Keeping Relationships Alive

Okay, I need to get real for a second.

I have this friend I've known for eight years. We used to be really close. But they moved cities three years ago, and now I'm the one who always texts first. Always suggests calls. Always asks how they're doing.
And they respond! They're not ghosting me. But they never initiate. And I keep telling myself "they're just busy" or "distance is hard for everyone."

But honestly? I'm tired. And I'm starting to wonder if I'm holding onto who we used to be instead of accepting what we actually are now.

And it's not just that friendship. I have a family member I've barely talked to in two years even though we're supposedly "close." Relationships that used to feel easy now feel like work I'm not sure is worth it.

But then I feel guilty for even thinking that. Like, aren't you supposed to fight for relationships that matter? Isn't giving up on people kind of... shitty?

Except I'm also realizing: You can't fight for a relationship by yourself. At some point, the other person has to show up too.

So here's what I'm trying to figure out—how do you know when distance or time has just changed a relationship vs. when it's actually over? How much effort is "enough" before you're just exhausting yourself? And how do you let go of relationships that aren't working without feeling like you failed?

Because I'm genuinely confused about what I'm supposed to be doing here. Maybe you are too?

We're actually talking about this exact thing on Tuesday (2/17) if anyone wants to sort through it together. No answers, just honest conversation about what's actually hard about this.

Click Here To RSVP
Date/Time: February 17, 2026 • 7 - 8:30 PM
Location: 3400 Shamrock Drive • Charlotte, NC

Anyone else navigating the weird space between holding on and letting go? Drop a comment below.