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Feeling A Void Within

From: Jay
Sent on: Thursday, April 4, 2013 10:34 PM

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I have a personal question to ask you. Over the past few months I've had several conversations which lead to a peculiarly common disclosure. I've heard this from people across different age groups, gender, ethnicity and professional backgrounds. They feel they have everything, by the standards of the world, but there is a void inside. And, they don't understand why.

I was in the same place some years ago, so I know this feeling. Have you experienced this? If so, would you like to share what you have done to fill this void? Rest assured, this will stay private.

Enjoy below the first of a series of five great insights to conflict resolution!

With love,

Are YOU in Conflict with Anyone?

Part 1

Being in conflict with someone, somewhere at sometime seems to be an inevitable and perhaps frequent event during the course of all our lives.  Mostly they don't last long...the conflicts that is!!  They blow over, either by talking things through or the issue, which tends to be fixed, just loses it's significance against the bigger picture which is always moving and changing.  But sometimes a conflicted relationship gets stuck and even escalates.  Sometimes they seem to last for years.  Some people even manage to string it out over their entire life!  It's then that our ignorance of the dynamics of conflict is not only obvious, it becomes a huge obstacle to it's passing.
The basic ingredients of all conflicts are the same regardless the issues at stake, the characters taking part or the history of the relationship.  However when we are in the middle of any conflict it's hard for you to see and understand these ingredients.  It's tough to see real causes.  The arising emotions are both distracting and blinding.
Here are five key 'insights' about conflict and their application, which may help you walk your own path to liberation from all conflict everywhere and for all time! Each 'insight' will be shared with you over the next 5 weeks so you can understand it deeply.
INSIGHT 1 - Your responsibility within any conflict situation in which you are involved is your contribution to the conflict
APPLICATION - The Shift from Dissolution to Resolution

The process of responding to any person or situation is something that happens within you.  No one can make you feel anything without your permission.  If you have been in conflict with someone for sometime you are likely to be creating fear or anger towards them, and therefore expressing resistant behaviors/tendencies as you engage with them.  The other person is not responsible for your emotions or your behaviors.  Easy theory but hard to see in the actuality of the exchange.  It's also a 'don't want to see' whenever you simply think about the conflict.  It's always easier to hold 'them' in your mind as the perpetrators.
If you sit quietly on your own and find a neutral position from which to reflect upon the conflict, as if you were a third party watching, you will likely realize the following.  There is a cyclical exchange of energy in every conflict.  The cycle of your experience of the conflict and therefore your contribution to the conflict begins within your consciousness and is sustained within your consciousness.  It doesn't begin with what the other says or does.  It begins with your 'perception' of the other.  If you perceive them negatively you will think negative thoughts, feel negative, create a negative attitude, and behave negatively, thereby giving them negative energy.  You don't have to.  Perception is always a choice.  But that's the first thing we forget in the heat of any exchange.
-  When there is conflict there is mental/emotional pain.
-  Who creates your mental/emotional pain?  You do!
-  Who creates at least half of the conflict? You do!
-  Who has the power to dissolve at least half the conflict? You do!
-  Where do you dissolve it? Within your own consciousness.  Within your self.
When seen in this light liberation from conflict is simply a decision.  At any moment you can decide not to be in conflict! All you have to do is change your perception.  That becomes much easier when you alter your intention.  So what is the intention behind all conflicts?  It sounds like this.  "I want something and I am going to get that something regardless of what they want".  A simple definition of conflict is therefore "The belief that if they get what they want I cannot get what I want".   The shorter definition is of course WAR!
It is within our power to change our intention at any moment.  That's why the road to conflict resolution starts with a change of intention and perception.  It may be as simple a thought as, "It would be interesting to see what we both might gain from this." In that moment, with that thought, you have begun to dissolve your contribution to the conflict.  You have begun to lessen your pain!
This is why all conflict resolution can only begin with 'conflict dissolution'.  One party has to dissolve their contribution to the conflict, even if it is only temporarily, so that the process of resolution can begin.
Dissolution comes before resolution.

Next 'insight' next week!
©  Mike George 2013
Copyright © 2013 Brahma Kumaris, All rights reserved.
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