MapReduce

Danceintime runs Cuban Salsa Classes & Social Dancing Every Saturday, all year-long. Come at 1:15 pm to sign in. Stay till 4 pm. Some of us go out for coffee or a bite to eat afterwards and everyone is welcome! $15/person. Cash, PayPal, Venmo, Apple Pay, or Card accepted. Chevy Chase Baptist Church; 5671 Western Ave. NW; Washington DC 20015. NOTE: Enter through back corner door of the church. Danceintime classes are great fun. The dance moves are beautiful, fun, and our class creates a bonded community... Check it out! Class will be held every Saturday in December....celebrate the holidays with dance! For more info: danceintime.com/classes Questions? Contact Barbbernsteintalks@gmail.com

**Every six months, to honor the passing of the Vernal and Autumnal Equinox, the circle hosts a potluck at the pavilion in front of the fire pit. We don't keep track of who will bring what behind-the-scenes, so feel free to bring whatever you'd like!** **If you have any dietary restrictions and would like to attend, but worry there won't be anything you can eat, please reach out to Ethan or Ben and we'll make sure there's something available for you!** -- The[ Simplicity Living Study Circle of Northern VA](https://www.coachingwithdanijk.com/blog/important-community-update-join-our-new-meetup-group-simplicity-living-circle-of-northern-va) meets on the first Saturday of each month from 4:00 to 5:30 PM at Lacey Woods Park in Arlington, Virginia. **\*This is a rain or shine outdoor event.** This free community group offers a unique and empowering space for individuals seeking to live a simpler, more intentional life. Through participant-driven discussions and facilitated activities, our circle fosters connection, reflection, and mutual support. Hosted by members of the Simplicity Living Circle of Northern VA, we welcome those who are curious about simplicity, mindful living, and environmental care. Whether you are just beginning or deepening your journey, you are warmly invited into this inclusive and supportive space. *Note: Our official Meetup group changed due to administrative complications. This new group is now our verified and active community hub, which you can confirm at our in-person events.*

We'll check out Compass Coffee on Wisconsin in DC ( they have multiple locations). After the coffee meetup, we will check out Pizzeria Paradiso in Georgetown (few blocks from the coffee shop) for some sour and wild beers. If anyone is interested, you can join us around 2PM. Please have a picture profile so we can recognize you in the meetup. Please only sign up if you're sure about attending this meetup, and please update your RSVP as soon as possible if you need to cancel, thank you!

Let's get together to play some competitive coed doubles volleyball. **COST**: FREE **Court Type**: Outdoor grass **Minimum Skill Requirements**: Solid BB (click [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PojSi4qdlRsv1msCHhvpQ43iDc4FfzQwpWCc3kafVMY/mobilebasic) for details) Attention: 1. This event is **not always on a first come, first served basis**. [Good doubles partner](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14weEw-P52XKx0P8K2l-ZOFtYU61wmfdkSkopbG5avro/) and those who can bring a net and ball, may get priority over others on the waitlist. 2. Since skill levels are **self-reported**, some attendees may not meet the expected level in reality, so we encourage you to choose a partner you can enjoy the game with, and since this is a **competitive** event, it is okay if you make a strong team and win all the games. 3. Each person must help set up and take down one net, leaving some nets unset for latecomers. **Smiley Social documents:** 1. [Group Rules](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HrG35p_0M08leRvCp8XWG3CMkr_GL928XFabl5T6Dvg) 2. [Smiley Social Volleyball Levels](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PojSi4qdlRsv1msCHhvpQ43iDc4FfzQwpWCc3kafVMY/edit) 3. [Good doubles partner](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14weEw-P52XKx0P8K2l-ZOFtYU61wmfdkSkopbG5avro/) 4. [Liability Waiver](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W2mq-7m99lmvd7gdWYaSUFtvVg4UGnzV6koafAbHmco)

This is an opportunity to practice and hone your presentation skills for a friendly audience! Come ready to give a 5-minute presentation on a topic of your choice - whether it's a pitch to potential clients for your job, a niche hobby, or a special interest, all topics are welcome. Guests are encouraged to bring their own laptops. We will have access to a projector and HDMI cable to connect.

Join us after the walk for dinner at Royal Durbar Kitchen, a cozy Nepalese spot known for its rich flavors and warm atmosphere. Come hungry and ready to unwind with great food and even better company.

16.7 miles. [https://ridewithgps.com/routes/34512774 ](https://ridewithgps.com/routes/34512774)Picnic is at the Potomac Overlook 13 miles into the trail. Toilets are in the beginning, middle and end of the ride. We meet at the parking lot at Abner Cloud House at Fletcher's Cove. The group stops a few times for slower riders to catch up. The distance will be around 17 miles or shorter any time you are fully satisfied with biking for the day. Did you know that E-bike Lovers is an Amazon Affiliate? [https://ebikelovers.com/reviews](https://ebikelovers.com/reviews) FYI: Ride With GPS E-bike Lovers club membership is now free as [www.ebikelovers.com](http://www.ebikelovers.com/) is generating sufficient income from ads to cover the costs. Here is the link to activate your free membership: [https://ridewithgps.com/auto_approve/Club/6746/Zwa5jhttF5mJrFbN](https://ridewithgps.com/auto_approve/Club/6746/Zwa5jhttF5mJrFbN) The group stops a few times for slower riders to catch up. Please bring some snacks, lunch and plenty of water. Our bikes will be always in our sight. No additional locks are required to keep your bike safe on this trip. However, perhaps some people will decide to stop in Georgetown for a snack or lunch after the ride- so bring a lock just in case you would like to do that. For the E-bike Lovers group to be successful, we need to grow our membership carefully. Please feel free to invite other E-bike lovers, spread the word, and let's have fun. **Hill Alert: As usual, non-assisted bikers are most welcome, but be aware of the hills on this route.** About Fletcher's Cove: Fletcher's Cove, called by many customers "Fletcher's Boathouse", has been in this location since the 1850s and is renowned as a fishing and recreational area. The nearby Abner Cloud House is the oldest building on the canal, dating back to 1802. After 145 years of business, the fourth generation of the Fletcher family retired in 2004, and Guest Services Incorporated, a National Park Service concessionaire, assumed responsibility for the operation of the concessions. The area surrounding the boathouse was then officially named Fletcher's Cove, though most people still call it Fletcher's Boat House. About the C&O Canal: The Chesapeake and Ohio Canal operated from 1831 until 1924 along the Potomac River from Washington, D.C., to Cumberland, Maryland. The canal's principal cargo was coal from the Allegheny Mountains. The canal’s roots begin with George Washington’s dream of a waterway trade route. 74 locks were built. About the Labyrinth: One of the most interesting features in the park is the labyrinth, located towards the western end of the park. Labyrinths, which date back to ancient times, encourage contemplation on the journey from the outer edge along a circular path to the center. The TKF Foundation, a non-profit organization that promotes urban green spaces to facilitate community healing, provided funds for constructing the labyrinth and for a teak bench and a diary for visitors to use to record their experiences there. DISCLAIMER LIMITATION OF LIABILITY: TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW, NEITHER GREGORY MAASSEN, NATHAN MERRIS, RICHARD CAMER, TRIP COORDINATORS, THEIR AFFILIATES, FAMILY AND FORMER AND CURRENT EMPLOYERS NOR ANY OTHER PARTY INVOLVED IN CREATING, PRODUCING, OR DELIVERING E-BIKE LOVERS GUIDES, OUR MEETUP EVENTS, AND THE GPS E-TRAILS IS LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, INDIRECT, EXEMPLARY, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF A USER’S ACCESS TO, OR USE OF THE E-BIKE LOVERS GUIDES, OUR MEETUP EVENTS, AND THE GPS E-TRAILS. See for the full disclaimer: https://ebikelovers.com/disclaimer

📚 Do you love reading, but wish you had a structure and a community to share your insights with? Join our small circle of curious minds (just 4 members per gathering) as we come together for an hour of focused reading—in the calm setting of a library or the cozy atmosphere of a café. Here’s how it works: First part: Quiet reading on your own—bring a book you’re exploring, whether it’s philosophy, history, psychology, literature, or anything meaningful to you. Second part: We regroup and each person shares key takeaways, insights, or questions sparked by their reading. This sparks a structured yet free-flowing conversation around ideas, perspectives, and personal reflections. Why join? Add structure to your reading habit. Discover new books, authors, and ideas through others’ choices. Build real connections by sharing and listening deeply. Socialize around something meaningful instead of small talk.

We meet on Sundays at 8 a.m. for training runs on some of DC's best trails, including Rock Creek Park and the surrounding area. We typically meet at either Peirce Mill in Rock Creek Park, or Roosevelt Island, depending on the route. Details of the weekly schedule can be found here: https://new.vhtrc.org/runs/sip We hope you can join us for a run! All paces and levels of trail experience are welcome for these runs, which range in distance from 6 to 9 miles.

Title: Beyond Cryptography: Geometric Symmetry & Parity Stability Summary: Decoding Chaos: Using Quantum-Inspired Symmetry Metrics to Detect Stealth Attacks in High-Stakes Infrastructure. Agenda: Why symmetry matters after the proof is done. Symmetry as an Invariant Symmetry as a Security Primitive Trust as a Continuous Function Live Thought Experiment Engineering, Implications & Open Questions Move away from traditional bit-matching and discuss "Symmetry Drift." Explain how system states can be modeled as high-dimensional manifolds where an attack represents a geometric deformation.T(t)=f(symmetry stability,parity consistency,temporal coherence) Speaker: Vijay Krishna Vijay is a security engineer focused on runtime observability and symmetry drift in cryptographic systems. He is the founder of Vyapti Resonance and the creator of the Quantum Security Probe (QSP), a telemetry-driven integrity monitoring framework for post-quantum infrastructures. His work bridges theory, engineering, and long-lived system behavior, emphasizing measurable trust over binary verification. Vijay has 9 accredited licenses in Quantum Computing. Career Snapshot: Microsoft → DuPont → Rockefeller Capital Management → Morgan Stanley → New York Life → Founder, Vyapti Resonance Across this trajectory, Vijay has operated at the core infrastructure layer of organizations—cloud platforms, identity systems, distributed compute, reliability engineering, and governance frameworks. His work has consistently involved systems that cannot fail, particularly in regulated financial and insurance environments. This enterprise grounding strongly informs his academic and research outlook: quantum and AI systems must be operable, governable, auditable, and teachable, not merely theoretically elegant.

The Fellowship of the Star Schema: Transforming OLTP Data for Power BI One does not simply build reports on OLTP data. Join us on an epic journey from the depths of raw, normalized tables to the shining halls of a well-modeled star schema fit for Power BI greatness. We will demystify the differences between OLTP and OLAP, walk through star schema vs snowflake (and why Power BI has a clear favorite), and show you the compression differences between normalized and columnar storage that will make you never look at an OLTP model the same way again. We will cover the different types of dimensions, when to use them, and how to handle Slowly Changing Dimensions without losing your mind. You will leave knowing exactly how to identify a bad model, how to convert OLTP data into a clean star schema, and how to forge relationships that rule them all. Whether you are a data wizard, a curious hobbit, or somewhere in between, your models will never be the same.

Jimmy V's Grill & Pub in Grandview Heights. You are responsible for your own meal/drinks. We usually don't have any agenda other than eat, drink and talk. :) If the weather is nice we will be on the back patio, otherwise we are in the cigar room. This group has been meeting every Tuesday evening for over a decade. Many attendees do not RSVP on meetup. Please don't let the small number here discourage you. Anyone/everyone is welcome to come. We'd love to have you join us. COTA bus #5 comes to W. 5th and Wyandotte Rd. And it's a minute walk to the restaurant. *** Did you know that there are atheists everywhere?!?! You may not know it, but we are! We're in your schools, diners, police force, military, government, and some are even still in your churches! So come and join us and meet other local atheists, along with agnostics, heathens, humanists, skeptics, and anyone else who's 'hell bound'! Vision: a Central Ohio that accepts atheism as a viable alternative in all areas of public and private life. Mission: grow, support, and provide community for atheists in Central Ohio. Social meetings held most Tuesdays at a local pub/restaurant at 7:00 PM (and often into the wee hours). Attendees call themselves agnostics, skeptics, humanists, non-theists, deists or even theists. All attendees are welcome but should support our vision. Atheists of Columbus (AoC) is part of Omnipresent Atheists (OA). AoC members are invited to join this OA meetup and/or OA Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/omnipresentatheists/ ) but are free to continue conversations on the AoC Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/columbusatheists/ ). AoC was founded in 2012 as a networking, social group for Central Ohio area humanists, skeptics, atheists, agnostics, nonbelievers, freethinkers, and the curious. It was a member of Columbus CoR and held weekly meetings, mostly on Fridays, for several years but then operated as an online only group for some time. In November 2018, Omnipresent Atheists (OA), a group that routinely meets on Tuesdays, invited AoC to merge. Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason (ColumbusCoR.org). Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason ( http://www.ColumbusCoR.org ). Omnipresent Atheists endorses the mission of the Secular Coalition for America ( http://secular.org ).

Pay attention! We’re delaying a week for those of you who may be on Spring break and/or celebrating the holiday. Ok, no pancakes, but waffles-a-plenty. Join the local UX and Digital Design community for a casual monthly breakfast. Look for us upstairs!

Jimmy V's Grill & Pub in Grandview Heights. You are responsible for your own meal/drinks. We usually don't have any agenda other than eat, drink and talk. :) If the weather is nice we will be on the back patio, otherwise we are in the cigar room. This group has been meeting every Tuesday evening for over a decade. Many attendees do not RSVP on meetup. Please don't let the small number here discourage you. Anyone/everyone is welcome to come. We'd love to have you join us. COTA bus #5 comes to W. 5th and Wyandotte Rd. And it's a minute walk to the restaurant. Did you know that there are atheists everywhere?!?! You may not know it, but we are! We're in your schools, diners, police force, military, government, and some are even still in your churches! So come and join us and meet other local atheists, along with agnostics, heathens, humanists, skeptics, and anyone else who's 'hell bound'! Vision: a Central Ohio that accepts atheism as a viable alternative in all areas of public and private life. Mission: grow, support, and provide community for atheists in Central Ohio. Social meetings held most Tuesdays at a local pub/restaurant at 7:00 PM (and often into the wee hours). Attendees call themselves agnostics, skeptics, humanists, non-theists, deists or even theists. All attendees are welcome but should support our vision. Atheists of Columbus (AoC) is part of Omnipresent Atheists (OA). AoC members are invited to join this OA meetup and/or OA Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/omnipresentatheists/ ) but are free to continue conversations on the AoC Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/columbusatheists/ ). AoC was founded in 2012 as a networking, social group for Central Ohio area humanists, skeptics, atheists, agnostics, nonbelievers, freethinkers, and the curious. It was a member of Columbus CoR and held weekly meetings, mostly on Fridays, for several years but then operated as an online only group for some time. In November 2018, Omnipresent Atheists (OA), a group that routinely meets on Tuesdays, invited AoC to merge. Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason (ColumbusCoR.org). Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason ( http://www.ColumbusCoR.org ). Omnipresent Atheists endorses the mission of the Secular Coalition for America ( http://secular.org ). This group has been meeting every Tuesday evening for over a decade. Many attendees do not RSVP on meetup. Please don't let the small number here discourage you. Anyone/everyone is welcome to come. We'd love to have you join us.

**The Data-Driven Brand: Using Analytics to Shape Perception** Can you use analytics to improve tacos? This being CBUSDAW, we think the answer is probably “yes”, but we’re not sure how to implement or test this theory. For our April meetup we’ve got Sara Kear, CMO of Condado Tacos, to investigate this delicious question. Sara will explore how she blends quantitative data and qualitative customer feedback to shape brand positioning and drive business decisions. We all know that marketing and analytics go way beyond attribution. Sara will show how Condado uses customer insights to inform product and pricing strategy. She’ll also highlight how Condado leverages customer feedback at scale to influence operational priorities, positioning marketing as the voice of the customer across the organization. In the last 12 years Condado has gone from one location in Columbus to 52 locations across 10 states, so we’re guessing there’s more to that growth than really good guac (though the guac probably helps). Ultimately, this talk focuses on the intersection of art and science—using data to inform creativity and build a brand that resonates with customers in a measurable way. **About Our Speaker** Sara Kear is Chief Marketing Officer at Condado Tacos, where she oversees brand, restaurant design, menu and pricing strategy, off-premise including catering, and customer data strategy. Since joining in 2021, she has helped grow the brand from 19 to 52 locations while building a data-driven marketing organization focused on loyalty and customer insights. Condado has since been named to the Inc. 5000, recognized as Breakout Retailer by Chain Store Age, and consistently ranked among FastCasual’s Top 100 Movers & Shakers. Thanks to our 2026 sponsors: [Clarivoy](https://www.clarivoy.com), [What Box Consulting Group](https://www.whatboxconsultinggroup.com), [Conductrics](https://www.conductrics.com), and [Piwik PRO](https://piwik.pro) More info at [cbusdaw.com](https://cbusdaw.com)

Jimmy V's Grill & Pub in Grandview Heights. We meet in the bar in the room on the right (the cigar shop). You are responsible for your own meal/drinks. We usually don't have any agenda other than eat, drink and talk. :) If the weather is nice we will be on the back patio, otherwise we are in the cigar room. This group has been meeting every Tuesday evening for over a decade. Many attendees do not RSVP on meetup. Please don't let the small number here discourage you. Anyone/everyone is welcome to come. We'd love to have you join us. COTA bus #5 comes to W. 5th and Wyandotte Rd. And it's a minute walk to the restaurant. *** Did you know that there are atheists everywhere?!?! You may not know it, but we are! We're in your schools, diners, police force, military, government, and some are even still in your churches! So come and join us and meet other local atheists, along with agnostics, heathens, humanists, skeptics, and anyone else who's 'hell bound'! Vision: a Central Ohio that accepts atheism as a viable alternative in all areas of public and private life. Mission: grow, support, and provide community for atheists in Central Ohio. Social meetings held most Tuesdays at a local pub/restaurant at 7:00 PM (and often into the wee hours). Attendees call themselves agnostics, skeptics, humanists, non-theists, deists or even theists. All attendees are welcome but should support our vision. Atheists of Columbus (AoC) is part of Omnipresent Atheists (OA). AoC members are invited to join this OA meetup and/or OA Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/omnipresentatheists/ ) but are free to continue conversations on the AoC Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/columbusatheists/ ). AoC was founded in 2012 as a networking, social group for Central Ohio area humanists, skeptics, atheists, agnostics, nonbelievers, freethinkers, and the curious. It was a member of Columbus CoR and held weekly meetings, mostly on Fridays, for several years but then operated as an online only group for some time. In November 2018, Omnipresent Atheists (OA), a group that routinely meets on Tuesdays, invited AoC to merge. Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason (ColumbusCoR.org). Omnipresent Atheists is a member of the Columbus Coalition of Reason ( http://www.ColumbusCoR.org ). Omnipresent Atheists endorses the mission of the Secular Coalition for America ( http://secular.org ).

AI is changing how art is made. But when does it stop being your work and start being the machine’s? This month we're going to be doing a panel with with digital image, music, and written word artists, talking about at what point, while using AI in the creation process, does the work become not the artist creation? We encourage audience participation during this event that will be moderated by Chris Slee. Whether you’re deep in the field or just getting curious, come connect with others building and exploring AI in Columbus. Sponsored by [Transform Labs](https://www.transformlabs.com/services)