Welcome to our ethically non-monogamous community! This is a family friendly polyamory meetup group. As you might imagine, that brings with it a whole host of things to consider in regards to our families, specifically, our children. This group is for those poly people who have kids, or are considering having kids, or are friendly to being more involved in an 'additional caring adult' dynamic with their partner's kids. Is there a word for that yet? Probably, but the whole question of how to introduce one's alternative lifestyle to their kids is an interesting one in general, and a choice that everyone needs to consider.
But that's one of the reasons we reach out for supportive community. Our hope is that this group will be a place to meet other families going through the same adjustments, and facing similar conversations and questions. While it is not necessary to bring your children to our meetups, we would like to hold this as a space where our kids can meet other kids who might be living in similar circumstances. Since this is no simple matter, all of our members who do decide to bring children along should seriously consider how they will react to questions and scenarios from their kids interacting with others who may be from more 'out' families. Because as we all know, kids see everything, and often have no filter on their questions or observations.
Most importantly, we expect the majority of our meetups to be kid-friendly, so conversation at our meetups about poly topics should be discreet. To facilitate this, our meetups will be activity focused rather than simple social gatherings. The idea is to allow kids to interact with other kids, as well as with adults. Some adults may occasionally get a chance to step away for a bit, but please be aware that our meetups are not intended to provide child care!
To that end, while around our wonderful children, we ask that everyone please keep any discussions on non-poly topics as the default!
How much each family is out to their kids is a very personal choice, and it is theirs to make. We encourage you to take advantage of the meetup message board, and to exchange personal contact information if you choose, so that poly-specific conversations can be held away from little ears that hear more than we ever expect. That said, we recognize (and ask you to keep in mind) that anyone can slip. We hope to foster an environment of understanding and compassion, where courteous redirection is both practiced and welcome when we do make mistakes.
Based on challenges we've faced while navigating this ourselves, we hope to build a resource where we can all learn methods for approaching the subject of polyamory / ethical non-monogamy in age appropriate ways when it feels right to let our kids know about our lifestyle choices / curiosities, and how they might differ from the norm of society. We also hope to provide a community that demonstrates for all of our children that our new found families, while they may be a little different, are rooted in the same basic tenants as all other families: love, caring, support, compassion, trust, willingness to grow as a person and in our relationships, willingness to accept others' growth, acceptance of who our partners are as people, and encouragement for them in their life's journey.
If you are interested in joining, please be ready to answer the following questions. More detail is better than less so that the organizers can have a better idea of how you fit into the group.
1. How long have you been in / been learning about polyamorous / ethically non-monogamous relationships?
2. What does your family structure (including any Ethically Non-Monogamous relationship(s)) look like? If you're looking to change it, how? If you have children, how familiar are they with ethical non-monogamy and your preferred family structure?
3. What are some of your family's favorite interactive activities? What are some outings or events you'd like to see happen within this group?
4. Please share any existing poly-family resources you are familiar with / have found useful.
5. What would you like to get from this meetup group? Why would this group be a good fit for you?