Intellectual Discussions

It's February, which means it's time for our most popular topic--sex and relationships. Please listen to the podcast below (from 6:33 - 30:28)! We'll also read some relationship conflict scenarios from advice columns, and talk about our opinions/thoughts/guidance (no advance reading required). As usual, we'll socialize for about an hour before the discussion starts at 8:30pm. I encourage everyone to bring something yummy (or Valentine's themed) to share! *Note: If anyone acts creepy, I will not hesitate to ask them to leave*. **Discussion Ideas**: * Relationships and identity. Do relationship change who we are? * In relationships, to what extend to we extend our identity or embrace a new identity? How much do we open ourselves up to being a different person when we meet someone else? * Are the things that draw us to someone, also the things that repel us later? * Do we want change, but are also afraid of change? * What is more important for a successful relationship, a willingness to change or a sense of our own identity? * Do relationships have an arc? If so, what is yours * Cornerstone vs. captsone relationships. * How can relationships make room for both people to change, and the relationship dynamic to change? * Chioce paradox in relationship options. * How do our stories about our past, present and future affect our relationships? * How do our implicit memories influence our narratives, in relationship conflict? * [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajneRM-ET1Q&t=393s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajneRM-ET1Q&t=393s) **(from 6:33 - 30:28)**

This is the first of several meetings on *Nature's God: The Heretical Origins of the American Republic*, by Matthew Stewart. For this meeting, please try to read the first three chapters (pages 1-129 in the paperback). **Where did the ideas come from that became the cornerstone of American democracy?** America’s founders intended to liberate us not just from one king but from the ghostly tyranny of supernatural religion. Drawing deeply on the study of European philosophy, Matthew Stewart brilliantly tracks the ancient, pagan, and continental ideas from which America’s revolutionaries drew their inspiration. In the writings of Spinoza, Lucretius, and other great philosophers, Stewart recovers the true meanings of “Nature’s God,” “the pursuit of happiness,” and the radical political theory with which the American experiment in self-government began. [LINK](https://a.co/d/bkTWJNb) I hope to see you there! Fred

[Profs and Pints Northern Virginia](https://www.profsandpints.com/washingtondc) presents: **“Love and Monsters,”** on the inescapable bond between romance and horror, with Joshua Barton, scholar of horror and lecturer in English at Virginia Commonwealth University. [Advance tickets: $13.50 plus sales tax and processing fees. Available at [https://www.ticketleap.events/tickets/profsandpints/nv-love-monsters](https://www.ticketleap.events/tickets/profsandpints/nv-love-monsters) .] Romance and horror might seem like opposite genres, but they share a deep emotional core, and the combination of them has captivated audiences across time and culture. Put even your worst Valentine’s Day in perspective by hearing this strange relationship discussed by Joshua Barton, who has earned a big following among Profs and Pints fans with his past talks on cryptids, American horror, and Christmas ghosts. He’ll explore the undeniable and unsettling intersection of romance and horror and examine how and why love and fear intensify each other and combined to create tension, drive narratives, and explore human vulnerability. We’ll look at works that have blended passion and terror, including Gothic literature like the vampire novella *Carmilla* and modern films like *Spring* and *Crimson Peak*. We’ll study the fine line between obsession and adoration running through Stephen King’s “I Know What You Need,” Adrian Lyne’s *Fatal Attraction*, and the timeless *The Phantom of the Opera.* We’ll discuss the seeds of monstrous love that were planted with *Beauty and the Beast* and *Creature from the Black Lagoon* and bloom ferociously in works like *Twilight* and *The Shape of Water*. Through it all, we’ll find the threads of otherness and the taboo that intertwine horror, love, and reflections on identity. Join us for a journey through storytelling that combines the grotesque and the scintillating as we uncover why romance and horror are a match made in the dark. (Doors: $17, or $15 with a student ID. Listed time is for doors. Talk starts 30 minutes later.) Image: From the original 1954 advertising poster for *Creature from the Black Lagoon* (Artist: Reynold Brown / Public Domain).

[Profs and Pints Northern Virginia](https://www.profsandpints.com/washingtondc) presents: **“Satanic Panics,”** a look at waves of fear of demonic activity as an American tradition, with Luxx Mishou, cultural historian and former instructor at the U.S. Naval Academy and area community colleges. [Advance tickets: $13.50 plus sales tax and processing fees. Available at [https://events.ticketleap.com/tickets/profsandpints/nv-satanic-panics2](https://events.ticketleap.com/tickets/profsandpints/nv-satanic-panics2) .] The 1980s found the United States gripped by fear of Satanic cults targeting children. They were believed to be corrupting young ones in daycare centers and tempting teens through subliminal messages on heavy metal albums or through the quiet inclusion of demonic rituals in role-playing games. Satanic serial killers supposedly stalked the suburbs. Doctors helped patients uncover what were claimed to be repressed memories of ritualistic satanic abuse. Parents, police, and politicians were urged to protect impressionable youths from both moral and physical danger. With Satanic cults deemed to be a real and material threat, it was a frightening time for everyone, including those who suddenly came under suspicion for doing evil deeds. Then, suddenly, it all faded from public consciousness, just as surely as did eighties fads such mullet haircuts, leg warmers, and Cabbage Patch Kids. Why did it all start? Why did it stop? And has this happened before or since? Hear such questions tackled by Luxx Mishou, a cultural historian and media specialist who has long researched the devious and villainous in cultural artifacts. She’ll discuss moral panics as a longstanding cultural tradition, with each new one stemming from fear of cultural shifts and shaped by the time and place where it occurred. Among the panics we’ll look into are the Red Scare of the 1950s and the public response to the gruesome 1969 murders committed by the Manson Family. Delving into the 1980s panic, Mishou will describe how it began with the 1980 publication of psychiatrist Lawrence Pazder’s memoir *Michelle Remembers*, detailing the suppressed memories of ritualistic abuse reportedly suffered by a patient. As that book quickly became a best seller, its ideas saturated American culture. A California daycare center became the focus of a three-year investigation, followed by three years of trials, based on allegations that its owner had engaged in secret ritualistic abuse of the children in its care. Mishou will lead you through the media that convinced the public that devil worshipers were among them, and she’ll talk about how reactions to imagined threats can have very real social costs. (Doors: $17, or $15 with a student ID. Listed time is for doors. The talk starts 30 minutes later.) Image by Canva.

Join us for conversations that go beyond small talk, diving into topics like the shifting nature of spirituality, the challenges and joys of midlife transitions, the impact of culture and capitalism, and the search for meaning in art, travel, and daily life. Our gatherings are about genuine, thought-provoking dialogue, with no set leader or strict agenda—just an open space to share ideas, perspectives, and experiences that matter to us. The direction of the discussion is shaped by everyone who shows up, making each event unique and enriching. Come ready to share, reflect, and connect with others who are also seeking deeper conversations. Some great optional questions for discussion are below.
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Suggested Questions: Life Stages & Transitions
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1. What did you think you'd have figured out by now that you're still completely winging?
2. When did you realize your parents' advice was for a world that no longer exists?
3. What are you finally old enough to stop pretending to care about?
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Suggested Questions: Identity After the Roles
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4. Who are you when nobody needs anything from you?
5. What dream keeps resurfacing even though the "practical" time has passed?
6. How do you handle having the freedom you always said you wanted?
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Suggested Questions: AI & Being Human
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7. What human experiences will AI never truly understand?
8. If machines handled all your have-to's, what would you actually do?
9. What becomes more precious as everything becomes automated?
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Suggested Questions: Belief & Meaning
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10. What certainties have you given up, and what rushed in to fill that space?
11. How has knowing someone who died changed how you live?
12. What do you believe now that would shock your younger self?
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Suggested Questions: The Modern Psyche
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13. What anxiety do you carry that previous generations didn't have?
14. Which of your survival strategies are you ready to retire?
15. What uncomfortable truth about happiness did it take you years to accept?
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Suggested Questions: Work & Purpose
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16. When did you stop believing that your job would complete you?
17. What would you do for work if money and status weren't factors?
18. How has your definition of "making it" changed over the years?
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Suggested Questions: Relationships & Connection
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19. What relationship dynamic do you keep recreating, and why?
20. When did you realize your parents were just people trying their best?
21. What kind of loneliness doesn't go away even when you're with others?
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Suggested Questions: Time & Mortality
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22. What are you running out of time to say or do?
23. How differently do you spend your time knowing it's finite?
24. What will you regret not trying, even if you fail?
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Suggested Questions: Society & Culture
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25. What social convention do you follow even though it makes no sense?
26. Which generation do you understand least, and what might you be missing?
27. What aspect of how we live now will seem insane in 20 years?
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Suggested Questions: Personal Philosophy
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28. What rule for life did you create after learning something the hard way?
29. When did you stop believing that everyone else had it figured out
30. What paradox about life have you learned to live with?

**In a time of division and isolation, come be part of the community that's rebuilding the town square, one table at a time.** In BreadBreakers, we use the common space of the dining table to have conversations where neighbors can **hear, be heard, and know one another.** If you're hungry for good discourse and deeper community, join us for a Community Dinner in Reston and help blaze the trail to a healthier, more connected society and democracy. Here’s how it works: For just two hours, multiple tables of people set aside the need to "win" and instead focus on sharing, listening, and connecting. Guided by experienced table hosts, we'll tell our stories, try to understand each other, and practice being in community with those with different views or backgrounds. **At this dinner, participants will get to choose between three different topics, including some current events.** Topics range from the political, to the spiritual, to the philosophical, to the off-the-wall - but no matter which table you choose to sit at, you can be sure it'll be like no dinner conversation you've had before! You can also **suggest a topic** by emailing us at [BreadBreakersInfo@gmail.com.](http://BreadBreakersInfo@gmail.com./) Food will be provided for free. For those who wish to provide a donation to help fund BreadBreakers, you can [give here](https://pushpay.com/g/restorationrestonumc?fnd=pO6G-N7oO7FH7Mp1u-x6mA&fndv=Lock&r=No&lang=en&src=pcgl) or at the event. We'll have vegetarian and gluten-free options available. If you have any additional dietary restrictions (Celiac Disease, vegan, etc.) please let us know at [BreadBreakersInfo@gmail.com](mailto:BreadBreakersInfo@gmail.com) so that we can implement the appropriate food handling procedures. **Join us, invite a friend, and be a part of the movement to mend our fractured society and normalize a better way of talking with one another.** BreadBreakers, an initiative by [Restoration United Methodist Church](https://restorationreston.org/breadbreakers) in Reston, VA, is a religiously inclusive community. All faiths and all stripes are welcomed. Our leadership, volunteer team, and community include people who attend Restoration and people who don't.