|Sent on:||Saturday, June 16, 2012 9:50 AM|
As you know we like to have a bit of fun in this group, so well done to all who entered caption competition 1!
POLLS ARE NOW OPEN - WILL CLOSE ON 23rd/6.
13 people entered (but we're not superstitious - right?!). The entries are split into 2 polls (as only 10 choices can be entered in one poll).
YOU CAN VOTE FOR THE TWO PEOPLE with your favourite submissions FROM EACH POLL ( 1a &1b) - TOTAL 4 PEOPLE.
Winner will be chosen from these 4 finalists at meetup 7, on 24/7. Prize to top finalist who is at the meeting.
For ease, I have listed them all together on the final page of the competition (under 'Creative' Sub forum 7) : here and they are also given below.
CAPTION COMPETITION 1 : Charlton Heston as Moses, holding 2 stone tablets
"Lord, any chance of releasing a Kindle version? These weigh a ton."
"Yes, I understand Lord. There wasn't sufficient room on these slabs to mention anything about child abuse."
Moses can't make it for his portrait painting, so Charlton Heston stands in for him
Moses: "Standard! Get your Evening Standard!"
3/ Steve Lawlor
"Only two stones left, get 'em while they are hot"
"Well that's the thing: it is set in stone now"
"So when are we going to get these 3-D printers then?"
"Ok they'll probably go for it - but it wouldn't be such a given if the RMT were involved!"
"So let me get this right. This is the 'Ten Commandments Version 1.0'. There are still over two hundred and seventy Laws NOT included in this version but will be mentioned in the user manual, but that will be published in a few hundred years or so. As you are God, and perfect, you don't anticipate needing a Version 2 before then, or even a service pack update. OK ... and what's that you said is going to happen in a thousand years? ... Oh yes, you said, you're son is going to enhance the package. Well, I don't want to criticise Mr God, but it does seem an awful long time to wait between releases ... Sorry? Shut up or you'll flood the world again? Oh sorry Mr. God. Please forgive me. I won't question your timetable again. Tell me, do you happen to
know a guy called Bill Gates?"
"You know I'm lysdexic right?"
You're a God for F*** sake! Give me a paper copy!
6/ Paul St. Paul
"They're never gonna go for this back at camp..."
"Couldn't you have written these on two big chunks of gold?"
"What happens if I say no?"
"Ya know, this would make a great movie one day"
"That Jevovah's a real narcissist - half of this lot here is about praising him! .... but I must admit, he does give a really good blow dry and wave ...just look at my hair ...Ooooo!"
"Yes I did nibble on some mushroom just before I saw the burning bush and heard voices...why do you ask?"
Oh, that's what the "keep off the grass" sign meant?!
8/ Roger Cawkwell
"A funny thing happened to me on the way down the hill..."
9/ Frances Janusk
"Listen, I know you don't like that 'thou shalt not commit adultery' one, but just be thankful I persuaded him to drop the 'no oral sex' commandment."
10/ Mike Peters
"OK, so let me see... Anyf Feyedjefy Jafe Fejy...... that should win me a place in the complete bollocks competition"
The first ever breast implants were somewhat heavy.
"Hmmm, how did it again? Gm Am C7m... Smooooke on the waaater... No, crap, that finger should go lower.."
Anyf: Err, dude...
Ypd: Yes bro?
Anif: Why's this bloke behind us staring into space, like, in a weeiird way??
Ydp: Dunno... maybe he smokin' weed
Anif: He's touching me.....
Ypd: Yeah, he touching me too bro, got his hand on my shoulder, the creep...
Ypd: Yes bro?
Anif: He's touching me... down there... AAAHHH!!
10: Richard Francis
"Don't you have an app for this?"
"Which of the 3 versions did you want us to go with?"
"When you say 'Thou shalt not kill', does that still allow me to have a gun licence?"
"Just to warn you in advance, I have a bitch of a temper and if those muppets down there don't listen to me, I may smash these up... Oh wait... you already know that, don't you!! Hang on then. Thinking about it. If you already know that I'm going to smash these up then why... oh, I'm not going to open that can of worms!!"
"Thankyou o'Lord!... One small favour, could you fuse these two tablets together, then I could snowboard down"
"Dis is de eezee bit,,,, vate till you hear vot he vants us to do to our villies..!!!!"