Women have the power to bring fresh perspectives to their work and disrupt industries with their bold visions for change. Alexandra Fine is doing exactly that in the sexual health and wellness industry. In this interview, Alexandra (they/them), CEO of Dame, explains how they met their co-founder through the Meetup network, and shares advice for how to start a business that will help anyone across the gender spectrum.
What drew you to Meetup? What was your first group?
I wanted to find like-minded individuals and learn hard skills. NY Hardware Startup was the first group I joined on Meetup. This group brings together a strong community—it has more than 6,000 members—of folks eager to build businesses with physical products.
Describe your business, Dame. How does it support women’s health?
Dame is a sexual wellness company. We design products that help cultivate pleasure and intimacy. It’s a company that promotes health for women, but it’s not limited to women. We make products for anyone, though all of our products are designed with vulvas in mind. Not all vulva-havers are women, of course, so our customers vary.
That being said, women are four times more likely to say sex has not been pleasurable in the past year. This is a problem we want to address. Enjoyable sex is a part of living a healthy life. It’s also a key factor in keeping romance alive in a partnership.
How did you meet your company’s co-founder/your former business partner?
My co-founder, Janet Lieberman-Lu, was joining every Meetup group that I was joining but she would always attend the group’s events the month after me. We kept hearing about each other. She’d meet someone, tell them what she was interested in creating, and then they’d mention me because we had similar interests.
So she found out who I was, emailed me, and we got brunch to talk through some ideas. The rest is history, or “herstory,” as some say.
What challenges do you think women face when trying to start a business?
It’s difficult to start a business. It’s also hard if you are a woman. Women raise less money than men do when launching businesses. They also have more domestic responsibilities on average. On the other hand, being a woman (and personally, I should share that I feel like more than a woman) also allows me to take up spaces that men don’t occupy.
I have the opportunity to approach business differently. I don’t want to do it the way others have, I want to create tools for pleasure while creating a pleasurable environment for my employees. I don’t want to hustle. To me, hustling has a connotation of discomfort. I want to create value through pleasurable practices.
Sometimes I wonder if I’d feel more like a woman if it were easier to launch a business as one. It is easier to understand someone when they speak your language. Trust, friendship, and understanding all come a little bit faster after establishing shared cultures, backgrounds, and interests. In this case, since most businesses are run by men, if you aren’t a man it is harder to create that bond. I also think the world hasn’t watched as many women succeed, so it’s harder to bet on them to succeed. I hope we can make some progress and change this perception.
How did you come up with the idea for Dame?
I wanted to create better products for pleasure. I have an M.A. in psychology and have always focused on intimacy, sex, relationships in my studies. There’s so much cultural shame around these topics and it stands in the way of innovation. It was clear to me that by having open conversations about sex, intimacy, and pleasure we can create better products and promote healthier lifestyles.
Do you have any advice for women looking to start a business?
First, trust your gut. Intuition is a valuable tool. Use your voice; don’t be afraid of your masculinity or your femininity.
When running your business, take small, deliberate steps that align with your values and purpose. Know your values and stick to them. Track at least three KPIs (key performance indicators) each week to measure your progress.
Last modified on January 9, 2024
