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Old is Annoying? - a conversation about age and aging

The conversation for the night will centre around the topic of age and aging with possible topics including the benefits and detriments of years of experience, geriocracy/gerontocracy (rule via age rather than, say, merit), anti-aging medicine, generational differences, advice you wish you would've listened to when you were younger, etc.... 

*As usual, throw up possible conversation topics in the comments!*

Mingling starts at 6:30

Topic intro starts at 7:15

Finish at 8:45

Bring something edible to share if you've got the time and the means. We'll have the coffee and tea brewing. 

Join or login to comment.

  • Rachel

    I don't know if I"ll be able to make it or not, but I came across this 'theory of gerotranscendence' a few days ago, and it seems pretty relevant to the topic at hand - not to mention something to look forward to about getting old! http://www.soc.uu.se/research/research-projects/gerotranscendence/

    February 25, 2014

    • Tracey

      Sometimes these lessons were astronomically painful and even dangerous, however it has always been in my nature to confront the contradictions and incongruence of my experiences with other people and life. I eventually came to a realization that if what I thought was real in the past wasn't, what is that I am perceiving as reality now that may not be? A few years ago I came upon a fellow named Nisargadatta, he is known as 'hammer to the head' :) One of my favorite quotes is "The search for Reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings, for it destroys the world in which you live." I was delighted when I read this as it sort validated for me my whole life, I recognized it as my life's purpose. To me, this is aging. Of course, some days are better than others.

      February 26, 2014

    • Braden

      Tracey - Try Jed McKenna, Raman Maharshi, and the whole Non-duality ting if your really want to go there and mess with your head

      February 26, 2014

  • Marjorie

    I don't feel old but when I look in the mirror I am surprised to find wrinkles and age spots but I will wear them with pride as they are a part of who I am in this moment and a reflection of years of living

    February 24, 2014

  • Dianne B

    I feel I have to go defend my age category!

    February 24, 2014

  • John St P.

    This topis is getting some attention already, looking forward to it ! I am 43 and get called out for being in my early 30's. Gotta love it! For me I like aging in the sense that I look younger but have the experience of a much older person. For myself I have no complaints, its actually pretty great :)

    1 · February 22, 2014

  • Alex b.

    I understand why the younger generation has trouble respecting their elders. I, for example, have trouble programming my phone. What i do think we have to offer is some understanding of human nature which has not changed because of technology.

    But, the bottom line is that getting old sucks; the question is how to make the best of it.

    February 21, 2014

    • Braden

      I think you’ve answered your own question Kirsten – the more you have the more there is to lose, the less you have to begin with the less the perceived loss. It’s the degree of disparity which determines the reaction and how you cope with getting older.

      February 22, 2014

    • Tracy

      I think it is also the expectations that you have of yourself. I know my mother is always complaining that she doesn't have the energy to do all the things she used to do and prided herself on being able to do.

      February 22, 2014

  • Braden

    I see there are pros and cons to getting older.
    What sucks is the deterioration of body functions, and for some, mental function. Nature plays a bit of a cruel joke on us this way.
    But what is great is that a lot of societal expectations fall by the wayside and there is a new freedom available.
    As a species we seem to be living longer and healthier. 65 is the new 45 and a significant portion of the 60~70 year old ‘seniors’ are cavorting around and having a great time.
    Mental attitude is important here.
    And there’s lots of interesting things to do on a low income and that don’t require a high standard of health – this group is one of them.

    So I’d say that ‘getting older sucks’ depends on your POV.

    February 22, 2014

  • Braden

    As an old fart and with lots of experience with other old farts and older farts (its getting smelly in here… :-) my observation is that this supposed wisdom about human nature that supposedly comes with age, says more about the individual than about what is actually going on. The older one gets the more reality is perceived through a rather thick set of metaphorical belief lenses.
    If I had anything to say to a younger person it would be to ignore what everyone else (including me) has to tell you about how life is and should be lived and to just follow your heart, follow your intuition, follow your inner voice. Trust yourself. Just go and do!

    Anything else is just deluded self important wisdom and messing with some young person’s head.

    February 21, 2014

    • Tracy

      It is not just old people who like to tell everyone else how to live their life. My rule of thumb by now is --if anyone tells me that I should do something, my response is "why should I"

      February 21, 2014

  • A former member
    A former member

    I think rigidity is annoying! The idea of 'the grumpy old man' is not purely anecdotal - the parts of the brain that are effected by aging include the parts that effect temperament. In societies whereby knowledge is transferred primarily by the old and experienced, the old are looked upon with greater respect. In societies where knowledge is disseminated by media etc, whereby we are not relying on the wisdom of the old, different attributes are valued. I can see how some of my rigid ideas (including prejudices etc) annoy my adult kids and I can understand and appreciate their point of view. In this era of rapid change, adaptability, efficiency etc is what is valued - not so much time tested wisdom that can only be garnered from experience. That being said many old people find young people annoying and would prefer living in their 'seniors only' 'ghettos'. Works both ways!

    February 18, 2014

    • Tracy

      I agree with you. And it is easy to understand the tension between the generations. It is very difficult to live in a world where everything you thought you knew has been changed and everyone thinks you have nothing to offer. But it has been repeatedly shown that both children and grandparents benefit greatly when they are encouraged to spend significant amounts of time together. Both generations really do need each other. Wisdom learned through experience still has an important place in our psyches.

      2 · February 19, 2014

  • Jacquelyn S.

    My parents are dead, but my in-laws are still living and breathing at 86 (she) and 92 (he). Both are in relatively good health and still feel they have something to contribute to society. One comment from her on the phone last night was that she feels that younger people feel seniors are annoying and should just step aside and get out of the way. She says that hurts.

    February 14, 2014

    • Tracy

      You are right. But God forbid that I should still be ruled by the neural connections from my childhood! That's scary

      February 18, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      We've certainly advanced immensely in science and technology in 2000 years, however I also tend to feel that humans do not learn from history. On an individual level, you have to make your own mistakes - what 16 year old just listens to their parents? No, you need to get burned yourself and then wish you had listened to your parents. And on a grander scale, I suppose we've done away with slavery and human sacrifices, but I still see a lot of stupidity and backwardness based upon similar principles of someone in power trying to run everyone else's lives for them. Does anyone else feel our economy, laws, and politics have "advanced" to the point of overkill, such that no layperson can possibly understand all the nuances of each field? I find that in many ways counter-productive.

      1 · February 18, 2014

  • Josh W

    I feel like this needs to be part of the conversation. "A Message From the Formerly Popular Kids In Your High School."

    www.tinyurl.com/formerlypopular

    February 18, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      I wasn't popular nor do I have a yacht now :(

      February 18, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      But seriously, even at 25 I see this happening to people I used to know - often as a result of too much drugs. But is any of it caused by early popularity? And are smart kids necessarily unpopular? I don't think so.

      February 18, 2014

  • kevin

    A bit of an observation on the topic, I feel the majority of participants in the group is from middle age and onward's. What about the group appeals to the older and is unappealing to the younger.

    1 · February 14, 2014

    • Kirsten

      Although maybe you may be best placed to answer your question?

      February 18, 2014

    • A former member
      A former member

      I tend to feel older people have a lot more time on their hands. Most 30 - 40 year olds' lives have been taken over by kids, whereas by 50 even with a full time job, most peoples' schedules free up immensely as their kids grow up. As for the lack of 20 year olds, we certainly have enough free time, unfortunately most of us choose to use it on beer and sports than intellectual discussion.

      February 18, 2014

  • Duane M.

    I think getting old is awesome and i'm sticking around as long as life support will let me....hoping to get some bionic parts in the next 30 years to extend the warranty..I feel sorry for those that dont live long enough to get grey hair....

    1 · February 16, 2014

  • Dianne B

    An interesting and humorous article in todays' Times Colonist under Victoria Film Festival: Cyber-Seniors shows age is no barrier on the web....
    Enjoy and have a great weekend (seniors included!)

    February 15, 2014

  • Braden

    So, is it just me, or does anyone else get creeped out watching a 70ish drooping jowl faced Paul McCartney and a spindly Ringo trying to recapture their glory days?
    I know they’re THE BEATLES! but they’re messing with my memories – both with their old looks and their old sounding sounds -the vocal pipes ain't what they used to be guys....
    I get we’d all like to recapture our youth – but go somewhere and do it in private please.
    I don’t mind getting old but I hate it when they do.
    (and Joe Walsh wasn’t much better.)
    PS - I'm an old fart has been musician too...

    February 14, 2014

  • Tracey

    Cool topic...age/aging, time and our relationship to it's passing. Is it really passing, the body ages and we obtain experience..how do we quantify our inner age relative to our body age. Are they the same? Is it possible to be in a young body, relatively speaking, and yet feel very old? Yes. To be young can mean to be smug about aging, incomprehensible, just as it must be. There is no escape, well except for death, aging is inevitable...or perhaps not ;)

    February 14, 2014

  • Jacquelyn S.

    What a great topic. Can't wait!

    February 14, 2014

  • Josh W

    Throw down some comments/questions to fuel our next conversation.

    February 14, 2014

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