The Perfection Trap: A cultural obsession that’s making us miserable
Details
At first glance, perfectionism seems like a virtue—a commitment to high standards, an aversion to mediocrity, the pursuit of greatness. But in today’s world, it often fuels anxiety, depression, and burnout, trapping us in a relentless zero-sum competition where success is scarce and failure feels like personal deficiency. And the pressure to be perfect isn’t easy to shrug off—it’s deeply embedded in our economy and culture. Advertisers condition us to feel perpetually dissatisfied, social media distorts reality with flawless illusions, parents are pushed to cultivate exceptional children, and an increasingly precarious job market ensures we never stop scrambling to prove our worth. Let’s meet up to explore what perfectionism does to us—and how we might break free from its grip.
Book: The Perfection Trap – Embracing the Power of Good Enough (2023) by Thomas Curran.
In our book this month, Thomas Curran, a psychology professor at the London School of Economics, gathers a wide range of evidence on the paradoxically toxic effects of perfectionism on everything from performance to social inequality. He dissects the economic and cultural forces driving our society's perfectionism crisis. The book has an approachable style that bridges academic research with personal anecdotes.
Note that it is not primarily a self-help book and does not dive into areas like slow living & minimalism, mindfulness, or Wabi-Sabi. However, it does provide recommendations in the final part of the book on how to resist the modern-day pressure to be perfect, including ideas on self-compassion and the concept of ‘good enough’.
As usual, we strongly encourage that you read the book. (And for paperback readers, order it now in case the current 24-hour delivery turns into 2-3 weeks!) This enables more focal points for discussion. We have also put some links below on videos and articles that may be helpful if you cannot access the book.
So join us for a drink (and optional meal) at 6.30pm Monday, May 5th at the far-end of the 2nd floor at the Keg & Brew Hotel, Surrey Hills. The Keg & Brew is close to Central Station and the Light Rail.
Hope to see you there!
p.s. PLEASE ADJUST YOUR RSVP if you have indicated that you will come but are no longer able to do so. This is courteous to people if there is a waitlist.
p.p.s. PLEASE ADJUST YOUR EMAIL NOTIFICATION SETTINGS (particularly for the Big Ideas Book Club settings in the main email notification settings page). This is useful in case I need to notify everyone of any late changes to the event.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are just possible links to consider, particularly if you can't get the book. Feel free to pass on other useful links in the discussion section.
Video and audio
- A presentation on the book by Curran:
Why the Pursuit of Perfection is Bad for Your Health
- A couple of podcasts with Curran:
ABC Radio National - How to escape the perfection trap
Freakonomics - Is perfectionism ruining your life?
- For fans of Gwyneth Paltrow - who is perfect - here is her podcast interview with Curran:
Goop - The social psychology of perfectionism
Written
- A summary of the book:
SoBrief summary of The Perfection Trap
- A couple of magazine reviews of the book:
- Another great book closely related to this topic is The Good Enough Life by Avram Alpert. This book contrasts the concept of ‘greatness’ with ‘good enough’, and is written from a philosophy perspective. It’s somewhat similar to the midlife book we did in January. Indeed, if you liked Kieran Setiya, see this discussion with him and Alpert on living a good enough life: