The purpose of a Family Constellations workshop is to uncover what Bert Hellinger (the founder of Family Constellations) described as the Orders of Love, which are deeply embedded in the unconscious family group.
We all know there are certain things needed to keep plants and trees healthy and thriving. This is true too of families and all who are part of it. Bert Hellinger through working with several thousand family systems realised that disturbances to the order of love in previous generations inevitably affected the lives of both concurrent and future generations.
As with a tree, the trunk needs to be strong enough to support its branches. In a family the parents need to be strong enough to support their children and the children need be able to receive the love from their parents.
When this order is out of balance, a child has to grow up too fast and acts like the parent, or a parent never really grows up and acts like a child. These signs of a family system which is out of order can lead to many different emotions which can hinder the love to flow effectively within a family.
It can lead to consequences for family members that may last for many generations, affecting peoples' lives and limiting their potential in the world. It can result in repeated patterns of dysfunctional relationships or emotional distress.
What effect can those patterns have?
The patterns from previous generations can often become embedded in the family behaviours and attitudes that they seem to be 'normal', even when they are destructive. They may be so intimately integrated into our view of who we are that we are unable to see an alternative way of living, loving and relating, and unable to break out of a cycle of behaviour that we no longer want.
Those patterns can affect
- relationships with your partner, spouse, or other intimate relationships
- your relationships with your parents and relatives
- your relationships with your children,
- work relationships
- work performance,
- social relationships,
- confidence and self esteem
If we don't recognise those patterns they can be difficult to change. If we recognise the pattern but are not aware of the dynamic that is causing the pattern, we are likely to go on repeating the pattern despite our attempts to change.
That can be both frustrating and exhausting.
The Constellations process can transforms real situations and impact the entire generational system - past, present and future.
Balance in giving and receiving
All relationships are about giving and receiving. The key to any good relationship is getting the balance right.
In some relationships one person may give a lot. At first the giver may feel a sense of fulfilment in giving, it may be a way of showing their love, how much they care or just make them feel good. After some time that giving can turn into resentment, when they perceive they are giving too much or are not receiving the equivalent in return.
In other relationships one person may receive a lot. At first it may feel good to receive. If we are unable to give back in some way, the receiving can turn into guilt, or a feeling of being unworthy to receive.
We all have perceptions of what, how much and in which way we think we should give and receive. When this is not meet or the balance is not there it can have an effect on the way we relate to each other.
Some children believe they didn’t receive enough from their parents. In this case the first main relationship in our lives, that of parent and child already has a sense that the balance is not right. This can have a long-term effect or perpetuate a pattern in how we relate to ourselves and to others throughout our lives.
Constellations can help to bring back balance, peace and harmony in our relationships.
When this profound influence is understood,it can show us how love that was previously damaged and misdirected, can be transformed.
I am a life coach, Master NLP practitioner and qualified Family Constellations Facilitator.
Next Family constellations meet up will be posted to the group.
I want to acknowledge and thank Kate Brinly who started this meetup group and wish her well with her new business and ventures. Click here for more details
Family Constellations training:
For details of the Family Constellations training I completed with my teacher Yildiz Sethi please click here:
Next workshop with my teacher in Melbourne is 15 and 16th October 2016 click here for more details or to book.
It is your responsibility to disclose any physical or mental health issues that you have in order that we can see if this process is appropriate for you.
The Process of Family Constellations often involves intense emotional experiences. You need to accept full responsibility for your participation and processing. You are welcome to discuss with the facilitator prior to the workshop.
During a Family Constellation workshop strong emotions and some physical symptoms may be experienced for which you will need to take full responsibility, as we each process in different ways and rates. Participation may be therapeutic, educational and informative.
Please note -This process is not meant to replace, but to compliment any medical diagnosis or treatment programs in relieving the stresses in which these complaints thrive. If you are being treated by a medical or clinical registered practitioner, then they can accompany you in the workshop, free of charge, to provide any additional support (if you need it). It is your responsibility to disclose and discuss any concerns prior to, or on booking.
For those under medical supervision it is your responsibility to disclose and discuss your situation on or prior to booking.
Thank you and I hope to see you at the next family constellations group workshop!
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