what if the children are not "yours"? What if you are suffering the loss of children to which you have no biological rights? And what if the loss is not due to death but due to a break-up with a single parent? What if you are a grandparent denied visitation of your grandchildren? What if these children on their own accord called you "Dad" or "Mom" or "Papa" or "Grandma"? Do you worry that the children will think you abandoned them? Do you feel anger, sadness, frustration, depression because the biological parent has completely removed you from their lives? Do you feel like you had the child's best interest at heart, and struggle with understanding why the biological parent wouldn't want to keep you in the child's life? Did you try to keep the relationship alive, no matter how unhealthy it may have been, because you knew that the end of the relationship with the partner would mean, for them, the end of the relationship with his/her children? Do you feel that you are the only one going through this, and that friends or acquaintances think it is much easier than if it were a biological child? Are you struggling with how to contact the children or if you should contact the children?

Do you think it would be helpful to meet other people suffering through at least a few of the questions above? Are you hoping that the children will look you up one day and want a relationship with you when they are old enough to make their own decisions? And, most importantly, are you wanting to heal from this loss? Are you wanting to learn how to live with the void of these children that are still out there?

This might be the starting place.

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