What we're about

Oahu is such an amazing place with so much to offer- surfing, paddle boarding, hiking, good food, culture, and list goes on. As single people we have so many opportunities, but keep reading because I have a little twist on going out.

THE "NEW" FRIEND ZONE- Yes, this is a new term and radically diffetent way of interacting with other singles and people that we might be attracted to. When I was younger, I datimg some incredible women and was engaged 3 times!!! But each time, the women and I realized that I am such a "free spirit" thst I needed somebody in my life that was willing to chase huge dreams, and live a life of moving where our dreams lead us to. In order to do that, I needed to find a woman that was willing to drop everything if both of our dreams required it. There's millions of women out there that feel the same way.... I just have not met them. So after years of chasing my dreams and being single I stumbled upon something that has been hiding right in front of us all this time- a life of PEACE AS A SINGLE PERSON!!

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Even if you don't join the group think about this concept and share it with your friends. Here is how it works. Let's say that I meet a girl (it doesn't matter if I am attracted to her or not), and we become friends. We hang out and have some fun times and eventually I ask her if she has a boyfriend, to which she answers "yes" or "no". Then she asks me if I have a girlfriend, (which I don't), and I tell her that I don't date. I put every girl that I meet into a category that I call the "New Friend Zone". That means that I just hang out with girls as friends for 4-6 months so that I can get an idea if we will workout as a couple. Typically in that 4-6 months I will find things that would have eventually broken us up if we would have dated, but here is the great part- we are still friends!!! No more endless list of people that we met once or twice and never talk to again. And here is the thing that blows me away- in the New Friend Zone we can be very ambiguous about our feelings and offer some really great compliments to the other person. For me, if I think a woman is beautiful in one way or another, I want to tell her. But I only want to do it in a way that she will appreciate. Here is the KEY CONCEPT FOR GUYS that feel the same way- we can give compliments but then not show "our cards". The whole idea is to say really encouraging things that we actually feel but then move on to a different topic, not linger or keep saying things like we always do. And ladies, when we give nice compliments like, "Your hair looks amazing!" answering by saying something like,, "Oh, I haven't washed it for 3 days," is not a good response. "Thanks" will do :)

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Following this philosophy is very difficult, but anything worth while is not going to be easy, right? The show stopper for most people is the, "no intimate contact for 4-6 months, and no talking about it." This is a push, back towards the days of being super respectful towards another person and taking time to be good friends and having fun. And if you make it to 5 months- I recommend spending an entire day with somebody in a crowded shopping mall. That will bring out the "crazy" in a lot of people, but that is ok too because then that person just ends up being a good friend. If you make it past 5 months, how do you get it out of "The New Friend Zone? I will tell you when you make it that long ;)

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How did this new term come into existence? I was going to school to be a Christian minister and I noticed that a lot of my friends would meet really nice people at church, bars, clubs, the beach, or some other way, but they would go out with them 1 time and that was it. I was thinking that there had a be a different way to do things. And now I realized that us guys can have some control and we can keep from telling girls everything that we think and be respectful. As for the girls, I am learning that the saying is true, "Girls rule, guys drool!" Remember that ladies. When you forget that, you loose your "power" over us and then girls start to pursue guys and they end up looking kind of pitiful to be honest- if you don't believe me, ask a guy. Next- Here is rule #1 "No talking about other people in front of the person you are spending time with." Example- When I meet the nice girl, but I am also attracted to other girls, I go back to Rule #1, act like a gentleman should act, AND NOT TALK ABOUT OTHER GIRLS!!! EVEN ACTRESSES!!!! and ladies, NO TALKING ABOUT "MAGIC MIKE" in front of us either!

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So what can we do here in Honolulu? Surf, paddleboard, hike, anything.... but do it WITHOUT it being a "dating" thing. We could meet and I could tell you all about it. I am excited because I have met so many incredible people but to be honest, the girls get it, and guys have a really tough time with it. For those that are into different types of relationships, this may work as well, but I am not in a position to say- and no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I am Christian. I just really think that women are amazing so I haven't thought about this yet outside of my setting. One last thing- this whole concept can be really confusing. Sorry. I speak with my heart so it tends to come out sounding all messed up, but believe me, it is all about treating others with the respect that they deserve and having some great times. So let's go surf!

Upcoming events (5)

Check out the Facebook page I made for us!
Needs a date and time

Needs a location

I asked- you answered. Some said make a FB page because it could help get info out and organize the group a little better. I made it and added a blog link. Let's hear your agreements or disagreements with the topics. https://m.facebook.com/The-New-Friend-Zone-Honolulu-1047161961987587/ Stay encouraged! Batch

Let's Meetup for some Country line dancing lessons!

Nothin' beats some good ol' Country Music and line dancing, except Salsa dancing, and hip hop, but you get the point. I have never been line dancing here in Hawaii but it is a good type of New Friend Zone event. Anybody have suggestions on a day?

Just got back from a months long business trip to Alaska- lets try to meetup!
Needs a date and time

Dave and Busters and Ward Theatres

Aloha! I have been gone for quite a while now, and am ready to meetup with ya'll! How about meeting up at Dave and Busters one of these nights, or dancing at Addiction? Give me some ideas because I am usually out surfing right after work- meet me for surf as well.

RSVP here to meet other people that like to Hike
Needs a date and time

Needs a location

I'm starting something new. RSVP to this event in order to meet guys and girls that like to hike. Get some conversations going about meeting up for different hikes and meeting people with similar interests. Ladies, meetup with each other and form a little hiking crew. Then after you have done a few hikes start opening it up to everybody else. The guys could start joining you all and then the hiking group starts to meet on a regular basis. But it can't get started up if you don't help it out. In San Diego I have a surfing group and over 4000 people signed up for it. I created tons of events for us and we had a blast. But now I am in Hawaii and the group is still meeting on its own and having some great times. Think about it, if you are looking to meet a certain someone, then meeting somebody that likes what you like is a great place to start. However, don't focus on meeting somebody for future relationship possibilities. Instead, focus on just meeting and having fun. That way, you make some friends that will like to go out and do what you like to do and it takes the pressure off of meeting "the one."

Photos (10)