What we're about

This group is for organizing events for people in the open relationship community. Events are primarily in the form of discussion potlucks which happen multiple time a month. All events posted here are also posted to other groups, and true attendance is usually between 15-30 people. Our typical potluck format begins with socializing and dinner followed by small group discussion on topics relating to relationships, communication skills, or some sub section of the open lifestyle, and then freestyle socializing afterward. This is a good place to make friends and connections

We are open to letting everyone in, giving everyone a chance to belong, and taking the time to see each person as a whole individual. However, if you show up and disrespect the safe space we are holding, you will not be welcome back and we hold no obligation to give you a warning of your behavior if you seem to be showing up solely to find someone to hook up with. Rules and expectations are simple.



This community thrives on authentic, open hearted, & vulnerable discussions. For everyone's safety and comfort, everything from this group should be treated as confidential and private.
Be respectful of everyone’s right to choose when, how much and to whom they are open to about their lifestyle and don’t say anything that would out them in public.

When attending group events, always ask before entering someone’s personal space, and respect any stated boundaries regarding personal space or physical contact.
Online: Do not PM random members you haven’t met.

Expect to see and hear lifestyles and perspectives that are similar or different than your own. All should be treated as valid, whether or not they line up with your own beliefs. Disrespectful, degrading, or inflammatory comments about race, religion, culture, sexual orientation, gender or identity are not tolerated and will get you a swift warning or get you kicked out of the group.


{Respect and Holding Space}

There are as many ways to define what open means as there are people, so with that in mind, be respectful of everyone’s lifestyle choices. We all must accept the fact that there will be people we do not agree with. Your beliefs are no more or less right or true than anyone else’s. In this community we “hold space for each other”, which means: Let people exist without judgement, without trying to change or fix them, whether or not you agree with them, simply let them exist. See them and support them, and give them the space to feel their emotions and decide what they may want to do about their situation.

{Trust, an effect of Holding Space}

By holding space and taking care of each other’s minds, hearts, and emotions we can foster trust, and provide a safe space to open ourselves up to others. It is ok to let people see you shine, and to see you hurt. It is not only OK but encouraged to be vulnerable, as we believe that vulnerability is where connection is fostered. It is ok to ask questions, and answer questions fully and honestly. There is nothing that needs to be hidden, it’s ok to have mischievous conversations, speak of the naughty and taboo. Please share your laughter with us, and your love, and celebrate your victories and accomplishments, milestones and breakthroughs.

We want to provide a home away from home, a safe place for exploration, a place to ask others who have gone before us, “How does this work? What does this mean? I feel this, what should I do?” This is a place to go deep, be vulnerable, and uncover parts of yourself that you did not know you had. It is also a place to observe, listen, and learn silently, if that is what you desire.

{Lovers & Friends}

Being open is being intimate and loving. We are open to the idea that friendships do not have to exclude physical intimacy, but can embrace it. This is embodied in a smile, in a hug that lights up your day. It is opening yourself to love, and feeling loved. It is that soul filling, heart expanding presence, acceptance and desire and care and community. It’s knowing that you are Accepted.

{Self Improvement & Self Governance}

People are not mind readers, and therefore we have to communicate. Communication is a work in progress for us all, but each of us is responsible for telling others how we feel, what we want, and what we don’t want.

We Encourage each other to take responsibility for our actions and our inactions. Take responsibility for how we feel and communicate that. The admin are not responsible for resolving your conflicts.

Upcoming events (1)

Open Community Potluck San Jose

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Past events (68)

Open Community Potluck San Jose

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