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SoCal Poly Friends Message Board › MJ5TFW: approving people to join as members

MJ5TFW: approving people to join as members

A former member
Post #: 560
MJ5TH7: This setting is most fundamentally controlled at­ "Who can join this group?"

MJ5TLS: To my the best of my knowledge, this group has never required any check in order to become a member (so that setting was to the default "Anyone can join the group, there are no restrictions"), though it has had rules as to what a member means.
MJ5TMU: I am leaving the rest of this post for details on that if they are found.
A former member
Post #: 561
MJ5TP9: Most notably in our regular discussion meetings, such as tomorrow's #11­ , I have been concerned about typically an overwhelming # of men
MJ5TT0: Here's the stats so far:

MJ61L8: looking at­ (last visited (so roughly active) members), I count all members active within the last month: get 37.5 men and 11.5 women, and 0 unknown, so 77% men -nearly identical ratio.

MJ626M: Clearly too many men.
MJ62Q6: And an unbalanced gender ratio is not healthy for heterosexual romance. Indeed according to one webpage (plus my personal experience) an even ~1% excess many men makes dating very difficult.
MJ68VL: * source: http://www.xoxosoma.c...­ (which I originally found at MJ67VC), says that in LA is the ratio is (m-w)=12 and (m+w)=1000, so m=12+w, so (12+w)+w)=1000 so w=(1000-12)/2=494 so m=506; so men=50.6%. And "the West Coast is still definitely boytown".

MJ636G: To fix this, now I'm selecting now with the intent to mostly only approve women until we start routinely having balanced gender-ratio meetings.

MJ696M: How long will it take to balance out our membership?
MJ639L: since we're already off-balanced by 77%, so an estimated 113 men vs 49 women, we are short 64 women.
MJ694W: Our growth rate:­ says we went from 2012.12.05 with 130 mbrs to today with 146 mbrs, so 16 mbrs/3mo=5.3 mbrs/mo.
MJ695S: =64/(1-0.77)/5.3=52.5mo=4.38years --not encouraging.

MJ69I7: Rule: each month our discussion meetings have x extra women, up to x extra men will be admitted that month.
A former member
Post #: 570
MJK9RP: As of a few days ago, the new announcement that people need to be improved seems to be notably increasing the standard of our profiles

A former member
Post #: 571
MJKDPK: Somebody, almost certainly Dave D., is approving applicants to our group but I currently intend me Destiny to be the only one processing applicants.

  • MJKAWU: Per the new "About us" point MJCOJZ, Dave has just the role of event host despite his Head title displayed by Meetup, so should not be approving members, leaving just me to process members
  • MJKB6S: By the time ("Posted Mar 4, 2013 7:20 PM") of the membership-approval announcement post, membership-requiring-approval started.
    MJKB1R: And­ continues to be set to "Anyone can try to join, but they must be approved by a group Organizer"
  • MJKB8E: However after this time, Approved members should be none (because I haven't approved anyone) but are 3:
    Give member a custom title
    Joined March 12, 2013
    Last visited past few days
    Give member a custom title
    Joined March 9, 2013
    Last visited a week ago
    "Hi. Mostly curious about this group. Was member before but not much activity. Is this active now? "
    Lisa Estrada
    Give member a custom title
    Joined March 7, 2013
    Last visited a week ago
    "I am a married woman homeschooling mom of 1 and speech therapist assistant. We are looking to evolve together as a couple married 6 yrs."
  • MJKDIU: Similarly, Since that time, pending members should be all applicants but there's 2:
    Joe Smol
    Joined March 8, 2013
    Last visited a week ago
    "Kind person."
    Joined March 7, 2013
    Last visited a week ago
    "I'm originally from New York City, a professional screenwriter, masculine, bi, poly, and Tantric. I'm interested in live music, dancing, films, theatre..."
  • MJKDML: this backs the subject of this post.

A former member
Post #: 572
MJKDVR: RE my last post, Dave D.

  • MJKEV6: Did you see the new "About us..." I put up, especially the "MJ6BDB: We know our stuff" section covering both of us and our roles?
    MJKF35: I haven't called it to your attention yet as it's not fully proofread & tested and didn't seem you would need to see it because so far I've understood both of us to be following those roles already, but it now seems you're doing admin stuff & unexpectedly so I should I call it to your attention so we're on the same set of expectations.
  • MJKEF1: Did you get my email, ID MJEKGJ, I sent to you "Sat, Mar 9, 2013 at 9:10 AM"?
    MJKSOS: As this post replaces (as covers & extends) the 1st of that email's 2 points: point MJEKKQ asking "not that we wouldn't want [Lisa­], but why did you approve her?".
  • MJKE1G: Thank you for paying the Meetup hosting fees for our group and for hosting events on our group. That's all though that I expected & wanted you to do, but, as just noted, it seems you've been doing more:
  • MJKEBV: In the last month or more, what Organizer/admin stuff have you done on this our group beyond that?

    • MJKDXQ: Most notably, this month, how many members applying to join our group have you processed (as approved, declined, admin contacted, etc)?
    • MJKDY2: In due respect, why have you done any of this? And not told me?
      MJKQCQ: Is it, as I would guess, by accident?
      MJKQD7: *As have you mistaken the "Want to join" emails meetup sends us as being from one of your other groups you lead/Head?
    • MJKQIX: as would be expected, it's causing problems with someone else also doing admin, in this case also processing applications, and especially without syncing it with at at least the other admins
      MJKQLF: *Including men are being approved when generally men shouldn't be.
      MJKQMV: **including nothing bad but a sign of the sort of trouble, one­ today, just after being approved, approached one of the attractive women on the site via private messaging (not itself bad) but I see is also not RSVPing for events where he found her RSVPing YES for, combined is probably not a good sign. Checking into it though I found more much serious: he was brand new and got approved behind my back, causing me to investigate & create this thread.
      MJKT0L: *Aside: a seemingly great convention, you'll note I every admin action, indeed most every action, I take, I also post to keep everyone in sync (admin & indeed all group members) --including as you see even this very communication. But I'm not saying you need to do this, too, unless of course we were both doing admin.
    • MJKQXM: But even if I've run into these problems from your doing that, I'm not saying you should anything, including to undo; please don't make further admin changes (except on your own events) unless we first agree to them; I will handle.

  • MJKDY2: Unless I ask otherwise, please stop doing any Organizer stuff on our group other than Event Host stuff, ok? And if you still do something, please let me know (as post it on our discussion board), very ideally in advance ok?
  • MJKR8L: Kindly reply-post here.
  • MJKR8V: And/or, solving this in more, also what are your thoughts about transferring the group to me? -don't answer here though: just see & reply on that thread as well.

A former member
Post #: 609
MMEUIZ: Seeing no response (probably Meetup's fault), and still continuing having members being automatically approved join w/o my doing (and when they shouldn't be, as late as Kwan­ "Joined May 2, 2013") , just posted this Greet on Dave's profile:
Dave, regarding very important admin of http://OC-Polyamory...­ , pls see my discussion post for u especially at­ and subsequent posts & reply there. The parts in bold are essential for u to see. This I actually posted for u back in March (and applies just as much today as it did then) but Meetup probably didn't well tell u. Thanks.
May 06, 2013 8:54 PM

A former member
Post #: 618
MNLTI7: I now see there are 0 pending members, and from­ all 15 pending members since the last post here (May 06) have been approved. Dave must have done this; email him now to see this greet

From: DestinyArchitect <>
Date: Thu, May 30, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Subject: MNLU1N: URGENT: u're seemingly missing all my Meetup posts to u
To: Dave Doleshal <>
Cc: "" <>

MNLTRH: Dear Dave,
MNLTST: I've no phone # for you. What you're current phone?
--especially needed for situations as this:
MNLTTI: Even though I'm your co-organizer, u're seemingly missing all my Meetup posts to u:
MNLTRN: What's happening when Meetup emails you withs subject "DestinyArchitect Posted a Greeting on Your Profile!"?
MNLTX6: Are you filtering your Meetup email? It's understandable with the volume meetup sends but anyone of the form such as "Posted a Greeting on Your Profile!" need to take high priority (and your email client rules can achieve this; what I do).
MNLU0T: Most notably I need to your reply (posts as directed) to my "May 06, 2013 8:54 PM" Greet on ur­ -reply on the dicussion board as that directs, and we can talk there. This is important stuff.
MFB199: Sincerely, -Michael aka Destiny. Asides:
MFB0S5: What are these codes as “MFB0S5” on this paragraph? They're short IDs to date-stamp, uniquely-reference, and portably-track most any point or item.
MFB0YE: Email addresses ending in don't go to anyone but are just handy tags for filing as that link details.

A former member
Post #: 624
MPNECO: My last attempt to contact Dave was email q(Thu, May 30, 2013 at 2:24 AM ...MNLTRH: Dear Dave, ) but still no reply from him. But he is emailing: my last email from him was him to our whole group­ ; so he's still emailing just not reading or at least replying to my email.

MPNEDE: But good news. No applications to us have been approved by people other than me (notably by him) since the last one "Joined June 3, 2013" -( Chrstina­ ); and we've since got 23 pending members which I'm now reviewing for approval:
*MPNEMR: From Ash­ : male, applied "June 5, 2013"
*MPNEMZ: to Damien Marie AtHope­ male, applied "July 8, 2013"
*MPNEP7: 5 (of 23), so ~21%, are female, which I recall is typical.

MPNEWG: approved 6 members, all women but PhotoJoe: quote(NEW MEMBER
PhotoJoe joined
Bea Hive joined
Kristina joined
DEDE joined
Shawna Biddick joined
Tonya joined
MPNTVZ: also greeted 6 recent blanket-approved, women only, as they didn't get any welcome greet otherwise and to increase attendance.
MPNTYO: --full details can be found at­ items MPNEWG to MPNT6W.
MPNV0W: The above, my ~5yrs of work here to boost our attendance, I just announced on our upcoming main meeting.
A former member
Post #: 626

MQFDGD: We've got ~11 new Pending members since my last member processing.

MQU0HX: At the time of this last post, I was going to process them, but got interrupted.
A former member
Post #: 630
MQU0JM: [under construction]
MQU0JT: We've got ~15 new Pending members since my last member processing Jul08~, so since & including Damien­ : I count 9 men + 7 women (where couple profiles count 2), surprisingly & pleasingly more % women than usual.

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