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Nerd Fun - Boston Message Board Nerd Fun - Boston - Event Related Discussion › NERD FUN: Why rsvp YES and then not come?

NERD FUN: Why rsvp YES and then not come?

Cambridge, MA

I'm sending this email out just to get a sense of why people RSVP "yes" and then don't come to events?

Please respond to the >>>discussion board here<<<. (not on email)

The organizers are going out of their way to include people, and flaking out on them is uncool... it ruins the good vibe of the group.

I'm trying to get into the Minds of the Members to understand why.

I don't want to have to start axing flakes from the group - I'd rather be inclusive... again - keeping a good vibe... so please... PLEASE, explain. Why computer savvy nerds can't remove themselves from the RSVP 'yes' list well before the event if they're not going to make it.



PS I'm being sincere here - inquiring minds want to know ... please speak up on the discussion board (not on private email to me).
user 8335516
Derry, NH
Post #: 211
Flaking is a problem...I don't think it's going away. I am the organizer of my own meetup and a co organizer in a few others. I think some just want to hold a place IN CASE they WANT to go. It's bad manners. Thanks for posting the question - perhaps someone who does do this will actually answer it since it drives me nuts too.
A former member
Post #: 6
Because shit happens. I always change my rsvp to no if I can't make it.. but sometimes there are situations that make it impossible to do that. Really.. shit happens, its nothing personal and that is the only reason. I work for two other meetup groups and the trend of no shows is present there and in every other group. No reason to be upset about it.
A former member
Post #: 1
My guess is a combination of impulsiveness and poor time management. It's east to sign up for a bunch of "hey that looks fun" events and then forget about them. When I sign up, I make sure to put things on my Google calendar.

I myself am guilty of flaking on at least one Nerd Fun event - although it wasn't deliberate. I got to the event (speech at the aquarium) late, due to subway delays, and they had already shut the doors to the auditorium.

I'm sure there's a littany of other reasons, but they all have the same outcome: the event organizer experiencing minor frustration.
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 178
BTW... I re-read this... and it sounds angry... I don't intend it to be.

A former member
Post #: 3
I would agree on "poor time management". When you see something fun, it's easy to click yes....and then two weeks later you might miss the email reminder and totally forget about the event!

I believe I have done this one one or more occasions, don't know if it was this group or not.

Doesn't the group have "maybe" disabled? Maybe maybe would maybe make this better....
A former member
Post #: 1
As someone who likes to host events, I understand how no-shows can really muck up the planning and aggravate the host. At the very root, it's inconsiderate and bad manners to blow off an RSVP update from Yes to No. My goal is always to update my RSVP like I did last week, but I'm not perfect. Across all of my meetup groups, there have been 2 instances that I had a brain freeze and didn't update my RSVP. So I now put an "Update Meetup RSVP" reminder into my calendar.
A former member
Post #: 16
I think in some cases it's more than a matter of minor annoyance for the planner. One meetup I was a part of met at a bar sometimes, and we had to reserve a table. If we reserved for more than showed up, that made them less and less likely to want to host us. If we tried to get around this by meeting at someone's place, that person wanted to know how many people to plan for in terms of beverages or snacks. If we tried to get around this by making it food and beverage free, that starts to be a not very fun meetup. If we tried to get around it by having a "potluck", you wind up with everyone bringing cheese.

Yes, these are all minor problems, but they add up over a period of time, and even a minor annoyance can become a major one when you have to deal with it every week or every other week for months on end, especially when you know it's soooo easy for people to just log in and click on No, even if it's at the last minute.

I've seen two meetups ultimately collapse under the frustration of the planner, and then no one else wanting to step forward and assume the same burden. I think for a meetup to work everyone needs to recognize that the planner is doing a HUGE FAVOR for everyone else by doing the planning and the writing up, and all we have to do as non-planners is click Yes or No in a responsible fashion.
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 179
> Doesn't the group have "maybe" disabled? Maybe maybe would maybe make this better.... decided to axe 'maybe' altogether :(

I didn't care at first... now maybe I do.
A former member
Post #: 1
Hey Heather,

I'm new to the group, and am guilty of RSVP-ing 'yes' and then not showing up. I got caught up with work that day (not an excuse, just the truth) and didn't realize that the etiquette was to change the RSVP status to 'no'. (In hindsight, it seems obvious and I will certainly be mindful in the future.)

I apologize for not showing up.

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