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Singles Group Etiquette

or How the group works for you without alienating everyone else.

As pointed out in the About Us section, this group is NOT A DATING SITE. That doesn't mean you can't find dates through this group, it means you should look at the group and the events from a broader perspective. To help everyone understand how to use this group correctly and not scare people off, here are some simple rules.

1. Do not contact someone you have not met at an event through the site e-mail system
The purpose of Meetup is to get people together on-line, so they can meet off-line. The purpose of this group is Singles Networking and the best way to do that is face to face. E-mailing people you do not know shows that you aren't serious about being social and just want quick fixes to your current lifestyle. If you get contacted by someone you don't know, you can either ignore the e-mail or encourage the person to meet you at the next event you are attending. Asking someone to join you at an event is not a date and that person is not obliged to spend the event with you or vise-versa.

2. RSVP for events
You can RSVP "Yes", "Maybe", or "No", which ever options are available. RSVPing "No" actually tells the Organizers that you are still alive and kicking, but you are unable to make the event. It will also save you from getting a reminder e-mail that you haven't RSVP'd for the event. If you are available for the event, then RSVP "Yes", don't check out who has RSVP'd, just do it. You never know who might be waiting for YOU to RSVP (even though they shouldn't wait either). The "Maybe" option is available most of the time, but it pretty much is taken as a "No". You can update your RSVP before most events.

3. Show up to the events
Again, you can't socialize if you aren't there. When people RSVP "Yes", they expect the other people who also RSVP'd "Yes" to be there. We have very few events that require you to be there exactly at the starting time. If you can't make it on time, don't decide that you can't make it. Show up a little late. None of the group's events last just an hour. RSVPing "Yes" and not showing up will probably also make you look like a flake to others. Not a good impression to make.

4. Go to the appropriate age range events
When the group started all events were for all age ranges. After the group started to grow, it became noticeable that when an event gets dominated by one age range other age ranges tend to fade away. You should still come to ALL AGE events, because you never know who you will meet and what type of connections you might make. When an event does have an age range, it is a guideline. The age range lets you know what group the event is aimed at, it doesn't mean you have to be in that age range. However, if you go to an event for an age range you are not in and you find that people aren't really talking to you, it could be that you don't fit in with that age range as well as you thought. It's okay, the age range that you are supposed to be in will still accept you. I know there are some of you who go to all the different age range events. If you feel like you are getting funny looks at one of them, you might want to consider cutting it down to the two age ranges you are actually in.

5. Talk to everyone at the event, regardless of your attraction to them
As stated earlier, the group is all about Singles Networking. You never know what sort of connections you will make through the group. The connections you make do not have to always be in the dating relationship realm. That person you might not be interested in dating, might have a friend you will be interested in or end up being a good friend or business contact. That's how networking works, point to point until you reach your final goal.

6. Take it slow
Do not go to the events thinking you'll find Mister or Missus Perfect. Do not attempt to get phone numbers from every person of the opposite gender before you leave the room. Take your time and get to know people. If you don't get enough time to talk to them at the first event you meet them at, encourage them to go to the next event. You are almost guaranteed that there will be another event the next week. If someone ask you for your phone number the first time you meet them, you can always tell them to go to a few more events before the two of you head down that road.

7. Don't bring your crazy all out at once (Trademark Deanism)
Do not talk about politics, religion, or your ex's when you first meet people or basically at any singles event. Once people get to know you and you do things outside of the group together, then you can bring these things up. Let people find out your issues slowly so they can understand who you are and not preconceived notions based on a label.

8. Behave
There are plenty of other Meetup groups for you to get wack out crazy and end up on "Girlz Gone Wild" or "People do the Stupidest Things". It would be nice if you don't do those things at this group's events. Not that we don't want you to have fun, but it goes back to the "don't bring your crazy all out at once". If you know you have issues drinking a little too much, either don't drink or only bring enough cash for one drink. Nobody will think of you any different if you aren't drinking, it's not a requirement. Please keep your hands to yourself as much as possible. While you might think you are the most suave or sexiest thing on earth after 3 beers and a chaser, you are probably wrong and the person you are groping most likely doesn't believe it either. Meetup makes the world a little smaller, so anything you do at one event could possibly be heard of in another group.

9. Know when to go home
While most of the places we go to have long operating hours, private homes do not. Most times the house host will give a clear sign that it is time to go home. Whether that be cleaning up items or a simple "Get out of my house now!". When the sign to go home appears, make sure you gather all of your stuff and start to head out the door. Before you leave, make sure you thank the house host and offer to help in cleaning up. If the event is at a business, they will probably let you know when you need to leave. Remember, closing time does not mean "who can I try to hook up with before I go home time".

10. Review the event
Liked it, loved it, or meh. However you felt about the event, give it a review. If you are witty, you can leave a comment that will tell people about you. They might see the comment and decide that you are person they want to meet at the next event. If there was something about the event that you really like, there might be someone else who felt the same. And of course, the Organizers appreciate any feedback we can get on the events.

Table of Contents

Page title Most recent update Last edited by
Where we are from February 27, 2009 1:19 PM former member
Singles Group Etiquette December 29, 2008 12:48 PM former member
Other Events July 23, 2007 9:19 AM former member
Event Reviews by the Member March 12, 2007 8:17 AM former member
About The Raleigh-Durham Singles Meetup Group March 17, 2010 10:05 AM former member

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