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New Jersey Divorce Group Message Board › SPRING is here / You Can't Hurry Love / Don't Think Just DO / and other rand

SPRING is here / You Can't Hurry Love / Don't Think Just DO / and other random thoughts :)

A former member
Post #: 112
Hello everyone - I hope you are all recovered from losing an hours sleep over the weekend - LOL
I just wanted to send out a positive message of HOPE as SPRING is upon us and we look forward.

I have had so many conversations with lots of members of this group since I joined five years ago
No matter if I talked to you in person, via txt msg, e-mail or phone the common thing most of us are longing for after divorce or becoming a widower or going thru a breakup of a relationship is companionship.

The feeling of being in LOVE and thinking of that special someone the first thing you wake up in the morning and the last thing you think of at night while falling asleep and wanting to spend the rest of your life with this person is intoxicating and changes your outlook on life.

I have said it many times and for those of you new to the group you will hear me say it again - THE end of your marriage is the death of your relationship with that person and there is a process to go thru to find yourself again and work on you, find the things you are passionate about and what makes you happy.

You are not being selfish you are actually being self-full because if you are fulfilled and happy in all areas of your life there will be more of you to give and you will not need someone to make you happy but when you find that emotional connection with someone the two of you will be able to live each day to the fullest and enjoy this journey called LIFE - There is no sense reliving the past - nothing we can do to change it - there is no sense wasting time on worrying about the future as fear of failure can paralyze you.

You need to live in the moment and enjoy TODAY for the gift that it is - that's why its called the PRESENT!!
The pen is in your hand and you need to write the next chapter in your life - no one else can do it for you - you need to go after what you want and MAKE IT HAPPEN and never give up on your goals and dreams!

I LOVE MUSIC and I heard this song by Phil Collins that was originally done by the Supremes in the 1960's and 50 years later the message still rings true about PATIENCE and HOPE and LOVE - Here are the lyrics:

[b]YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE

I need love, love Oh, ease my mind And I need to find time Someone to call mine
My mama said, "You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "Love don't come easy But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time No matter how long it takes

How many heartaches must I stand Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength, oh, it's almost gone

I remember mama said, "You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "Love don't come easy It's a game of give and take"
How long must I wait How much more must I take
Before loneliness Will cause my heart, heart to break

No, I can't bear to live my life alone I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on Well, these precious words keep me hanging on

I remember mama said, "You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "Love don't come easy Well, it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time No matter how long it takes, now break

Now love, love don't come easy But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice To talk to me at night
For some tender arms Hold me tight I keep waiting Oh, till that day
But it ain't easy (Love don't come easy) No, you know it ain't easy

My mama said, "You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait"
She said, "Love don't come easy But it's a game of give and take"
You can't hurry love No, you'll just have to wait
She said, "Love don't come easy It's a game of give and take"

TELL me that the words in this song are just perfect no matter what stage you are in your life.
If you are a teenager looking for your place in the world like our daughters and sons
or if you are a part of this group looking for a new fairytale ending in your life

My kids are growing right before my eyes into young adults - my 17 year old daughter and I talk about senior prom weekends, driving a car, college, work, travel and its my job to guide her and give her HOPE
She is just like I was in High School - very friendly with everyone but not part of any "groups" and it is frustrating to her but I was able to make here realize that she overthinks things and to focus on what is important and what she is passionate about which is performing and singing

My son will be 10 in May and I have seen a new found maturity in him which amazes me when we talk. He noticed yesterday that I have a positive affirmation in my car just like the one i have in my bathroom that talks about TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE - and he was able to explain to me in his words what that meant - He said to be happy each day for what you have and do things that you love to do - I had such a feeling of satisfaction that somehow over the last seven years since my ex-wife told me the night before his 3rd birthday that she wanted a divorce I have been able to be a positive example for my children!

I spent yesterday afternoon with him down at the mini golf course on Rte 9 in Howell then hitting some baseballs in the batting cages (something that always makes me feel good) and playing air hockey and bowling and skeeball and basketball inside and finally going to dinner before bringing him home.

He and I talked about how it is better to just hit the golf ball or baseball without thinking too much - see the ball - hit the ball and you will have greater success. That's when it hit me that most of us need to do that in our lives

stop overanalyzing and be grateful for what you have and see the doors of oppurtunity in front of us - just like the theme in the broadway show RENT - NO DAY BUT TODAY should be your motto - each day will bring you closer to your goals and dreams if you believe in yourself and visualize success.

LIFE IS A JOURNEY - WELCOME TO WHERE EVER YOU ARE - THE PEN IS IN YOUR HAND - THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN - DREAM BIG AND MAKE IT HAPPEN - FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY - COACH JOE smile
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