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The Start of our FAll/WINTER Socials and Workshops are HERE!


Exciting Workshops to Come!

Hi Friends,

As promised, this weekend is the start of our fall and
winter workshops.  This event is socialand also conversational.  You will meet
some of the nicest people to share your conversations with!

As I spoke about in the workshop descriptions, we are going
to get started in the first steps of our workshops with getting to know
ourselves and understanding where we are in the process of building or
re-building our lives after being single for a long time, after a traumatic
divorce or the loss of a dear spouse. 

Before you ever start to date, you need to take an
assessment of where you are in your head and your heart.  We will be asking ourselves a series of
questions about this issue.  Then you
will discuss among your table mates, about those stages and help each other to
identify them. 

There are people just starting this process, known as “getting
out of the gate”.

There are people who are well into the re-building and
dating process, known as “riding the wave”.

Then there are those that are where they want to be but want
to maintain friendships or their relationships. 

Each level will help the other to identify what they went
through, are going through and what to expect. 

Is your head in the right place yet to begin the dating

Do you know what you now want in the life that you will
design for yourself after your loss?

Can you see a clear picture of what you want?  How do we do that!?

When should one begin to date after a divorce or loss?

What are the results or the consequenses if you start before
you are ready?

What should you do to ready yourself?

Not interested in dating? That is fine!  But what should you do to re-build or simply
build the life you want?

How and where do I go to make friends? 

Here is one important thing to keep in mind:

We are NOT the same people as we were in our 20’s.  When we were that age, we believed in the piein the sky, that good things would come to us. 
We would find the right man or woman and live happily ever after.  While many of us have had many good years, we have come to find out through divorce, that there are bad and really bad years-during and even after divorce.
We had kids, homes and lives and now that the kids are gone, the ex is an ex,  now we are faced with a whole other life before us!

This is YOUR time. 
This is YOUR time to design the life you had always hoped for---to be
who you always wanted to be!

The life we design today, will be the life we have for
tomorrow. Don’t you want that life to be rewarding? I know that I did!  That is why I have never given up! No, I am not perfect and you are not perfect but heck, we are still in the game and trying!  Through the good, the bad, the
really bad, the disappointing, the excitement…through it all!  We are still moving forward and NOT giving up on our dream of a good life.  That dream
may include just you OR it may include finding someone who is going to
compliment your life.  Either way, we have to walk the walk, do the work-whatever phrase you wish, we still have to get out there and do that! 

So why not educate ourselves this time around and hopefully,
YES HOPEFULLY, not to make the same mistakes as we have in the past. 

You will share your mistakes and experiences with your table
mates, if you wish, they with you and you will both learn from each other.

So friends, come and share this journey with friends that
have a lot in common with you.  Can’t afford therapy?  Can’t afford books or
you find that kind of reading boring? Well I can assure you, our tables and the chat around those tables are not boring!  You will laugh, you may cry,
you will think and you will feel.  You will heal. You will share, BUT……… you will be moving forward!

See you all on Sunday!

Fena, Lori G. (the Queen of Chat) and your host of



REMEMBER there is a social following this workshop where people will share food and drink and conversation! 

Description of the workshops:

We had our first Sunday Social of the Fall/Winter Season this last Sunday! About 40 people
attended and what a great time we all had!

Lori G, the Queen of our Chat Rooms and her trusty “side kick” Dee, brought along a couple of newbies that we all met through chat and had the great fortune to meet in person. It was so great to meet them! I think the new people, Barb and Sri, will tell you all that it was not as difficult as they feared, to get out of the house and come meet new people. As a matter of fact, when I left, they were both there enjoying the evening talking with new friends, with smiles on their faces by the way!

THAT is exactly what our socials and workshops are about. Bringing good people together to enjoy friendship, learn something new and to help others along their journey of
healing and putting themselves back together and creating a new, more exciting
and better life.

So, now the start of our workshops are upon us!

In talking to my co-horts, Queen Lori G and our new friend Steven Urich, we are working together to create a series of interesting, insightful and informative workshops.

Here is the outline of what we are working on:

There will be three levels of our workshops and in each level, there will be several workshops designed to help people through important stages of building a better life for themselves and for dating.

What we will need though is people of all experience levels. You may read the descriptions of each of these workshops and you may not think some of these workshops are for you because you have already been through and experienced what we are working on.
WRONG! There are others going through that very same thing and they are going to need YOUR experience and input! So these workshops are for all! You will find that it is beneficial for you in either learning something new or by sharing your experience and knowing that you helped someone else.

Here Goes:

The first level
over view:
Learning about YOU. This is where we will explore through our
workshops about learning how to deal with your emotions and helping you figure
out how to get through the difficult stages of loneliness, finding optimism,
the woes of thinking about starting over (“where do I begin?”), learning how to
get out and make friends and how to begin to help yourself think about the life
you WANT and creating the life that YOU design and not just take what is dealt

The second level
over view:
Learning about OTHERS. This level will explore what you NEED
to learn about others. Do you ever think WHY did I make that mistake? WHY did I not see who that person really
was? This level will help you learn about body
language, personality disorders, what and how the other sex thinks, the
expectations and needs of the opposite sex.
This is all so very important to learn so that you will make wiser
choices in the people you date and who you choose to have a serious
relationship with. (workshops: RED
FLAGS, WHAT IS A BODY SAYING, EXPECTATIONS: What do men want? What do women
want?, WHY DO MEN/WOMEN CHEAT, SEX-5 part series on sexuality over 50, after
divorce and widowhood and in dating)

Level three over view:
Maintaining, nurturing and creating an exciting and rewarding relationship. In this level we will explore how to put life and enjoyment into and maintain a really wonderful relationship. Yes, we all need to learn how to get out of the door and how to actually get out there and date. But what happens when you DO find the person that you are going to have a serious relationship with? Who teaches you those skills? Did your parents? Did your teachers? Most likely NOT! I know mine didn’t. We observe others and see what good and bad relationships look like but how do we know HOW to achieve that for ourselves? HOW do we maintain that? If you are out there dating, it is likely that you ARE going to meet someone! It may happen right away or it could take years but wouldn’t you want to know what those key things are to insure that this next relationship is the last one that you have?

We are currently working on these workshops because we have never done this part before! This is exciting and new so keep your eyes posted on the site to find out what those workshops are going to be about.

For those of you that are new, here is what to expect from
our workshops:

You will enter and pay the workshop fee ($5.00) and receive a name tag. Handouts and note paper and pen will be on the tables at each place setting.

The first half an hour is social. Come in, choose your table/moderator that you wish, drop your coat on the back of the chair, write your name on the back of your hand out so as to hold your place, grab a drink and make the rounds to meet and socialize with others. Some people bring snacks-chocolates, candies, cookies, deserts or chips to share with their table mates.

We will ring a bell bringing you all back to the tables. Once everyone takes a place then we will do the whole room meet and greet where everyone will get up and make it around the room shaking hands, (some hug!) and meet each other! It just so happens when people first come in they start talking to old friends and they don’t get to meet everyone, so this just loosens everyone up and becomes fun!

From there we will take our seats and then I will give you the overview of what the workshop is all about. Lori and I will explain what we are hoping to that each of you achieve in that particular workshop.

START TIME: 4-4:30 check in, meet and greet


4:45-5:00-Explanation/overview of what the workshop is about

5:00-5:45 Workshop-10 people to each table with one moderator. Some of our moderators have their own celebrity and draw a following to their tables. Each one of them has a moderator outline to help guide you through the workshop.

5:45-6:00-Bathroom and drink break

6:00-6:30-wrap up of workshop

6:30-7:00 group discussion and sharing of what we learned. People can stand up and share their thoughts and insights from their table.

7:00-?? We all go to the main floor where they have reserved tables for us. There you are on your own tab for drinks and whatever you choose for dinner. You don’t have to eat but at least come and socialize! Believe it or not  he conversations from the workshops follow some upstairs and people share their thoughts.

BENEFITS: You will meet some of the kindest, compassionate and caring people through the workshops! GREAT friendships are made when sharing laughter, tears, thoughts, feelings, information, drink and food! There are several things that you will take away from the workshops: learning new ideas, learning new information, hope for the future and friendships! I have seen our group grow from just being people in a room to people with warm friendships, welcoming new and old friends and even the change from sad or lost to happy and being people that are now moving forward!

Rules of the workshops:

EVERYONE gets a turn to share their thoughts, experiences and feelings about the subject. Remember this is an interactive workshop. YOU are part of what happens there.

Tempers are not allowed. You can share your thoughts and feelings but must do so with class. Loss of temper will not be tolerated.

CRUDENESS is not appreciated. Some of our subjects may lend toward sex, feelings about how men and women behave or a number of other touchy subjects. We can talk about anything and everything but we keep things out of the gutter. There is much laughter sometimes when we talk about things and clean, playful humor is very much enjoyed by all.

He or she is your leader and you are asked to follow their lead. If they say your time is up, your time is up. In the past, we have had some people that tried to hog the conversation or take over from the moderator. If I get a tip from the moderator that they are having issues with someone who is ill-behaved, I will then intervene. It know we are all adults, but some don’t know how to play well with others. This does not happen often but if it does it is dealt with.

Show of emotions is quite okay. Sometimes our subject matter touches the heart or the emotions and we are there for each other to assist. We usually have someone trained in our group that can and are willing to help assist when someone needs help. Remember, these workshops are to help us, each other and to move forward. Sometimes moving forward involves pain and emotions and those are not feelings that we should try to hide or be ashamed or embarrassed about. We have all been there!

Please keep your voices to a level that won’t interfere with the table next to you.

PLEASE--Thank your moderator at the end of the session.
Each of them are not getting paid to be sitting in that chair. They are donating their time, compassion and skills to help each of you get something valuable and meaningful out of the experience. When you pay your $5.00 at the door, that money goes towards the moderator’s dinner and materials to create the workshops.

I do not do these workshops as a business. Heck, by the time I create and work on the
workshop materials, setting up the tables, decorating them and cleaning up and hosting the dinner hours afterwards, I am in the hole for my time and money spent. The workshops are a mission in my life and I enjoy creating them and seeing the good that comes from them. I have a job and do not rely on the workshops for revenue. I have expenses of Meetup web site, gas to and from workshops and events, decorations for tables, name tags, markers, paper, printing of hand outs, pens and paper for tables, candy for tops of tables, research materials (books-cd’s and such), the cost of my own food and drinks and a host of other trivial items. So please understand, this is important to me and I take the workshops seriously. It is my way of giving back to those that bring great things to my life. I LEARN JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ALL DO when I create and execute each workshop! It is a win-win!

So please mark your calendars for the next scheduled Sunday when we will start! I will be posting the name and the description of this next workshop some time in mid-week, so keep your eyes on your mail and sign up and come on out and enjoy a great evening with us!

Welcome back our past moderators-Lori G, Marybeth, Little Diane and Ximena. A warm welcome to a newbie-Sue who has offered to step in to moderate!

So friends, take a seat and put on your seat belts! This is going to be a bumpy, FUN and exciting ride! LOL

Thanks and hope to see you all there!

Fena, Lori, Steven and all our wonderful moderators!


Join or login to comment.

  • jim r.

    Sorry I missed it, looking forward to the next workshops

    November 9, 2013

  • Fena

    Wow! GREAT! There was a lot of feed back and almost all of it was positive. I know that everyone complimented their moderators and they enjoyed their session!

    November 4, 2013

  • Sid B.

    The topics were interesting, Lori was an excellent moderator, all the people at our table were open and interesting, and I was left with many things to think about.

    November 4, 2013

  • Rosemary (.

    I had my dad in the emergency room til 3:00 this morning. I am beat. Will not be attending this workshop, but look forward to the next one.

    November 3, 2013

    • Rosemary (.

      Dee & Sue,

      November 4, 2013

    • Rosemary (.

      Thanks for the support. It feels good to have friends who care.

      November 4, 2013

  • essar

    Great event!!! Thanks everyone. Made new friends, always a good thing - working together to make progress on what matters...

    November 4, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    This was so informative and it was nice to meet so many great people! I look forward to doing this again.

    1 · November 4, 2013

  • Linda

    Wonderful evening! It was great to make new friends and I'm looking forward to the next one!

    November 4, 2013

  • Barrie

    Great event! Thanks for making a newbie feel welcome! Enjoyed meeting everyone and hope to see you all again soon!

    November 4, 2013

  • joe p.

    I had a great time exchanging ideas and meeting new friends

    November 4, 2013

  • Earthie

    Nice,warm,atmosphere,good session.

    November 3, 2013

  • Dee

    Lots of new people to meet so had a good exchange of ideas.

    November 3, 2013

  • Laura H.

    Great conversations & New friendships! Just what I needed

    1 · November 3, 2013

  • Lori G

    Did you know it is not too late to sign up for today's event? Come
    On out and join us! I will bring chocolate! Everything is better with chocolate right???

    November 3, 2013

    • Dee

      Just bring yourself, Kate. If you have leftovers from Halloween you want to get rid of, then bring 'em with you....

      November 3, 2013

  • Fena

    Today's event is going to be amazing! I have had input from Steven, Lori and Ximena on our topic and the outline has been adjusted to reflect their input! See, many minds make work much easier and the content richer!

    November 3, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    sorry but I can't attend. Today I became foster mother to Ellie Mae, a spaniel mix from a shelter in KY. She is so very scared & I don't want to leave her alone too much until she adjusts.

    November 1, 2013

    • Dee

      Congrats on the new fur-baby! But we will miss you!

      November 2, 2013

  • Lori G

    Hope to see you all tomorrow! Please come out and join us no matter where you are on the journey. I know that last year every time we met I walked away with a new tidbit of wisdom. If nothing else, learn what the opposite sex is thinking as we were through some scenarios. You might be surprised!

    November 2, 2013

  • Denise

    Sounds interestng worth a try, hope to see you there.

    October 30, 2013

    • Dee

      Denise - Come for the fellowship & fun even when it's not a topic near-and-dear to your heart. There's always an interesting conversation going on.

      2 · October 31, 2013

  • Barrie

    I think this is exactly what I am looking for! Sounds great!

    1 · October 31, 2013

  • Sid B.

    Thanks to Lucille, I am all set with a ride for Sunday. :)

    1 · October 30, 2013

  • Fena

    Anyone close to Sid? If so, could you give him a ride?
    Also...Sid, I will make sure that you get there!

    October 30, 2013

  • Sid B.

    Fena. I'm in Schaumburg not far from Roselle Rd and the Elgin O'Hare.

    October 29, 2013

  • Fena

    Sid, what area do you live in?

    October 29, 2013

  • Sid B.

    Good news, bad news. The good news is that my car is being repaired. The bad news is that it won't be ready before Tuesday and the rental goes back on Friday. So, is there a kind person who can offer a ride?

    October 29, 2013

  • Fena

    Hi Kate! Thanks! If you would like to come a little early, you could help set up the tables and also have a beverage with Lori and I while we set up. Also, if you would like to help write out name tags and greet, another person's hands are welcome!

    October 24, 2013

  • Fena are now the EXOTIIQUE trusty side kick! LOL. We have to think of a title. How about WINGMAN? LOL. are IMPORTANTE!

    October 23, 2013

  • Dee

    What?!? I'm a trusty "side kick" now? I wanna be something more exotic!

    October 22, 2013

  • A former member
    A former member

    I don't think I'll make this first one but, hope to be there next time.
    Nice group of people!

    October 22, 2013

  • Lori G

    Awesome news! Can't wait to get started again!

    October 22, 2013

  • Fena

    Sorry for the way this copied over. I have changed it 3 times and it still did not take. I wrote it in Word and it did not copy over onto Meetup as I wrote it. Sorry about that!

    October 22, 2013

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