Satan

The Fellowship of the Star Schema: Transforming OLTP Data for Power BI One does not simply build reports on OLTP data. Join us on an epic journey from the depths of raw, normalized tables to the shining halls of a well-modeled star schema fit for Power BI greatness. We will demystify the differences between OLTP and OLAP, walk through star schema vs snowflake (and why Power BI has a clear favorite), and show you the compression differences between normalized and columnar storage that will make you never look at an OLTP model the same way again. We will cover the different types of dimensions, when to use them, and how to handle Slowly Changing Dimensions without losing your mind. You will leave knowing exactly how to identify a bad model, how to convert OLTP data into a clean star schema, and how to forge relationships that rule them all. Whether you are a data wizard, a curious hobbit, or somewhere in between, your models will never be the same.

http://photos2.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/2/a/9/6/600_348310902.jpeg Instructor - Crow, HPS Class fee is $30 at the door or approved exchange RSVP with Advance pay of $25 (discounted) by PayPal on the web or by contacting Enchanted Elements (614) 437-2642. Reservations made directly to Enchanted Elements will be added to the class list manually not online. Private Instruction ~ Closed to the Public ~ Initiated Members Only Please come prepared for ritual. Blessings ~ Crow

No person who seeks *true* justice can do so for long without recognizing the necessity of regular, close looks in the mirror. It has been said that the sins we hate most strongly in others are often ones with which we ourselves struggle. If one is not careful, our zeal to see wrongs righted can cause blind spots in our own lives. David knew this intimately. While literally on the run for his life from his enemies, he did not hesitate to call out the sins and wrongdoings of those evildoers, asking God to vindicate him, and to judge the wicked; and yet on multiple occasions, most famously in the adultery against and murder of one of his own friends, David had to reckon with the fact that he, himself, was the one who did evil, sinning against God and man. The only hope for David and the only hope for every human is the perfect justice, mercy, and grace that are found in the Lord, the One, as David later would write, "Who forgives your sins, Who heals your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit..." \~Psalm 103. We will continue our study in Psalms, looking at [chapters 5](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%205&version=NIV) and [6](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%206&version=NIV), **6:30 pm,** **Tuesday, April 21, 2026, at True Food Kitchen, Easton Town Center**. We would love to have you join us! Get your tickets on [EventBrite](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/columbus-a-study-in-psalms-psalm-5-and-6-tickets-1983924798478)! Connect with us on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/events/1198570342056669)!

**The Data-Driven Brand: Using Analytics to Shape Perception** Can you use analytics to improve tacos? This being CBUSDAW, we think the answer is probably “yes”, but we’re not sure how to implement or test this theory. For our April meetup we’ve got Sara Kear, CMO of Condado Tacos, to investigate this delicious question. Sara will explore how she blends quantitative data and qualitative customer feedback to shape brand positioning and drive business decisions. We all know that marketing and analytics go way beyond attribution. Sara will show how Condado uses customer insights to inform product and pricing strategy. She’ll also highlight how Condado leverages customer feedback at scale to influence operational priorities, positioning marketing as the voice of the customer across the organization. In the last 12 years Condado has gone from one location in Columbus to 52 locations across 10 states, so we’re guessing there’s more to that growth than really good guac (though the guac probably helps). Ultimately, this talk focuses on the intersection of art and science—using data to inform creativity and build a brand that resonates with customers in a measurable way. **About Our Speaker** Sara Kear is Chief Marketing Officer at Condado Tacos, where she oversees brand, restaurant design, menu and pricing strategy, off-premise including catering, and customer data strategy. Since joining in 2021, she has helped grow the brand from 19 to 52 locations while building a data-driven marketing organization focused on loyalty and customer insights. Condado has since been named to the Inc. 5000, recognized as Breakout Retailer by Chain Store Age, and consistently ranked among FastCasual’s Top 100 Movers & Shakers. Thanks to our 2026 sponsors: [Clarivoy](https://www.clarivoy.com), [What Box Consulting Group](https://www.whatboxconsultinggroup.com), [Conductrics](https://www.conductrics.com), and [Piwik PRO](https://piwik.pro) More info at [cbusdaw.com](https://cbusdaw.com)

Some trained COUNT volunteers work together once a month at RMH (http://www.rmhc-centralohio.org/volunteer.php) as Housewarmers (usually on the 1st Sunday from 1 – 5 PM). Some schedule other shifts at their convenience. You may try this out with less fuss by following a "Fast track" or go through the normal process. Fast track • Arrange a time to shadow a COUNT volunteer. Call Dave Nohle at 614-268-9558 (cell). • Show up and try it out. • Complete application, etc. later. Normal process • Complete an online application (http://rmhc-centralohio.org/volunteer/). • Attend orientation in advance. • At orientation you will complete forms agreeing to keep family/patient info private and allowing a background check and tour the facility. • Complete one training shift. Daily shifts are: morning 9 AM - 1 PM, afternoon 1 - 5 PM and evening 5 - 9 PM. • Schedule shifts online using the on the RMH scheduling system (http://www.volgistics.com/ex/portal.dll/?FROM=32895). The Ronald McDonald House (RMH) provides housing and meals for families with sick children. The Columbus RMH is the largest in the world with 137 rooms. COUNT has been volunteering there since May 2014. Housewarmers work with RMH guests to provide a home-like environment - greet, assist with family needs, answer phones, give tours, assist with checkin/checkout, prepare guest rooms after checkout, clean facility, laundry, restock supplies and staff the front desk. RMH Housewarmers volunteer at least one four-hour shift a month. All Housewarmers must complete an application and agree to a background check before they can be full fledged volunteers.

The April Ohio North Database Training user group meeting will be held on **April 7th, 2026 at 5:00PM**. This will be a **HYBRID** event and we will be joined online by **Kayla Boor**. You're welcome to come meet in-person at our meeting location, the offices of Improving at **[6000 Freedom Square Dr,](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Improving/@41.4004167,-81.6614462,17z/data=!3m2!4b1!5s0x8830e5b8255c5919:0xd8297060eb68fe04!4m6!3m5!1s0x8830dc7a0fe35dc9:0xbfc4710ecadfc5c!8m2!3d41.4004127!4d-81.6588713!16s%2Fg%2F1hm3hkqp3?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDQzMC4xIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D)** **[Unit 110,](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Improving/@41.4004167,-81.6614462,17z/data=!3m2!4b1!5s0x8830e5b8255c5919:0xd8297060eb68fe04!4m6!3m5!1s0x8830dc7a0fe35dc9:0xbfc4710ecadfc5c!8m2!3d41.4004127!4d-81.6588713!16s%2Fg%2F1hm3hkqp3?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDQzMC4xIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D)** **[Independence, OH 44131](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Improving/@41.4004167,-81.6614462,17z/data=!3m2!4b1!5s0x8830e5b8255c5919:0xd8297060eb68fe04!4m6!3m5!1s0x8830dc7a0fe35dc9:0xbfc4710ecadfc5c!8m2!3d41.4004127!4d-81.6588713!16s%2Fg%2F1hm3hkqp3?entry=ttu&g_ep=EgoyMDI1MDQzMC4xIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D)** [Teams Link ](https://teams.microsoft.com/meet/22562814501129?p=w1cSxeUXFTVeIpZiMw)if anyone needs it after RSVP-ing for in person. If you would like to subscribe to our email list outside of Meetup, we have changed platforms recently and you will need to register [here in Kit ](https://ohio-north-data-training.kit.com/b8f036f615)instead to receive emails. Agenda: **5:00 PM EST**: Online and in-person meeting begins with a social hour. This is an unstructured hour where you can join us to catch up and meet other group members before the session starts. There will be food brought in for in-person attendees. **6:00 PM EST**: Updates and announcements, followed by our feature presentation. See below for presentation details. **7:30 PM EST**: Optionally after the main presentations, the in-person crowd may go out for snacks and drinks at a local establishment. We hope to see you there! Session Abstract **Accidental friends: How a DBA and an SRE worked together to optimize the system.** This session is focused on how to communicate effectively between teams to improve alert fatigue, performance, and observability. \*\*NEW SPEAKER \*Please note, that we will be using Microsoft Teams for the online portion of this meeting. You may want to join a few minutes early to ensure you do not have any issues. If you are attending in person, there are large TVs at the office, and you do not need to bring a laptop or use Teams.

Sleep in on Sundays. When you've had your fill of pajama-time, roll out and have some tasty brunch with your fellow Humanists!