Our group is small and casual, not large and snobby. It's been theorized that these elaborate taste tests are actually just excuses to eat. Go figure. We do this "blind," meaning we don't reveal the brands until the end. Below is a rambling summary of the taste tests we've had so far. The rating scale ranges from 1 to 10, with 1 being awful, disgusting and pukey and 10 being sublime, transcendent and occasionally orgasmic.
VANILLA ICE CREAM
The quality in the ice creams we tasted varied wildly. We saw some of the highest and lowest scores ever. Local Lochmead Farms (rich, creamy and not overly sweet) won with an average score of 8.8. Haagen Dazs came in 2nd. Oregon's Umpqua was weak and icy, but worst of all was Safeway with an average score of 2. We repeat, 2. That was not a typo.
Brand Ranking: Lochmead Farms, Haagen Dazs, Three Twins Organic, Ben and Jerry's, Umpqua, Safeway.
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CHEESECAKE
Portland cheesecake sucks. There, we said it. And not only does it suck, but it was incredibly hard to find. After numerous fist fights broke out, we learned that cheesecake lovers fall into two camps. The light and fluffy camp vs the dense and creamy camp. So, the results: We're sad to announce that the best cheesecake comes from a chain, The Cheesecake Factory. Second place was a tie between Mehri's and Whole Foods. Worst cheesecake goes to Safeway. But the most important lesson is this: First decide which camp you're in. If you're light and fluffy, go with Cheesecake Factory or Papa Haydn's. If you're dense and creamy go with the others.
Brand Ranking: Cheesecake Factory, Mehri's, Whole Foods, Papa Haydn, Portland Style, Safeway.
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FROZEN PIZZA
Again, it was damned surprising how different all these pizzas are. DiGiorno came out the winner, but it was statistically really a 3 way tie for first place between DiGiorno, Newman's Own and Amy's. Many concluded, "Go with Newman's Own since they give all their profits to charity." Kashi was lousy and utterly flavorless, but the "totally disgusting" award and last place finisher was California Pizza Kitchen. Perhaps the rotten taste of the cheese was because we got an expired box? No such luck. CPK really, truly tastes like that.
Best Taster Award: Dan
Best Brand Identifier: Denise
Brand Ranking: DiGiorno's, Newman's Own, Amy's, Red Baron, Freschetta, Kashi, California Pizza Kitchen.
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DONUTS
This event was predicted to be a snoozer since how different can a simple glazed donut be? Very different it turns out. Sesame Donuts came out the winner with a staggering score of 8.4 while Krispy Kreme placed second. Entenmann's was the worst (2.6) and had folks longing for the childhood days of eating Play Doh and dirt. Surprise of the night was the lame 3rd place showing of Voo Doo which for some reason has a great reputation in this town.
Best Taster Award: Justin and Mike
Best Brand Identifier: Justin
Brand Ranking: Sesame, Krispy Kreme, Voo Doo, Donut Queen, Tonalli's, Entenmann's.
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BROWNIES
The #1 kick ass brownie is New Seasons. Not only did it have the right amount of sugar and chocolate, but the texture was excellent, ie, not too cakie yet not too fudgie. Placing 2nd was La Petite Provence. The low scorer was unanimous and damned surprising; Sweetpea bakery with an all time record low score of 2.5. Icky! Something tasted seriously bad in there. Some thought it was the baking soda/powder while others believe we got a "bad batch." But let's not forget the gag inducing brownies from Fred Meyer's which one member ingeniously called "Sludgy."
Best Taster Award: Brendon
Best Brand Identifier: Crystal and Denise
Brand Ranking: New Seasons, La Petite Provence, Whole Foods, Fred Meyer's, Sweetpea.
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DARK CHOCOLATE
This must be a prized food because members had serious looks of concentration on their faces. Lindt lived up to it's reputation by placing 1st while Scharfenberger came in 2nd. Endangered Species ranked last but was closely followed by Newman's Own. Since we're optimists we like to think that these charitable groups are too busy with their causes to have the time to taste their own chocolate. Surprise of the night was Hershey's Dark which people either loved or hated.
Best Taster Award: Crystal
Best Brand Identifier: Jules
Brand Ranking: Lindt, Scharfenberger, Hershey's Dark, Trader Joe's, Valrhona, Newman's Own, Endangered Species.
We'll be tasting vinegars from Benessere!! Coupled with olive oil and delicious bread, this is sure to be YUMMY:-) We'll have a few beers, some wine and agua on tap.... Learn more
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We'll be tasting jellies from Portland!! We'll have a few beers, some wine and agua on tap. This meet up will be easy since the food will be supplied by us. We... Learn more
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