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Dancing Argentine Tango can improve your salsa

From: Muhammad A.
Sent on: Saturday, August 25, 2012 11:02 AM

                          When I dance Tango with her…She is my woman. I am her man.
                                        “We dream the same dream”

What does it mean to dance with a woman like she is your woman? It means many things. It means that you treat her special. It means that in this moment there is no woman more important. No woman more important than the one you are holding in your arms. It means you treat her with the attitude of love. It means she trusts you. She trusts you with herself. .. with her heart and soul. She is open to you, and she will do anything you ask, because in her heart of hearts she knows you would never ask her to do anything that she does not want to do.

No matter how high her station in life – even if she is a high powered lawyer, a judge, a CEO who commands others, a beautiful woman at whose feet men swoon, or big mama who is accustomed to having her way, or a modern woman who has little time for a man, she is man enough and still a woman too. Even if all of this is true and more, in the deepest recesses of her heart, even if unknown to her, she wants to follow, to be led by a man who she can respect, admire, love and embrace.  In this moment, you are that man, and it means she will follow you anywhere.

Even if she is a woman with great insecurities, not easy to trust, shy and reluctant; even if she has been hurt, hurt so deeply that her trust does not come easily, and even if she is the most resigned of cynics believing that love will never find her. Even if she believes she is not worthy, that if you really knew her you would not like her, much less love her. Even if she feels that she is too big, too tall, too short, too skinny, too old, too young, or too much of what she doesn’t like about herself, and too little of what she admires in others but somehow does not seem to see in herself. Even if she is all this and more, she still longs to escape the walls of her emotional prison, to escape into the landscape of joy and peace, of security and contentment, and to be both inspired and led.. .to believe again, or to believe for the first time. Even if this is the baggage she brings to the dance, when she looks in your eyes, and sees your smile, she knows that you “really see her,” without judgment, without agenda, and with only the desire to make her world beautiful… in this moment, sanctuary is in your arms, which she intuitively knows …and she relaxes once your hands touch, and she feels the warmth of your breathe and the pulsating of your heart. She knows. I am home, I can trust this man. He is my man. I am his woman.

She will follow you with every twist and turn, not with an attitude of fear and trepidation, but with an attitude of adventure and joy. She belongs to you, and you belong to her. In this moment, you are one. Her arms are your arms, her legs your legs, her hips, your hips. Her breathe, your breathe.

So when you lead her,  and her leg forms a bolero, it is because you made it do so, you led it this way.  When she twists into an ocho pattern or leans forward into you in volcado like fashion, like a visually expressive bridge across a vast ravine, she does so because you have led it so. If she leans away from you like lovers not wanting to depart from one another, …hanging in a colgado… as one hanging on your every word, it is because you  have led her there.

No matter the complexity or the penetrating simplicity of the move, she does not need to know the move, you only need to know, invite and lead her there, for she allows herself to be brought to wherever you lead her because you have willed it so, and she has only willed to follow you.  Tu deseo es mi deseo (your wish is my wish, your desire is my desire).

When you hold her, she holds you back. When you breathe with her, it is as one breathe. When you dance this way, it is not that it takes to two to tango, Gabriella* is right. The two of you make one. One plus one does not make two, it makes one. This is the Tango.


She is your inspiration. She is your world. There is no other woman who captures your eye or your imagination more than she does. There is no place you would rather be, than where you are. There is no woman you would rather hold than this woman. There is no other woman you want or admire more. She is enough. She is more than enough. She is all you need. You are all she needs.


She is beautiful, because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and when you look at her in this way, with love, with an attitude of how can I please this woman, how can I make her heart smile, how can I make her giggle, make her sigh, make her cling to me and embrace me as though after this night I am going off to war, a war from which I may not return..she will feel the intensity of this moment. She will be fully present.. she will want the moment to last, to last forever, she will appreciate the moment, and value it as much as you do… she will mirror back what you give her, and when you look into her face, there will be radiance there, and if you were to speak you would be compelled to say: “I love the way I look in your eyes.”

Those eyes, when open … inspire your heart, and even when closed she still sees you and you feel her gaze. God I love this woman.

When you touch her, this is the intent behind your touch, and she feels it. You touch her, and you feel her touch all the way to depth of your pores, which stand up on your fingertips like the thirsty flower rises to drink in the misty rain. When you inhale her aroma, it is drives you to even higher heights, as you almost blush from the quiver that it sends throughout your body.

Between us, movement seems effortless.  Like skaters gliding upon the ice, you move smoothly, and when you pause … to take in the moment, and then move again -  your pause is like a couple who stops to cuddle. And when you cuddle, it is heart-warming….and you are both left feeling… God I love this dance.

When the music stops, it is as though you have been awakened from a wonderful dream.  And when the reality of the moments you’ve shared is met by the reality that the moment has passed, you find yourself both appreciative and looking forward to such moments again.

And like you found her, you return her to where it all began… escorting her back to her seat… to the table where she once sat.. to the company she once kept, even to her real life partner.  As you depart, you both eye each other silently… and you both know… we dreamed the same dream and what a dream it was.


Muhammad Abdullah, Summer 2012 – Another tale from the dance floor
*Gabriella Condrea author of: When 1+1=1 ‘that Impossible Connection.”

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