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Screenplay Review #2 - "The Eternal City" by Armelle Cloche

Welcome to the second on what should become at least a monthly event, as determined by the number of scripts volunteered for reading.

This month we will look at "The Eternal City" by Armelle Cloche.  The screenplay will be available to download shortly from the Files section of this meetup site, or may be e-mailed directly from the author if she prefers.

We will read the screenplay on our own and talk about it at length at the meetup itself.  The author may bring sections to table read at the event if she chooses.

If there is time after we can also table read and discuss longer sections (20-30 pages) from other writers.

Please continue to e-mail me or post to the message board thread on this topic if you would like to offer a complete work for a future Full Screenplay reading.  These meetings are in addition to our regular meetups on the second and fourth Wednesdays of the month. Please also let me know if you want to host one of these meetings at another location.  As the author, you'll have say over how you want to run your meeting, how its read and reviewed by the group.

Please e-mail me (Howard) to get in the queue.  Once again, I will give priority to people who have attended at least a few previous SF Screenwriters events.

 

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  • Amaroq de Q.

    So what time is Screenplay Review #3?? I don't see it listed yet; it's May 1st, right??

    April 29, 2013

  • Nick R.

    Another way to go, if you keep Aim the protagonist, is to make him determined to stamp out art and artists, but privately harbor doubts about what he's doing, which you hear when he's with the Doctor (again, the Tony Soprano model. I just saw "Looper", they do something similar there as well.) His doubts will take on greater significance when we find out he was a poet in his previous life.

    Then you'd need another character who is initially his ally in destroying art, but who he has to defeat later when Khalila changes his mind (your Senator?)

    April 3, 2013

    • Armelle C.

      Nick, your idea goes in the line of what I've been thinking about since we left our Meetup last night. I like it. Thank you. I found "Looper" quite intriguing and loved some of its twists. Regarding what you said regarding creating a scifi world and its rules, could you please point out a script or two I should read to see such examples applied?

      April 4, 2013

    • Nick R.

      Battlestar Galactica (the 2004 tv movie), Bladerunner, Minority Report, Children of Men, WALL-E might be good reads. The rules and the technologies are sprinkled around the story, but I think the reader can sense when they are all pulled from a consistent universe.

      April 5, 2013

  • Leo M.

    Armelle received a lot of bang for her buck Wed. night when we reviewed "Eternal City." I'm next up (on May 1) with my script "Spiriting West". As Armelle did, I expect invaluable criticism. You're all invited to sharpen your knives. As Mark Twain said, "Doors open at six. Trouble starts at six-thirty." You're all invited to sharpen your rapiers.

    April 5, 2013

  • David G H.

    Another enjoyable visit to the "Eternal City" and a fun evening around the table at Crossroads.

    April 4, 2013

  • Armelle C.

    Always great meetups organized by Howard, Phil & Amaroq. This one, of course, was particularly important and useful to me to further re-write my script "The Eternal City."

    April 4, 2013

  • Armelle C.

    Thank you Howard, Phil, Amaroq, David, Nick, Ross & Leo for putting the time reading "The Eternal City" and to provide your valuable comments, critics and suggestions to help me turn it into a great marketable screenplay. To everyone present last night, I have the following questions:
    - I'd love to receive a copy of the electronic notes you took if easy for you to share.
    - Assuming that I remove the Sun catastrophe plot to focus and further develop the Art being banished plot and the eternal lovers being forbidden to meet again plot, I'd love to know your take on further developing the affection/revelry between Aim & the Senator and giving more substance to Dr. Vartan.

    Again, thank you all. I look forward to returning the support with "your" screenplays when ready :)

    Armelle

    April 4, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    So sorry, plans got derailed. Catch you all next time.

    April 3, 2013

  • Daniel S.

    So sorry. Have to leave town for work

    April 2, 2013

  • David G H.

    I have already read and critiqued the "Eternal City" screenplay.

    March 28, 2013

  • Howard G.

    The script, "The Eternal City" is now up at this site.. Go to More > Files to download the screenplay if you are a member of the group and will attend the group meeting this coming wednesday.

    1 · March 28, 2013

  • Armelle C.

    Of course I'm attending :)

    1 · March 19, 2013

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