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Ground Rules

Ground Rules
*Adapted from The Snuggle Party Guidebook, Cuddle Up To Me, and Cuddle Sanctuary.

  • This is a consensual event. I am at choice at all times.
  • I will ask for what I need, and I feel able to communicate “no” if I am not a full “yes.”
  • I have the right to say “no” to any request for any or no reason at all. No explanation required.
  • Even if I’ve already said “yes,” I may discontinue an interaction at any time for any reason. No explanation required.
  • If I receive one verbal or nonverbal “no” for a request once open cuddle time begins I will not re-approach that person again with any request for the rest of the event. I will allow them to approach me if they are comfortable communicating further.
  • When offering to interact with someone else, to the best of my ability, I will use body language that is neutral.
  • I will wait for a response before engaging in an accepted request.
  • If a request is declined I will honor their no with as much neutrality or genuine positivity as possible with knowledge that they are caring for themselves by only agreeing to what is comfortable for them.
  • I won’t assume that someone else is comfortable giving or receiving a certain kind of touch just because I am comfortable giving or receiving it or because they have shared that type of touch with someone else.
  • The minimum clothing requirement is a tank top and shorts that go below your fingertips when standing. No lingerie, see through clothing, or otherwise sexually provocative clothing is acceptable.
  • Hands will remain outside of clothing at all times.
  • Touch in the “bikini area” is off-limits. This specifically means to touching with hands on the breast, bottom, or genital area of all genders. This is not a space to push boundaries.
  • I will avoid conversations around topics that may be triggering within earshot of anyone around me who I have not gained consent from to discuss first.
  • I will keep my voice low to allow for multiple conversations to happen comfortably at the same time.
  • No kissing of any kind is allowed at events.
  • If joining two or more people already interacting, ask permission before joining in, and make sure it’s okay with each of them. With a larger group, ask permission of everyone who will be directly affected by my inclusion.
  • Physical attraction: group cuddles shouldn't be an attractiveness competition, so consider snuggling with a variety of partners regardless of how physically attractive you find them. From time to time, your body may show visible signs of arousal. This is normal, but you are responsible for not acting upon it in a sexual way, and for not prolonging potentially unwelcome contact. Simply shift your position and contact points, get up and take a short break from snuggling, or consider shifting partners.
  • I will offer my contact information to whomever I would like to continue communication with outside of the event. I will not ask for anyone else’s contact information.
  • I am responsible to ensure my state of mind allows me to clearly make appropriate judgements regarding touch and all interactions at an event.
  • Confidentiality: You may talk about your own experiences, and about the event at a general level, but you may not talk about anything that identifies a specific person or what they did. An exception is reporting ground rule violations to a facilitator. Because the general public does not yet understand group cuddle events, some people may not want to be publicly identified as snugglers. Please do not share someone else’s details even with other group members at the same event.
  • Privacy: While snuggles are non-sexual, they're still relatively intimate, and we want a safe environment where everyone can relax. No videos, photos, or audio recording without prior written consent from every person involved in the event.
    Personal hygiene: Please avoid perfumes, colognes, or other strongly scented products as some people are sensitive to them. Make sure you've showered or bathed recently. Stay at home if you have a potentially contagious illness or open wound that cannot be covered.
  • Conversation etiquette: The rules of “normal” conversation settings become even more important in snuggle settings. Just as touch increases feelings of intimacy, it can also increase feelings of being violated when someone is breaking the rules. Imagine being at a party where you wish to go say hello to your friend across the room, but the person you're talking to ignores your hints and keeps talking. That feels a bit uncomfortable, no? Now imagine the same person is also holding your hand and stroking your arm, and not taking your hints. It feels even more like being held hostage, no?
  • Please alert a facilitator if someone is not honoring the ground rules.

Table of Contents

Page title Most recent update Last edited by
Social Club Rules and Expectations August 24, 2017 5:39 PM Samantha H.
Waiver August 24, 2017 5:40 PM Samantha H.
Ground Rules February 7, 2017 7:26 AM Bruce C.
About Portland Social Connection Meetup December 10, 2016 5:48 PM Samantha H.

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