**How to actually get what you crave in your relationships —** whether that's with the person you're already with or the next one.

Here's the pattern: the distant one you have to chase feels magnetic, and the available one who likes you (or who you're with) feels boring or disappointing.

If that's you — welcome.

This attachment pattern even has a name - the Mr. Darcey effect.
Feeling like it's hard to get what you want out of the connection - but want it even more, sometimes to the point of obsession and anger.

And, even if your NOT experiencing it now - everyone has in the past. And, it could be impacting your current relationship.

This hour covers:

* **Why unavailable feels exciting** **or infuriating**, and available feels flat and boring
* **The subtypes most people miss**, including high-functioning avoidant and reactive anxious
* **Real stories** of this dynamic from couples therapy
* **Mr. Darcy to Mr. Big to Ted Lasso: how the avoidant man shows up in our favorite stories** — and what the shift from "cold and mysterious" to "in therapy and trying" says about what we actually want from men now
* **Why chasing an avoidant backfires** — and how to draw them in
* how your parents' patterns are still shaping who you fall for
* **Why you keep going for what's hard to get** — very common in over-achievers

Come if you always want the ones you can't have. Or if you're with someone and you're tired of begging and explaining what you need for the hundredth time.

You'll leave knowing your attachment sub-pattern and what to do about it.

You'll have fun connecting with other relationship nerds and enjoy hearing stories and learning new ways to think about things.

Send your questions ahead of time and we'll answer them live — anonymously, so ask the real one.

Everyone who attends gets a free in-depth assessment that goes far deeper than any quiz out there.

Led by a PhD psychologist, relationship expert, and board-certified sexologist.

Hosted by: Spark Theory.

Relationship Lab: Modern Dating, Marriage, Attachment Styles

Dr. Britt

Peter D

Alyssa Meyer

Lindsey Rogers

Ronald Woolacott 

4kevineaton

Vikki

kimbraleafreeman97

Lamar Lewis

Vernon Robinson

Nick

Reid Saunders 

Sabrina 

Raul Raulito

donnomilligano

Drea Lynn 

Angela 

Gennelle Chatman

Langley Taber

Erica

Attachment Styles: Why You Always Want What You Can't Have

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Relationship Lab

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