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"Friends First" FUN Friends Group Message Board › Seeds Articles

Seeds Articles

Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 251
This is where all the Seeds Column are housed. If you would like to read back issues of Seeds, this is where you will find them!
Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 282
Good morning friends!
I get so much positive feedback from you about how you enjoy Seeds of Wisdom. I receive e-mails every day and there is not a fuction that I go to that someone doesn't come up to me to tell me what Seeds means to them. We ALL need a lifting word here and there from time to time.
Seeds takes a good deal of time to write. As you have seen over the last month or so, Seeds has not been sent on a regular basis. Largely due to my work load of developing our new site for Friends First!
I do know that we have some wonderful writers in our group. From time to time, as those people send articles to me that I know are about lessons learned, uplifting, educational and inspirational, I am going to host those articles as guest writers for Seeds!
I am not the only one with a voice here! I want to share the stage with those of you that have something to share CONSTRUCTIVELY with our group.
I am still going to write but on the days that I simply can't, I am going to send out an article that one of our members write!
This first article comes from a gentleman that has gone through a divorce over the last year. When I read this, I loved it and thought that it should be shared with you.
It is refreshing to see things also through the eyes of men. As I write, my viewpoints are those of a woman. I invite any of you guys out there that have something to say, to write an article and send it to me.

bag·gage (bgj)
n. 1. The trunks, bags, parcels, and suitcases in which one carries one's belongings while traveling; luggage. 2. The movable equipment and supplies of an army. 3. Superfluous or burdensome practices, regulations, ideas, or traits. 4. a. A woman prostitute. b. An impudent girl or woman. luggage [ˈlʌgɪdʒ] n suitcases, trunks, etc., containing personal belongings for a journey; baggage

Baggage VS Luggage

I have a mixed set of luggage that sleeps in the attic. Oh that’s kind; I have 5 suitcases each entirely
separate either having been purchased on sale or obtained as a “family giveaway”. But for one possible
common thread of color, each piece is distinct from the other. Their purpose on a trip is clear enough
which is to hold my clothes and personals or as George Carlin would put it, “my stuff”.

I also have baggage and, like the luggage, it’s different except for one common thread; it is born of hurt
(self-imposed or brought on by others) and/or shame of bad choices I’ve made. Baggage diminishes my
self confidence in one way or another, and can be flat out paralyzing. It gets in the way of being positive and seeing the potential that lies in the future.

Whereas the luggage sits gathering dust awaiting a trip, the baggage seems to get checked in day in
and day out whether I want it or not. What is it about my baggage that can’t just be stowed or thrown
away? Why the need to open it and be reminded that I got screwed, I screwed up or, somebody else
thinks I did and I see some truth in that?

The baggage is stored in an easily accessible room of my mind with an unlocked door. On a good day,
the door is shut pretty tight, but on a bad day, that room is wide open and ablaze with blinding light.

In order for me to grow and move forward, I know that I need to clean-out that “baggage room”. Like
many house cleaning chores, I tend to put them off and do something more enjoyable. I mean who
likes cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush? Ironic isn’t it that I so easily created the clutter and have the
hardest time getting rid of it?

I know the baggage gets in my way as I continue to trip over it. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to step
around and over as I walk down life’s path? Perhaps getting rid of that baggage has something to do
with “getting out of one’s own way”. Gee, I need to grab a hold of that thought and start purging. Yeah
that’s right I’ll start first thing tomorrow or maybe I’ll have more energy when the weekend comes.

This message was sent by Fena ( from "Friends First" FUN Friends Group.
To learn more about Fena, visit his/her member profile

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Group Organizer
Arlington Heights, IL
Post #: 286
Seed of Wisdom

"Some day, after we have mastered the winds and the waves, the tides and gravity, we will harness the energies of love. And, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire." "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
J.R.R. Tolkien Good morning friends, Ever wonder where I get my ideas for Seeds? Many times I get them from YOU! This morning I received a letter from my good friend Mick Brown. Mick and I go back 20+ years. Mick is THE original member of my very first group back in 1991 at the Sheraton O'hare and a member of Friends First! Over the last 21 years we have kept up with each other as our lives have taken twists and turns. The one thing great thing is that our lives have changed in many ways but we never lost our friendship. We have history. WE have memories. We were in our 30's back then! I was 32! Imagine ME at 32! When I received Mick's letter, which you will read below, it made me think about how TRUE it is! We make time for all things important. What we don't recognize sometimes is WHAT is important. So take a minute and read Mick's letter AND the piece that he sent to me below his letter. MICK'S LETTER:

Michael G. Brown 11:35 PM (5 hours ago) to me
What Mick wrote:

Isn't it strange how there is a certain serendipity to life?

I was checking out a new place in Lake Bluff on Saturday with friends and the topic of conversation was how little time some people are willing to give to a relationship.

People work of course, they go to the gym, they have their bowling / volleyball / golf / softball leagues, and other "self" activities; but when you add up the hours, is there really that much time in the average person's life to grow and nurture a relationship?

I feel that you are one of the smart ones who knows how to manage their time- but there are many others that fill their lives and then somehow hope to squeeze a quality relationship in there somewhere in what scraps of time remain.

Then today I stumbled across this item that puts a finer point on how we spend the time during our lives.

Hope you can use it for a future workshop or the like. BELOW is the attachment that Mick sent:People move, things change, friendships shift. Friends have disagreements. Real friends come back together. We mature, we grow, we realize what in our lives has value. Mick and I drifted apart for a time. There was some misunderstanding. Yet, we found our way back to our friendship-this 21 year old friendship. Why? Because we WANTED to. Neither of us wanted to lose that friendship. Today, I value that friendship more than you can imagine! We have history. We KNOW each other. The same is true in relationships. It takes time. It takes nurturing. It takes understanding. There are ups and there are DOWNS. The proof of the friendship/relationship is HOW you handle the ups AND the downs--WHAT YOU do with them! Mick and I--- we gave our friendship time. We did not give up on each other. NOW 21 years later, when we both have matured and realized how valuable friendships and people are in our lives, we are sharing a deep and valued friendship again. We have seen each other at events and chatted and exchanged e-mails. I am having dinner with my friend this Thursday. One on one dinner-Just Mick and I There were many times 21 years ago that we, along with some of our other friends, shared many dinners and happy times. But this Thursday is different. We won't be surrounded by people from an event. We won't be part of the crowd of attendees. We are two good friends that now realize that we how valuable our friendship was/is and we are making time to do "FACE TIME" with each other. The friendship will continue 21 years later because we WANT it to continue. As you read this, think about how this relates to your life. Are you giving yourself the TIME to have a relationship? How about those friendships? The housework can wait! Is it THAT important. We can't take the housework and chores to the grave with us. The one and only thing that we take with us when we pass on is LOVE. Love of family, love of a partner and love of friends. If you don't take time to make those connections now, especially now that we are in our 50's/60's, WHEN will you have time. Time is running out. Fill your life with the love of people! THEY are what counts! Have a wonderful day friends. My life is full because of YOU. FenaD'Ottavio
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