Unfortunately, on  Meetup, there seems to be a widespread lapse in courtesy as far as RSVP's are concerned.  It's a known problem that people will RSVP Yes, not change their RSVP if plans change, and just not show up.  This is unfair to the Meetup  host and the Meetup organizer, as well as being just plain bad manners.  This is especially a problem in Meetups involving food, where reservations have been made and a waiter's table is being kept from other use (cutting into their tips) or where the Meetup host has made arrangements for a certain number of people and if a potluck where fellow Meetup members have gone to the trouble to plan, shop, and cook for people who said they'd be there. (To be clear, changing your RSVP more than 24 hours in advance of the Meetup is perfectly fine because it allowed your host and fellow members to take that into consideration when shopping and cooking.  Also, a medical excuse or a car not starting are valid excuses for a shorter RSVP change.)

We've also had occasions in past where there was a wait list and the person who didn't change their RSVP (or waited until the last minute until changing it) kept someone who really would attend from being able to do so by taking their space.

An example of this occurred this past weekend.  For the Moroccan Potluck, there were 20 people still RSVP'd Yes at the time of the Meetup.  (Others had changed their RSVP in advance.)  Four, including the host and her husband, attended.  The hostess had to drive an hour to the venue to open it up and prepare for the 20 people who were supposedly coming and bringing food.  This is not good.

For a while in years past we charged an RSVP fee, paid online and returned if you actually showed up, added to the waiter's tip or given to the host for their trouble if you didn't.  We got away from that as we've had other Event Hosts organizing the meetups, but as a result the problem returned.

I'm considering bringing back the fee, but first I'm throwing this out there for suggestions from the members as to what would make you take your RSVP seriously enough to actually change it if your plans change.  What would motivate you?  I'll consider all suggestions.

Tricia Jumonville, Chief Cook & Bottle Washer

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