How to Find Purpose? The "Regret" Compass & The Science of Connection

"If you died tomorrow, what would you regret not doing? And why are you waiting?"

EVENT PRICE: 200 THB

### Memento Mori, The "Liking Gap," and Why You Matter More Than You Think

Date: Saturday, February 21, 2026 Time: 12:00 PM (Noon) Location: Socrates Cafe Chiang Mai

Finding purpose often feels like trying to solve a complex riddle. We look for a "Grand Mission," but we miss the obvious signposts.
This week, we are combining two powerful psychological frameworks to triangulate our purpose: The Perspective of Death (Memento Mori) and The Science of Connection.
We will explore how "Regret" is actually a tool—a compass that points to what we value most. Simultaneously, we will dismantle the social anxiety that keeps us from acting on those values, using research that proves people are more interested in us than we think.

### Key Concepts We Will Explore

1. The "Regret" Anchor (Memento Mori) Inaction haunts us more than failure. Dying patients rarely regret the mountain they failed to climb; they regret the mountain they never attempted. We will use the question of mortality not to depress us, but to "awaken" us to what still matters while we are capable of change.
2. The Optimism of Connection Research shows we are overly pessimistic about social interactions. We fear judgment, but others are usually just focused on themselves. When we do interact, people like us more than we assume. Purpose is often found in the frequency of these small, positive interactions rather than one intense achievement.
3. The "Leaky Tire" Theory of Happiness Purpose isn't a permanent state; it's a tire that leaks. We need to "pump it up" daily through small acts of reciprocity—a nod, a smile, a moment of listening.
4. The Physics of Closeness
How close are the people in your life? Psychologists map connection as "overlapping circles." True purpose often involves moving your circle closer to others until "Me" becomes "We."

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### Workshop Outline: "From Regret to Connection"

Duration: 2 Hours Format: Interactive Discussion & Micro-Exercises

#### Phase 1: The Compass (Internal)

Based on the work of Jordan Grumet

• 12:15 PM - The "Memento Mori" Audit
• Concept: "Regret is deeply personal. No one else’s definition applies to you."
• Exercise: The 24-Hour Notice.
• Participants are asked: "If you found out today that you die tomorrow, what is the specific thing you regret never having the energy or courage to do?"
• Discussion: Differentiating between "Outcome Regret" (I didn't succeed) vs. "Inaction Regret" (I didn't try).
• 12:45 PM - Identifying the "Purpose Anchor"
• Concept: Using the regret identified above as a blueprint for the next 6 months.

#### Phase 2: The Vehicle (External)

Based on the work of Marianna Pogosyan

• 1:00 PM - The "Liking Gap" Challenge
• Concept: We miss out on purpose because we fear rejection.
• Discussion: The evidence that people are less judgmental than we fear.
• Exercise: The Reciprocity Test. Pair up with a stranger for 3 minutes. The goal is not to be "interesting," but to be "responsive" (nodding, smiling, listening). Debrief: How did it feel to be listened to?
• 1:30 PM - Mapping Your Circles
• Concept: Visualizing connection as physical distance.
• Activity: The "We" Map.
• Draw yourself as a circle. Draw the key people/communities in your life as other circles.
• Are they far apart? Touching? Overlapping?
• Actionable Step: Identify one person you want to move from "Touching" to "Overlapping" and one specific "micro-action" (leaky tire pump) you can do this week to close the gap.

#### Phase 3: Integration

• 2:30 PM - The Commitment
• "Fear kept them from pursuing what mattered. And now, it’s too late."
• Group pledge to take one action on their "Purpose Anchor" before the next meetup.