Conscious Lesbian/Queer Dating & Love Santa Barbara

Questions about lesbian dating? We've got you covered! > Register here for just $1.00 Trust & Safety Fee (free if you're a return visitor)

Can the dating apps really work? Which ones? What to put in a profile?
How soon to meet... how to avoid scammers and fakes...
What to do if she texts too much, or not enough
How to know if your "picker" is broken
What to do if you're attracted to unavailable women
How to know if you're really ready... and if she is...
The three biggest mistakes most lesbians and queer women make, that doom our relationships over and over...
... and so much more.

This free (or $1.00 if you're new) Q&A Session is brought to you by Conscious Girlfriend Academy, global leader in lesbian and queer dating education. We wrote the book on lesbian dating and love -- literally! Download the first four chapters of our Amazon bestseller Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love right here, free.

A Meetup RSVP alone will not get you in to our September 6 Q&A. You must register on our website >right here -- and while you're there, read about our upcoming 12-week Lesbian Dating Essentials course, too. Your heart is worth it, and our neuroscience-based, attachment-savvy, queer-centric education will change your life.

Feeling discouraged? Check out some happy, healthy lesbian love stories right here (women in their 50s and 60s, btw). This could be you. We'll help you get there.

See The Full 12-Week Course & Registration Info Here

Can You Relate To Any Of These Challenges?
"I've been out for decades, but I've never really dated."
"I'm new to dating women, and have no idea how to get started."
"Now that I'm over 50, everything about dating is just different."
*"*I've tried online dating, and it didn't work for me."
"I know I should 'put myself out there,' but HOW?!"
"I wish I could just skip the dating and be in a relationship already."
"I feel too burned to consider dating, yet I don't want to just give up."
"I'm not sure I want to date, but I know I need more connection in my life with healthier people."

Good News: Help Is Here!
Here's the thing: if you haven't known how to make lesbian dating work for you, you're not alone, and it's not your fault. Whether you've been out for a long time or are new to dating women, lesbian dating is intense, vulnerable, and often confusing.
Although queer dating is a learnable skill, it's not intuitive. When you try to just "follow your heart," it's likely to lead you straight to heartbreak, for reasons you'll learn all about in >Lesbian Dating Essentials.
It can be hard to even find women to date -- especially where there's not a big lesbian or queer community. Someone can seem right on paper, but you don't feel a spark. Or, when you do feel a spark, you might ignore the red flags and end up in something toxic.
You deserve better. And you can have it! It just takes learning how.

**The Lesbian Dating Essentials 12-Week Intensive is here to help you change your love life destiny, *for good. ***See the full course info here. This is a paid class, and a Meetup RSVP alone won't get you in.

This class is brought to you by Conscious Girlfriend Academy, the global leader in lesbian/queer dating and love education since 2014. We wrote the book on it -- literally! Start reading our Amazon bestseller, Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love, free right here.

Lesbian/Queer Dating & Love, Demystified!
Since our first class in 2014, Conscious Girlfriend programs have helped thousands of lesbians, queer women and adjacent non-binary people from 25 countries. We've got the keys to healing your heart, getting out of the wrong relationships, and getting into the right ones.
The Academy has many offerings throughout the year, plus two flagship 12-week courses: Lesbian Dating Essentials**, offered each September, and The Roadmap To Conscious Lesbian Dating & Lasting Love*,* offered each January.
**Our participants' stories are proof that the Academy *works. ***Read some happy, healthy lesbian love stories here for inspiration :)

Get the full Conscious Lesbian/Queer retreat details right here on our website :)

This 3-day event invites you to:

• Connect with open-hearted, like-minded lesbians and queer women
• Experience a non-hookup, community-focused environment
• Explore workshops and conversations that support personal growth and authentic connection

For some, this retreat will be their first lesbian event ever, offering a safe, welcoming space to step into community. For others, it will rekindle the joyful spirit of 1980s–1990s lesbian gatherings, celebrating friendship, self-discovery, and belonging.

***

Q: Who is the Conscious Girlfriend Academy retreat for?
This retreat is designed especially for single lesbians and queer women seeking community and friendship, though of course couples are welcome, too. Most of our attendees tend to be over 40.

• If you’re over 40, you’ll be right at home! Most attendees are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond.
• Women just coming out or exploring their queer identity are embraced here
• Longtime lesbians looking to reconnect with lesbian culture and community will feel like ducks in water :)

It’s the perfect space if you’ve been longing for meaningful connection without the pressure of a bar or dating scene and if you are a growth-oriented lesbian who wants to hang out with and/or date people committed to conscious, healthy relationships.

***

Q: Is this a dating, hookup or party event? What's the vibe?
Conscious Girlfriend Academy's focus is on conscious connection, growth, and friendship, so this retreat will be an extension of that. Most participants will have been attending Zoom classes and groups together for months, though if you're just hearing about us now, you can still come -- as long as you become a member.

That said, we will likely have a workshop on flirting and/or on lesbian sex, because we embrace all aspects of the queer experience, including our eros. And you might meet someone special organically, simply because this is a warm and authentic space where like-minded women gather.

It's definitely not a party. Some attendees may drink wine in the evening (after all, it's Napa), but many are sober or just choose not to drink. There will definitely be dancing and laughter, though :)

Get the full details and sign up here -- only a few spots are left!

***

Q: What can I expect to experience at the retreat?
At our October 2025 Conscious Girlfriend Academy retreat, you can look forward to:

• Workshops for self-discovery and personal growth, including an opportunity to attend the Saturday session of our 12-week Lesbian Dating Essentials class live and in-person!
• Morning qi gong, tai chi, yoga, meditation or mindful walks
• Community-building circles and conversations, plus an opportunity for members to share some of their own skills and knowledge and mini-workshops to benefit us all
• Evening gatherings that foster joy and belonging, including campfires and maybe even s'mores (gluten-free for some of us)
• Fantastic meals drawing on the farmland bounty Napa Valley and California are known for
• Time to relax, reflect, and recharge in warm-hearted company, welcoming to introverts, extroverts and everyone in between

Many participants say the true magic is in the friendships and confidence they take home with them.

***

Q: I’m just coming out. Will I fit in?
Absolutely! This retreat is crafted for inclusivity and comfort, offering a gentle landing for those:

• Newly coming out
• Exploring their lesbian or queer identity
• Seeking their first connection with lesbian community

You’ll be surrounded by growth-oriented, open-hearted women who will support, uplift, and welcome you exactly as you are.

***

Q: What makes this lesbian retreat unique?
Unlike a larger event or party-focused weekends, the Conscious Girlfriend Academy retreat offers:

• A non-intimidating, community-first atmosphere
• Workshops and activities that prioritize self-acceptance, learning, and authentic connection
• Opportunities to bond with other single lesbians without the pressure of a hookup or dating-focused event
• An opportunity to meet in person with your past, present or future classmates in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, the world's only online school and community devoted to helping lesbians and adjacent queer people live our best lives, date wisely and love well. (We >wrote the book on Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love, and you can start reading it free right here.)

***

Q: Why Napa, California in October 2025?

• Napa Valley is gorgeous in autumn, with harvest-season beauty, golden vineyards, and crisp evenings.
• The serene setting supports relaxation and reflection, away from the rush of daily life.
• It’s easy to access from the Bay Area and regional airports, making it ideal for a weekend retreat to recharge and reconnect. Yet many of our participants will come from the East Coast, elsewhere in the U.S., and most likely elsewhere in the world, too. (Our members come from 25 countries!)

Q: Why do you have to be an Academy member in order to attend?

• Academy membership creates a culture based on being conscious, compassionate and curious, and this container transfers over to our retreats, making them both richer and more relaxed. Learn about membership here.
• When you're at a Conscious Girlfriend event, you can expect genuine warmth, not a frenzied focus on "meeting someone." You will definitely "meet someone" -- lots of someones! That said, most of our retreats yield friendships which sometimes, in the fullness of time, turn into romantic relationships. So, it could happen :)
• Most Academy members find that the Academy dramatically uplevels their capacity for higher-quality, authentic friendship and relationships. So it's a special perk to be able to spend F2F time with those women you've previously seen in the Zoom squares, and see what blossoms. This retreat comes midway through our groundbreaking online 12-week Lesbian Dating Essentials class, which may well rock your world -- whether you've been struggling to date, have been single for years or decades, or have never really dated as a lesbian at all.

Get the full retreat details and sign up here -- only a few spots left!