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New Meetup: Loving What Is -- Reality Rules

From: Surati
Sent on: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 11:10 PM
Announcing a new Meetup for The Vancouver Byron Katie Meetup Group!

What: Loving What Is -- Reality Rules

When: Wednesday, February 3,[masked]:30 PM

My home
3049 West 14th Avenue
Vancouver, BC V5K 0A1

What Is Is

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, ?Meow.? Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless.
And yet, if you pay attention, you?ll notice that you think thoughts like this dozens of times a day. ?People should be kinder.? ?Children should be well- behaved.? ?My husband (or wife) should agree with me.? ?I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful).? These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is. If you think that this sounds depressing, you?re right. All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is.
People new to The Work often say to me, ?But it would be disempowering to stop my argument with reality. If I simply accept reality, I?ll become passive. I may even lose the desire to act.? I answer them with a question: ?Can you really know that that?s true?? Which is more empowering???I wish I hadn?t lost my job? or ?I lost my job; what can I do now??
The Work reveals that what you think shouldn?t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it did, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn?t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle. No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to be in a car accident; but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know better than to do that, yet we do it, because we don?t know how to stop.
I am a lover of what is, not because I?m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don?t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless. (Excerpt from Byron Katie's book "Loving what is" - see also / more info at

To do The Work, alone or with others, you begin by finding the particular thoughts that are causing you stress. Perhaps one thought is: My partner doesn't love me. You write the thoughts down on what is called a Worksheet, then examine the thought using these four questions:

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

After this, you turn the thought around to its several opposites -- for example, My partner does love me; I don't love my partner; I don't love myself -- and you find three genuine examples of how each turnaround is as true as or truer than the original thought.

I will introduce you to inquiry, model it and facilitate you if you would like to try it. Come if you want to find truth and peace and learn this simple way of dealing with your stressful thinking. All that's required is an open mind...

Email or call me with your questions.

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