The end of a romantic relationship can be one of the most challenging periods in life, whether it’s your first time experiencing it or you’ve been down that road before. It’s also important to remember that breakups are difficult for both parties, regardless of who broke up with whom, or if it was a mutual decision.
Everybody’s situation is unique and personal, but there are some commonalities among breakups that actually make internet advice about moving on really helpful. Although sudden singleness can feel really isolating, it’s an incredibly common experience that almost every person will go through at some point. In fact, it’s not rare for a new year to bring about major re-evaluations and life changes.
So if you’re newly single, the first step is to keep in mind that—despite how hard it seems at times—what you’re going through is not only normal, but healthy. Learning how to pick yourself up and be your own friend during a lonely time is a skill with lifelong benefits. The confidence and self-assuredness you work on now may even become a huge contributor to future success in romantic partnerships. Here are four tips for moving on toward a brighter tomorrow.
1. Be patient with yourself
Right after a breakup, it can be enticing to feel “moved on” as quickly as possible. You may try to get “over it” really fast, wanting to avoid the pain associated with the end of your relationship.
Although the goal should be moving on, the process is, after all, a movement. It takes time to get from point A to point B. Giving yourself space to truly feel your breakup will probably hurt—but just like when you administer rubbing alcohol on a cut, the painful sensation is a normal part of the healing process. If you avoid that pain now, the emotional wound will only fester and turn into a more serious problem down the line.
Let yourself express your sadness. Allow yourself a dedicated amount of time to simply sit with your feelings and nurture yourself, maybe curled up under a blanket, eating a bowl of ice cream, and watching bad reality TV. But don’t be idle for too long. Talk with friends, loved ones, or even a mental health counselor about your situation. Then make a plan to move on the right way with the next tips.
2. Form healthy habits
Change your perspective on singleness, and take advantage of free time by pursuing hobbies that improve your mood, health, and social life. The possibilities are endless, and the opportunities are plentiful with Meetup groups.
For example, you could open new doors by learning a second (or third, or fourth . . .) language with a community like The Houston French Language and Culture Meetup Group, or try out a bunch of different languages and discover your new passion with a group like the Chicago Language Cafe.
If you want to express your inner feelings in a constructive way, try joining a creative community like the NYC laid-back writing group. For those who want healthy distraction, active groups such as
We Hike to Heal | Atlanta Chapter provide opportunities for self-discovery by conquering uphill climbs.
Sometimes an unexpected breakup leads to a loss of confidence. In this case, Meetup groups that support skill-learning can do a world of good. Boost your self-esteem by taking on a new craft or musical instrument with communities like North Shore Pints and Purls or Songwriting Meetup (Events) at Songsmith LA.
3. Seek out more specific communities of support if you need them
For a wide variety of reasons, some breakups can be more complicated, drawn-out, and overall more emotionally draining than others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re in one of these difficult situations. Even though you may feel isolated at times, the truth is that you’re not alone—many people have experienced similar hardships, and lots of those folks are around to share the wisdom they gained from their own journeys.
If you’re going through a divorce, there are support groups that can help you with everything from deciphering legalese to coping with loss and eventually moving forward and thriving. Communities like An Evening with Divorce Specialists host virtual info sessions you can attend from anywhere.
When you feel ready to enter the dating pool again, consider joining a group to meet single friends for a simple and relaxed way to wade in. Meetup groups like SD Fun Social Singles 45+ attract people of all lifestyles and backgrounds, and you’re bound to meet a few interesting people you click with.
4. Build your own fulfilling social sphere
You don’t have to be an expert to gather people through a common interest. Enthusiasm goes a long way! Plus, the point is to connect and grow by learning from one another. No matter how you like to spend your free time, it’s easy to create your own Meetup group and invite others to bond over that shared passion.
Last modified on September 22, 2023
