If He Is Too Long on Dating Apps, He Is Trash

Socrates Café Chiang Mai: The Delusion of Endless Options and the Courage to Commit
📍 Location: Hideaway Restaurant 📆 Date: Saturday, May 23 ⏰ Time: 12:00 PM (Noon) 💰 Entry: 200 THB
I recently went to an event about being “happily single,” and one exchange stood out to me.
A man shared his experience: after the first date, he knew he wanted to be with her. The woman, on the other hand, said she needed more dates. She wanted to “see if it was true” and explore her options with other people who had invited her out.
In that moment, I told him directly: Listen, if someone wants to stay on dating applications for life, they are trash. You do not use dating apps to live on them. You get on them to find a partner, get off the app, and try to build a relationship. Building a relationship is a process that requires actual effort.
It is a complete delusion to think that you have endless choices. Real freedom starts with a choice. If you never make a choice, you are not really free.
At this Socrates Café, we are going to cut through the illusions of modern romance and explore how to date mindfully in an age of constant swiping.

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### Recommended Reading & Thinkers (To Prepare)

To deepen our discussion, you may want to look into:

• Barry Schwartz – The Paradox of Choice
• Why having more options actually leads to less satisfaction and decision paralysis.
• Zygmunt Bauman – Liquid Love
• Explores the fragility of modern human bonds and the shift toward easily disposable, transactional relationships.
• Erich Fromm – The Art of Loving
• The argument that love is not a passive feeling you fall into, but an active discipline and a conscious choice.

### Questions We Will Ask Together

• Is the desire to "keep options open" a sign of true freedom or a symptom of fear?
• At what point does exploring your options cross the line into toxic behavior?
• Why do we confuse having endless matches on a screen with having actual romantic freedom?
• What does it truly mean to date mindfully and intentionally in the digital age?
• How do we shift from the delusion of infinite choice to the reality of building a relationship?

This is a space for honest, uncomfortable, and meaningful dialogue. Come ready to think.
Best regards,
Stefan Ručman Moderator