What we're about

This group is for people interested in helping build a community based around the giving of sexual pleasure. Even though a large number of people enjoy giving pleasure as their main sexual outlet (we call them Pleasure Givers), it's often hard for them to find partners just interested in receiving (we call them Pleasure Seekers). Pleasure Givers hopes to normalize and de-stigmatize relationships and encounters where the focus is on one person giving pleasure to another.


Whether you're looking for a one-time pleasuring experience or an ongoing relationship that that's fairly one-sided, Pleasure Givers is a place for those who crave giving pleasure to others. Ideally, the Pleasure Giver finds satisfaction in the act of giving and craves it over receiving pleasure.

Having had many conversations in my SexPositive Reno and San Francisco Meetup Groups, I've found that the reasons people like to be Pleasure Givers are varied and sometimes complicated:

• Some men have performance issues, and being a Pleasure Giver removes the performance anxiety they may feel during sex

• Some individuals may have health or physical limits that make receiving pleasure or having orgasms difficult or even painful

• Others enjoy being submissive and are turned on by being used as a source of pleasure

• They just want to give an amazing sexual experience to others

• Some are seeking to gaining experience and learn how to please others better

• Giving pleasure and being the source of pleasure can be healing to both the Pleasure Giver and the Receiver

I find some of these to be true for me, personally. I love being the recipient of focused pleasuring, but I also love to give that experience to someone else. I find the experience of giving pleasure to be healing and very gratifying. I've definitely found it surprisingly arousing to seen as a source of pleasure. There's something about focusing on another person's pleasure that allows you to take them to new heights.


Some people feel being a Pleasure Giver means you're submissive. People like to give pleasure for a variety of reasons, and it's a beautiful gift that one should take pride in offering. Wanting to give pleasure doesn't make you submissive, but being a submissive giver is awesome too!

Just as importantly, asking for pleasure is NOT SELFISH! We are building a community of enthusiastic givers who want to provide you with all the pleasure you could ask for. It turns them on and makes them happy to give others pleasure. Giving a Pleasure Giver the opportunity to pleasure you could make their week or even their month.

It's OK to be both a Pleasure Giver and a Pleasure Seeker at different times, depending on your mood and needs.


When thinking about giving/receiving pleasure in this way, many people first think of oral. While that's likely to be the most common connection sought out by Pleasure Givers/Seekers, there's so much more. We encourage:

• Oral pleasuring

• Hand jobs/fingering

• Breast play/suckling/nursing

• Anal play/pegging

• Yoni or Lingam massage

Pleasure givers is about the pleasure flowing primarily in one direction, where the Pleasure Giver is mostly focused on providing attention to the Pleasure Seeker. If you're seeking a more balanced experience, there are countless communities that focus on those experiences.

Please note, this group is for community building. Events will not be overtly sexual in nature. Those kinds of activities will be organized elsewhere, though we will definitely discuss them here.


If you would like to help get PleasureGivers off the ground or be an organizer, please contact me.

Regardless of your gender identity, your sexual orientation, and whether you want to give or you seek pleasure, all are welcome here. We encourage you to be fully honest about what you want when communicating with others, and to honor all agreements you make.

Thanks, and enjoy your day!

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An Introduction to PleasureGivers

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