CONFIRMED: LEGAL SEA FOODS LOWER PATIO SUNDAY. Forecast: overcast. Chance of rain: only 1 in 6. Source: timeanddate.com.
This is the NOT the swanky Legal Sea Foods Restaurant on the upper level. No pressure to order food. This is the lower level patio directly in front of the MAIN entrance of the Charles Hotel, Harvard Sq.
(Rain forecast default location= Cafe Noir, just inside. the main entrance.)
IMPORTANT: Please wear your finest fake mustaches for this event. (Disclaimer: no one is required to wear one, we pledge equality for all).
PLEASE BRING CASH to help your patient & hard working waitstaff.
In the true Intellectual Snob tradition as usual we are here to pooh- pooh things we disapprove of.
For a list of suggested things we could do without scroll down to the end.
You don't have to be a genuine intellectual-- pseudo-intellectuals are also welcome.
All you need is an aloof attitude full of irony or some baffling ideas, or-- dare I say it-- some unanswered metaphysical question you try & get answered incognito.
Humor in good taste-- ALLOWED. Intellectual apparel: allowed. Startle the waitstaff with a goatee, Periwig, or monocle. Fold-up sunglasses, corduroy jackets with elbow patches-- allowed. No Meerschaum tobacco pipes, please. Absinthe is not served.
Here's the list of suggestions of things that we could do without,
--gray cars. Noted: they call the color "silver". It's gray! How about some orange or bright red; purple? /...brown houses. How about some beuatiful bright blue or even orange?
--certain personalities we could do without (specify).
--"sports" which include brawls
--ingredients once called "artificial flavors" now called "natural flavors" or "spices";
--1- ply toilet paper
--TV stations which raise the volume when there are ads,
--weather forecasters calling snow flurries "storm systems"
--bicyclists wearing dark clothes with no lights at night or helmets
--stores making $5 on a purchase requiring the customer to make exact change on a cash total of $10.01.
--fake internet sites with pop-up ads
--very heavy wheelchair "accessible" electronic doors which don't work.
--unintelligible subway "T" employees, way over-amplified & repeating the same info between stations as if it is a play-by-play to the point that no one can talk or even think
--unlabeled additives in wine (there are dozens)
--live TV reporters sent to remote/ non greater-area Boston locations where there is the most extreme weather to comment on the severity of weather events whereas most viewers live in Boston
--music stations that continue playing the same songs over & over until you can't stand them any more
--obnoxious car horns. Why can't cars play a sweet melody to say "please do you mind moving out of the way", instead of "move it, idiot"!
--recent legislation in Massachusetts outlawing electric bicycles
--Local news i.e. police log plus weather plus celebrity report
--The planned cloning of a Woolly Mammoth from DNA found from fossils (yes, really)
(...this debate could get interesting; who will debate in support of the misguided forecasters, --? the Woolly Mammoths?)
Parking: unrestricted on Sundays in Cambridge. Otherwise put your old clunky Volkswagens at the Charles Hotel Parking garage, 1 Bennett St.